This is such an easy job! The fish practically jump in the boat! And I don’t have to go looking under every rock for these creepy critters. They come to me and let me know what they are doing. In fact they often brag about it

Take T. Dexter for example. He had his “Back2Bible” conference coming up in about a week. And they’re going to have some dynamite teachers/preachers covering some dynamite topics. In fact, according to the flyer on T. Dexter’s site, they promise that “(F)undamental philosophies such as redemption, salvation, prayer, the blood covenant and the resurrection will all be discussed during this three-day event.”

Hold on there cowboy!! Philosophies? Since when are the central teachings of Christianity simply philosophies? Philosophies are systems of principles for guidance in practical affairs. Redemption is not a principal. It’s not a philosophy. God’s covenant with man is not a principle. It’s certainly not a philosophy. And certainly the resurrection is not a philosophy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (or in the case of the Pimps – do unto others before they do unto you) is a philosophy.

T. Dexter Jakes – the next Billy Graham. Right.

In Back2 Bible, T. Dexter is presenting such luminaries as Ken Ulmer and Tommy Tenney. And notice they are described as great orators. So this means what? That we’ll be impressed with their speaking skills while they feed us lies and errors? Apparently so.

Here’s a mug shot of the perpetrators. And as usual, they are regular founts of screwed up doctrine and pimpological expertise extraordinaire.

As an example, Tommy Tenney is the author of “The God Chasers” and “God’s Dream Team”. Here’s a quote from “The God Chasers”:

My life changed forever on the October weekend in Houston, Texas, when God’s presence invaded the atmosphere like a thunderbolt and split the podium at the Sunday service.
Chapter 6, page 83.

In “God’s Dream Team” he says:

There have always been dreamers. Men and women who catch a glimpse of something beyond themselves who dare to reach for goals and visions … Yet no earthly dreamer can match the greatest of them all, the Dreamer who died on the cross to make His dream a reality. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word.” The literal meaning of logos, the original Greek term translated as “Word,” is idea, thought or blueprint. It is an ancient Greek theatrical term describing the work of a playwright as he conceives, or dreams up, the plot of a play. So we could say, “In the beginning was the dream
God’s Dream Team, page 22

Did you catch that? One of the featured speakers at T. Dexter’s conference says Jesus was a dreamer. In fact, at the end he says that Jesus is the dream.

By the way, though he doesn’t exactly advertise it, Mr. Tenney is a Oneness proponent as well. Shouldn’t be surprised though. After all, T. Dexter is a Oneness preacher too. But neither of these guys has ‘nads to say so. After all, people aren’t quite stupid enough to completely ignore the fact that he denies one of the central tenets of Christianity. They’re getting there, but they’re not there just yet.. And as you would expect, Tenney’s theology is just as screwed up as T. Dexter’s.

Then there’s the woman preacher, Bishop Dr. Cynthia James. I can just see it now. T. Dexter has been busy feminizing men for the last ten years. Now he brings in a woman to ramp up the feminization efforts even more. And of course, she has ties, through folks like Dave Copeland (an up and coming Word of Faith fellow out of Texas [of course], to Fred Price, the Apostate Apostle of Word of Faith poison.

Ken Ulmer runs a church out of an old coliseum in Los Angeles. And during the week, to pay for the place, he rents it out to various rock groups and other performers of…uh…questionable character. He’s also the guy who, several years ago, came up with the book “A New Thing,” in which he proposes that many of the unbiblical practices and teachings he and his ilk are promoting are not wrong. They are simply new. Thus the non-stop screeching and hollering during that which they call worship are something new, not something stupid. Of course you wouldn’t expect an associate of T. Dexter to be any better at understanding God than the man the world is trying to give us to be the next great theologian of the church.

But enough of these clowns. Let’s take a look at one of my favorite pimps – Fast Eddie Long.

Fast Eddie is working a slightly new angle now. Here’s a shot from Fast Eddie’s web page What’s one of the first things you notice about it? Time’s up!!

