I have long been convinced that all parents go to the same school and that is why they all seem to have the same frustrating responses to their children’s requests and complaints. When you were a kid you might have said “Please let me use the car. I won’t break it.” They invariably responded “I know you won’t break it because you’re not going to get the car!”

Because of the uniformity of the pimps’ methods of manipulation, statements, and general approach to their marks (also known as their congregation) I began to suspect that these men and women also attended a school, perhaps the equivalent of Pimp University (or Pimp U). Some might prefer to hold their noses and call it PU.

Well it turns out that there is such a place.

Don Meares, the Pastor and Bishop of Evangel Church, another relatively low-level pimp, but big in Prince Georges county in Maryland, hosted a couple of classes for the University. Click here to take a look at some of the course materials. And notice the titles:

1. How to Make Your Tithe Start, Stay and Grow
2. Getting the Pledge - Makin’ It Happen
3. Love Offerings, How to Increase Your Salary
4. discovering Creative Evangelism, Your Church - The Future

These clowns don’t see it as a matter of God moving on people’s hearts. Their approach is how can I make it happen? How can I get a bigger salary? How can I make people pledge and then make them pay on the pledge? And how can I manipulate people into paying their tithes instead of keeping it for themselves?

But look at what else the Bishop of Evangel is hawking in unison with Mr. Chitwood. Click here to take a look at the general agenda. But more than that, notice the approach they seem to be taking to the whole thing.

How to Double or Triple Tithes - a Proven Method. I thought the whole thing was about men and women being obedient to Christ, not responding to a technique.

How to triple your love offering. I thought the idea of moving from a salary to a “love offering” was an exercise in faith. But these clowns seem to see it as a move that is calculated to increase their salaries.

How to make your church financially wealthy. The premise here is you can preach a better sermon if you’re not stressed over the finances.

How to establish a Friends day to increase your membership drive by 60%. Again, no thought of God having anything to do with it. It’s all about what I can do to make it happen. Never mind the church growing as God brings an increase. We need to twist God’s arm just a little.

How the spiritual condition of your church may depend on the financial position. Don’t they have it a little backwards. Since when did one’s spiritual condition depend on their financial condition? Is this a reference back to the idea that money can give us peace?

But it gets better. Look at what some of the graduates of Pimp U have to say about the program. Click here to see for yourself.

But wait, it gets better. They’re also offering a millionaire program. Take a look here to see the advertising.

And better than that, take a look at some of the people who attended the seminar. Click here to see them.

Right at the top of the list is Clarence (Let’s worship in a parking lot for now) McClendon. One of the more notable attendees is John Avanzini, one of the Grand Poopahs of the Word of Faith heresies.

Remember, you are known by the company you keep. If you hang with heretics, you will become a heretic. If you sit under a known lie long enough, you will not be able to tell the truth if it jumps up and bites you on the butt.

Whatever else you get out of occasionally visiting the site, I want you to remember this: These men and women don’t care jack about you. They see you as a business opportunity, a way of enriching themselves at your expense. They even go to school (Pimp U) to learn how to more efficiently take your money and trick you into thanking them for taking it.

They depend on two things - your inability or unwillingness to read the Bible for yourself, and your ungodly, or at the very least misplaced, desire for financial prosperity.

Does God mind if I am rich? I don’t believe so. But he doesn’t want those riches chased at the expense of the truth of the Gospel. And unfortunately, the single characteristic of these pimps is exactly that, a preaching of wealth at the expense of the truth of the Gospel.

Beware of those who would market you.

By the way, if you want to do Post Graduate studies in Pimpology, there’s a school for that too. Take a look at it by clicking here.

Don Meares | 57 Comments »