This is such an easy job! The fish practically jump in the boat! And I don’t have to go looking under every rock for these creepy critters. They come to me and let me know what they are doing. In fact they often brag about it

Take T. Dexter for example. He had his “Back2Bible” conference coming up in about a week. And they’re going to have some dynamite teachers/preachers covering some dynamite topics. In fact, according to the flyer on T. Dexter’s site, they promise that “(F)undamental philosophies such as redemption, salvation, prayer, the blood covenant and the resurrection will all be discussed during this three-day event.”

Hold on there cowboy!! Philosophies? Since when are the central teachings of Christianity simply philosophies? Philosophies are systems of principles for guidance in practical affairs. Redemption is not a principal. It’s not a philosophy. God’s covenant with man is not a principle. It’s certainly not a philosophy. And certainly the resurrection is not a philosophy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (or in the case of the Pimps – do unto others before they do unto you) is a philosophy.

T. Dexter Jakes – the next Billy Graham. Right.

In Back2 Bible, T. Dexter is presenting such luminaries as Ken Ulmer and Tommy Tenney. And notice they are described as great orators. So this means what? That we’ll be impressed with their speaking skills while they feed us lies and errors? Apparently so.

Here’s a mug shot of the perpetrators. And as usual, they are regular founts of screwed up doctrine and pimpological expertise extraordinaire.

As an example, Tommy Tenney is the author of “The God Chasers” and “God’s Dream Team”. Here’s a quote from “The God Chasers”:

My life changed forever on the October weekend in Houston, Texas, when God’s presence invaded the atmosphere like a thunderbolt and split the podium at the Sunday service.
Chapter 6, page 83.

In “God’s Dream Team” he says:

There have always been dreamers. Men and women who catch a glimpse of something beyond themselves who dare to reach for goals and visions … Yet no earthly dreamer can match the greatest of them all, the Dreamer who died on the cross to make His dream a reality. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word.” The literal meaning of logos, the original Greek term translated as “Word,” is idea, thought or blueprint. It is an ancient Greek theatrical term describing the work of a playwright as he conceives, or dreams up, the plot of a play. So we could say, “In the beginning was the dream
God’s Dream Team, page 22

Did you catch that? One of the featured speakers at T. Dexter’s conference says Jesus was a dreamer. In fact, at the end he says that Jesus is the dream.

By the way, though he doesn’t exactly advertise it, Mr. Tenney is a Oneness proponent as well. Shouldn’t be surprised though. After all, T. Dexter is a Oneness preacher too. But neither of these guys has ‘nads to say so. After all, people aren’t quite stupid enough to completely ignore the fact that he denies one of the central tenets of Christianity. They’re getting there, but they’re not there just yet.. And as you would expect, Tenney’s theology is just as screwed up as T. Dexter’s.

Then there’s the woman preacher, Bishop Dr. Cynthia James. I can just see it now. T. Dexter has been busy feminizing men for the last ten years. Now he brings in a woman to ramp up the feminization efforts even more. And of course, she has ties, through folks like Dave Copeland (an up and coming Word of Faith fellow out of Texas [of course], to Fred Price, the Apostate Apostle of Word of Faith poison.

Ken Ulmer runs a church out of an old coliseum in Los Angeles. And during the week, to pay for the place, he rents it out to various rock groups and other performers of…uh…questionable character. He’s also the guy who, several years ago, came up with the book “A New Thing,” in which he proposes that many of the unbiblical practices and teachings he and his ilk are promoting are not wrong. They are simply new. Thus the non-stop screeching and hollering during that which they call worship are something new, not something stupid. Of course you wouldn’t expect an associate of T. Dexter to be any better at understanding God than the man the world is trying to give us to be the next great theologian of the church.

But enough of these clowns. Let’s take a look at one of my favorite pimps – Fast Eddie Long.

Fast Eddie is working a slightly new angle now. Here’s a shot from Fast Eddie’s web page What’s one of the first things you notice about it? Time’s up!!

That’s right! As usual, the entire site content focuses on Fast Eddie. There is a mention of God in Fast Eddie’s note to you. But that’s it. The rest of the stuff is Fast Eddie’s name, Fast Eddie’s picture, information about conferences featuring Fast Eddie or his wife, Mrs. Fast Eddie.

I’ve been watching some of Fast Eddie’s “sermons” lately. And though I have to fight the urge to whisper “Watch this! Watch this!” when I give a briefing at work, I’m going start on summarizing some of the poisoned pabulum and heresies he has been developing over the last year.

The man isn’t simply a pimp. He is a pimp’s pimp. In fact, I think he should get rid of the remodeled Benz he drives and start tooling around in this car. It fits his character and his scams much better. And yes, you’re right, that’s Ron O’Neal’s car from Super Fly (a movie that was out back when I had hair on the top of my head).

Stay away from these pimps. Stay away from anyone associated with these pimps. Any pastor who would associate with these men and women is either too stupid to understand that they are hurting you or they are too greedy to care about your spiritual health. And either of those possibilities says you need to find another church before you are dragged down into heresy, futility, and foolishness. If you want a sign indicating wether or not you should leave a church, look at the events schedule in your church program or the bulletin board and see who your elders are associating with. And if any of these pimps’ names appear there, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

Eddie Long, Fred K. C. Price, Pulpit Pimps, T. Dexter Jakes | 26 Comments »