That’s right! As usual, the entire site content focuses on Fast Eddie. There is a mention of God in Fast Eddie’s note to you. But that’s it. The rest of the stuff is Fast Eddie’s name, Fast Eddie’s picture, information about conferences featuring Fast Eddie or his wife, Mrs. Fast Eddie.

I’ve been watching some of Fast Eddie’s “sermons” lately. And though I have to fight the urge to whisper “Watch this! Watch this!” when I give a briefing at work, I’m going start on summarizing some of the poisoned pabulum and heresies he has been developing over the last year.

The man isn’t simply a pimp. He is a pimp’s pimp. In fact, I think he should get rid of the remodeled Benz he drives and start tooling around in this car. It fits his character and his scams much better. And yes, you’re right, that’s Ron O’Neal’s car from Super Fly (a movie that was out back when I had hair on the top of my head).

Stay away from these pimps. Stay away from anyone associated with these pimps. Any pastor who would associate with these men and women is either too stupid to understand that they are hurting you or they are too greedy to care about your spiritual health. And either of those possibilities says you need to find another church before you are dragged down into heresy, futility, and foolishness. If you want a sign indicating wether or not you should leave a church, look at the events schedule in your church program or the bulletin board and see who your elders are associating with. And if any of these pimps’ names appear there, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

Eddie Long, Fred K. C. Price, Pulpit Pimps, T. Dexter Jakes | 64 Comments »

Apparently the Holy Spirit uses the internet to inspire Fast Eddie.

Right after the Virginia Tech massacre, Fast Eddie walked into the sanctuary and stated that the Holy Spirit had a message for them. He (Fast Eddie, not the Holy Spirit) then proceeded to preach a message he called “Act of Man or Act of God?” But apparently, the message didn’t come from the Holy Spirit. It came from Sermons.com. This according to the Atlanta Constitution Journal. (more…)

Eddie Long, Pulpit Pimps | 132 Comments »

I love these guys and gals! They always have a slick and pseudo-biblical way to separate you from your hard earned cash. And if your family takes a hit, no problem.

A reader drew my attention to Fast Eddie and his annual scheme. Just out of curiosity, wondering if Paula Pimpette was still doing her first fruits thing, I hopped over to her site. It turns out that she has changed up and at the moment is cashing in on a Passover/Easter scam.

But first , Fast Eddie, the man who made upwards of three million dollars from a charitable organization he “managed.” (more…)

Eddie Long, Paula White, Pulpit Pimps | 153 Comments »

Let’s compare:

To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ… (Eph 3:8 From Paul, the man who was used by God to write most of the New Testament Letters)

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me–to keep me from exalting myself! (2 Cor 12:7)

“It is He who comes after me, the thong of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie.” (John 1:27 From John the Baptist, the man Jesus described as the greatest of the prophets)

Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock. (1 Peter 5:1-3)

But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. (Gal 6:14)

Now, let’s take a look at the statements and attitudes of some of the mega-churches. (Okay, not some. Let’s look specifically at Fast Eddie.)

“I am looked at as one of the churches fathers. One of God’s CEO’s.” (Bishop Eddie Long, The Empowerment of Kings, 2/10/2002)

“We’re not just a church, we’re an international corporation,” Long said. “We’re not just a bumbling bunch of preachers who can’t talk and all we’re doing is baptizing babies. I deal with the White House. I deal with Tony Blair. I deal with presidents around this world. I pastor a multimillion-dollar congregation. You’ve got to put me on a different scale than the little black preacher sitting over there that’s supposed to be just getting by because the people are suffering.” (Eddie Long discussing his compensation package to the Atlanta Constitution Journal, August 28, 2005)

Now take a look at this video (I love YouTube). It’s kind of long, but you can get the picture by viewing just a few minutes of it. I wouldn’t want to subject you to any more than that. You have to go to YouTube to watch it. Apparently the poster doesn’t want to give us the convenience of tying back to the posting.
Finally, see if you can imagine Paul, Peter, or John doing something like this. Click here. That’s right! It’s a Fast Eddie “Watch This” trinkets catalog.

Of course if you have a friend who is feeling a little down and out and needs some encouragement, you can send them a “Watch This e-spirational E-Card. I wanted to see what I would get so I sent myself one. This is what I got. Click here. I think I would rather have gotten a card with a picture of an Afircan-American Jesus, or a White European Jesus. So why am I getting a card with Fast Eddie’s face plastered on it? And why is he dressed in that stupid cardinal’s outfit?

Do you see any kind of disconnect between Fast Eddie’s attitude and the attitudes of real men of God?

This isn’t to say he doesn’t do good things. But so does Tom Cruise, the Scientologist. Besides, that’s not the issue. And we know it’s not.

Pity these men and women. They have their rewards here and now. Yeah, okay - pray for them too. I’d hate to be one of them and have to face Jesus Christ when I die.

Thanks to Calvin for the heads up.

Eddie Long | 106 Comments »

Here’s a question for you. What do “Shake Your Moneymaker”, “P-Poppin’” and Eddie Long all have in common?

The answer: They are all a part of the world of Ludacris, the Hip Hop performer (I’m not going to dignify him with the moniker “artist” any more than I would credit a porn star with the title “actor.” (more…)

Eddie Long | 147 Comments »

The subjects of these postings are either crazy or think you are incredibly stupid.

I’m not going to talk much about this clip of Fast Eddie delivering one of his classic Eddieism. Just notice that the women in the audience were really impressed at the insight Fast Eddie was showing. Either that or they were confused beyond measure. Click here and be amazed - or depressed. I couldn’t decide which way I should go while I was watching it.

By the way, notice the network broadcasting this little clip. That’s right, it’s the Comedy Channel. Do you still want to say Fast Eddie is taking the Kingdom? Or is he helping helping to make it a joke? Romans 2:24 keeps coming to mind:

For “the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,” just as it is written.

Eddie Long | 34 Comments »

Did you ever wonder how there can be so many pimps and pimpettes in the United States, just here on the East Coast? I’ve been running this site for the better part of a year and a half and I’ve only had time to look at the bigger, more obvious pimps. But if you watch long enough, you can actually see the little pimplings being spawned by pappa pimps.

I discovered today, approving a comment for posting, that apparently, many of these pimps have mentors to help get them where they are.

And then I started thinking: “Okay, is that how it usually works? The Alpha Pimp idenifies a pimpling to nurture and help mature into a full fledged pimp.” I did a little looking around and spotted something on Fast Eddie’s site. One of the speakers is Bishop Gary Hawkins out of Rockdale County in Georgia.

Care to guess how Mr. Hawkins got to be where he is? He had Fast Eddie as his mentor. In fact, Fast Eddie ordained him as His Bishopness.

Maybe, you say with some hope, just maybe Mr. Hawkins is going to use his clout, the resources available to him through his 7,000 member church to get out there and preach the truth, to present the pure and untainted Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Don’t hold your breath. Here is an excerpt from an article from “The Common Ground News” out of Dekalb county, also in Georgia:

He is hosting his annual “Marketing Your Church For Growth” conference Nov. 6-10 and bringing renowned spiritual leaders, including Prophetess Juanita Bynum and Dr. I.V. Hilliard of New Light Christian Church, Houston , TX , to minister to other ministers and the masses during evening worship services that will be held during the conference.

Let’s see: marketing your church for growth. I think that was covered by Paul right after he fussed at Timothy for being a little shy. And look who was invited to the conference. That’s right: I. V. Hilliard and Juanita Bynum. And notice he makes the same tired promise all the other hucksters (you happy NCW?) make: Come and give me money and I will teach your something that will change your life forever or at least until next year when we hold the conference again and you get to pay $50 to attend again.

I haven’t heard a word this man has preached. But I can almost guarantee you, given the company he keeps (Cashflow Dollar, Fast Eddie, Profitess Bind’em, and others) he undoubtedly does more to keep people in material bondage and spiritual illiteracy than any country preacher trying to faithfully preach the Gospel.

And then I remembered: John K. Jenkins has openly and proudly admitted to having T. Dexter Jakes as his mentor. I guess if all goes well, John should be adding on to his memorial a couple of years after they move into the new building. I mean, hook up with Jakes, or Fast Eddie and they will show you how to turn a small group of maturing Christians into huge mass of people perennially playing at church. And of course the people who play at church are the easiest ones to pimp because they never, ever learn.

Eddie Long | 25 Comments »

You’re going to have to help me with this one.

Some of you have written, swearing I am a demon for daring to say anything about Eddie Long (aka Fast Eddie). You swear up and down that he is an anointed teacher, a stand up kind of guy, yada, yada, yada.

Well, I’m minding my own business, not even surfing the internet, when this e-mail shows up in my mail box. It’s an ad from Fast Eddie, the CEO of Club Newbirth. He’s having yet another conference. This time it’s the “Spirit and Truth” conference. And I’m thinking “Yeah, Fast Eddie and the truth. That’s a little like a prostitute and virtue. But I don’t want to compare a prostitute to Fast Eddie. It’s way too insulting to the prostitute. Click here to see a larger version of the above picture.

Think about it. Prostitutes say up front “I don’t love you. I’m only letting you screw me for the money.” It’s an awful, degrading and dehumanizing thing to do, but they are up front about it. While I may feel sorry for them and the life most of them have been trapped in, I can at least respect their honesty.

On the other hand, Fast Eddie says “I stand for the truth (thus the name of the conference). And I love the congregants. And I would as soon die as do something God would not want me to do.” Then he prostitutes the church by bringing in such heresy luminaries as Creflo Dollar, I. V. Hilliard, and the ever liberal Robert (I wish I was Norman Vincent Peale) Schuller. (Judges 2:17; 2 Chr 21:11; Jer 2:20, etc., etc.)

Fast Eddie not only prostitutes himself, the church facilities, and the congregations by inviting these clowns to speak at the church; he does great damage to the congregants by vouching for the things these mega-pimps preach. You know he’s going to take up a collection and you know Hilliard and Dollar are going to promise a hundred fold anointed breakthrough to the single moms desperate enough to show up. The women will wave their hands, jump up and down and say whatever the pimps tell them to say. Then they’ll give their money, and try to scrape up the cash to pay for the baby sitter they had to hire in order to attend the conference. And that’s if they can make it home with the hoopty they drive. In contrast, Creflo will take a limousine back to his multi-million dollar mansion and get ready for the next money making trip. A trip he will probably make in his business jet worth tens of millions of dollars.

Hmm. I guess as I think about it, the comparison to a prostitute might not be that accurate. After all, the customer pays the prostitute to let him screw her. But Fast Eddie and his bunch insist you pay them to let them screw you. And that is exactly what Israel did with the Baals, and the other false religions around them. I almost feel sorry for the people stuck in these churches; almost as sorry as I feel for the prostitutes out there plying their wares.

By the way, Tony Evans is going to be speaking there too.

Eddie Long, The Hilliards | 92 Comments »

It seems there are some real men and women in the more or less Christian world, even the liberal religious Christian world.

Last week, several students from ITC decided they didn’t want to participate in their own graduation if Reverend Edward “Fast Eddie” Long participated. Here is the article.

Thanks to several readers who let me know about this through e-mail and a couple of comments on this site.

And here is the letter the students sent to the head of the seminary. (more…)

Eddie Long | 15 Comments »

Okay, I’m puzzled. I just took a look at an announcement for an event at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. It mentions Fast Eddie’s name twice, New Birth’s name five times, and has four pictures of Fast Eddie. So is this event about Fast Eddie, New Birth, or Jesus? Oh wait, they only have Jesus’ name up there once…in small print…as a part of some goofy men’s group.

Then again, maybe his sycophants are doing this without his knowledge.

We report - you decide.

(Okay, so I didn’t think of that catchy phrase all by myself.)

Eddie Long | 20 Comments »

I was about to go to bed but decided to check my e-mail. The publicity machine run by Pimpasaurus Rex (aka Eddie Long) sent me a message. I won’t say much about it. Take a look at the play list for the Easter celebration. Click here.

Bottom left-hand side of the e-poster. You see her? Yeah, that’s Pattie “”Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” LaBelle. She’s one of the show’s performers.

But I really got a blast when I looked at some of the pre-Easter activities taking place on April 15th. We’re going to have haircuts, medical screenings, Medicare prescription coverage service and food. But my favorite activity is…well, rather than tell you, click here and try not to laugh/cry your butt off. I keep getting the image of hundreds of men, bending over and grabbing the edge of an exam table. And it’s an image I didn’t need just before I went to bed.

Eddie Long | 50 Comments »

Christianity has an interesting history. When done right, in keeping with those things Jesus would have us do, it has been a force for good in the world. When done badly, say the witch hunts of New England, the results have been anything but good.

There are those who present and practice Christianity in such a way that others can see the value of Christian living. Go to the nearest town and you will find the preacher/pastor who faithfully studies the Bible, applying it in his life and teaching it accurately and objectively to the people he pastors. I’m sure this crowd includes Kimberly’s husband in Kansas.

Then there are those who, like Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, the Right Reverend Frederick K. C. Price and T. D. Jakes do Christianity badly, and practice Christianity in such a was as to make Christianity look like nothing more than a scam aimed at the simple-minded. It’s almost as if there is a light side and a dark side to Christianity. You know, like the Star Wars stuff with the Jedi Knight who listen to the light side and Darth Vader and his buds who have succumbed to the dark side.

Take a look at the ad at the top of the post for yet another conference hosted by Eddie “Pimpasaurus” Long.

There’s Robert Schuller, a guy who just wants to get along and figures everybody is right, one way or another.

Then there’s Creflo Dollar, the probable heir apparent to Kenneth Copeland.

And right there in the crowd is I.V. Hilliard, the Turnpike Pimp from Houston.

But I was really knocked for a loop when I saw the second name on the list - Dr. Tony Evans. For years, Dr. Evans stood tall in orthodoxy. I’m not sure what happened, or when it happened, but over the last year or so he has been rubbing elbows with the Darths of the Force.

Think about this: Evans is going to be appearing on stage (I refuse to say “in church”) with Cashflow Dollar, Robert Schuller, and Eddie Long. That’s a little like hearing that Cornell West will be participating in a conference being hosted by David Duke, the former Klan Grand Wizard and avowed racist.

Try as I might, I can’t think of a good reason for Evans to join up with these clowns. For goodness sake, he’s a Dallas Theological Seminary graduate. He got a degree that really means something. And now, after ten or so years of relative fame, he apparently throws in with the pimps.

I can see it now. Eddie Long calls on young Pastor Evans and tells him about the power he can have, the things he can possess. And all he has to do is come over to the dark side.

I suspect it looked something like this (click here).

Oh, and here’s the link to Eddie’s site.

And in case you think this is a one time event, here is a link to Dr. Evans’ site advertising another event.

Eddie Long | 44 Comments »

Now I’m not saying New Birth Missionary Baptist Church (aka Club Newbirth) is just like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but it is interesting that like the JWs, these guys seem to have gotten rid of almost all of the symbols of Christianity. The JWs have Jesus crucified on a stake instead of a cross. Thus no cross. They discount the Holy Spirit as an impersonal force kind of like electricity. They changed the name of their places of worship from church building to Kingdom Hall.

The more I look at Club Newbirth, the more questions I have. But right now, I will ask whoever may wander by this site if they can tell me what, exactly, this symbol means. It’s all over New Birth. It’s plastered all over the organization’s site. The good pastor wears a huge diamond ring featuring the symbol.

What is it? What is it a symbol of? Does it mean anything or is it just a bit of Bling Bling to keep people from confusing Club Newbirth with a real church?

Eddie Long | 35 Comments »

I need your help. I just got an e-advertisement from Club New Birth. When I read the ad, I had to go back and make sure it was really from New Birth.

Here’s what I want you to do: Before you click on the thumbnails, from what you can just make out in the little images, guess which one is from Club New Birth and which is from a secular site. (more…)

Eddie Long | 13 Comments »

The following information was culled by Deb in Atlanta, one the my more productive set of ears out there in the land of the Kingdom of Kraziness, or, as she has referred to it - Club Newbirth. (more…)