Always remember – bad doctrine can result in very poor living, and a very smelly bathroom.

Recently a woman and her pastor were busted by the Juneau County Sheriff’s Department in Wisconsin. The crime? Keeping a dead body on the toilet seat in the ONLY bathroom in the house.

At this point you might ask: Why did the woman have a dead body sitting on her toilet?

The answer: Because her pastor/bishop (Alan Bushey) told her that if she prayed hard enough God would bring the woman (Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth) back to life.

Oh, and did I tell you the woman, Tammy D. Lewis, had two children ages 12 and 15 (male and female respectively). They had to use a bucket in the closet as a bathroom.

Am I saying that if you follow T. Dexter, Creflo, or a host of other pimps you might end up with a dead body on your toilet, stinkin’ up the whole house? Certainly not. But you will depart from the truth and power of the Gospel you will miss all of the blessings, the real blessings, God has provided for the believer.

Doctrine is important. Without right doctrine you cannot live the Christian life. Without right doctrine, you cannot grow in Christ; you cannot, as it says in Colossians 1:10 “…be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual understanding…and increase in the knowledge of God.” It just won’t happen.

Instead, you will get wrapped up in chasing money (while looking spiritual), rebuking Satan (while he keeps you blinded), and making your kids go to a closet to take a crap because grandma is sitting on the toilet.

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 16 Comments »

Remember - May 1, 2008 Oprah Day

Thanks to Avishalom

Christian Living | 74 Comments »

Oprah is giving a ten part class via the internet. If you want to (and you log on early enough), you can get the live stream every Monday at 9:00 pm for the next eight weeks. I sat through a podcast of the first one. I’ve downloaded the second one and am working up the energy to watch it.

At first, as I was listening to it, I thought of what I was going to say in a posting as I railed against her. But as I watched it, as I listened to Oprah’s excitement over the nonsense words coming out of Eckhart Tolle’s (toe-lee) mouth, I finally had to recognize and state unambiguously that Oprah is unsaved. And as a result of being unsaved, she is totally blind to the truth of the Gospel and blind to the absolute poverty of New Age intellectual and spiritual crap being presented by Eckhart.

Oprah asked him about the motivation for writing the book. Here is the answer he gave. Note that Oprah is more than willing to follow along.

ECKHART: And I, intellectually I couldn’t have answered, why am I writing another book? And it happened.

OPRAH WINFREY: And it happened. Were you asking life, universal energy? I don’t know. What do you call that? As a word do you – I call it “God.” What do you, what word do you use for that?

ECKHART TOLLE: Consciousness…

OPRAH WINFREY: Were you asking consciousness, were you saying, what do you want from me?

Oprah calls some mysterious consciousness “God.”

Then they start talking about the spiritual nature of flowers.

ECKHART TOLLE: Yes, like messengers. A flower is very much more fragile than a plant. It is more fleeting; ethereal, I think is the word; more ethereal. So it has less density to it than most other things. And because of the lack of density, it’s almost as if spirit could flow through it more freely.

So when you contemplate a flower without too much interference of the thinking mind; to actually truly look. This is what Jesus said, by the way. I mean in churches you’ll hear; will hear Jesus saying, “Look at the lilies of the field.”

OPRAH WINFREY (HOST): Yes.

ECKHART TOLLE And so when he said that, he wasn’t just saying, “Look at the lilies of the field.” He said, “look.”

OPRAH WINFREY: Aren’t they pretty? Yes.

ECKHART TOLLE: He said, look, you really have to look because there is something that they embody something that you also have. But because of all your anxiety about tomorrow and you’re thinking, I’m translating very freely now, what Jesus said.

OPRAH WINFREY: Yes.

ECKHART TOLLE: Why are you – these flowers are not anxious, they have no – they are not concerned about tomorrow and see how beautiful they are. How god clothes them in such beauty. And you can live like that also. So he used this natural realm and flowers to get people in touch with the dimension of depth within men.

Did you catch that? Flowers aren’t plants. They are more ethereal, less dense. And Oprah just ate it up.

Kelly called in from Illinois. Here’s a segment of the discussion:

KELLY (ILLINOIS): I had a Catholic upbringing, I married a Catholic, and we’re raising our children this way. In reading books such as Tolle’s, I’ve really, it’s really opened my eyes up to a new way of thinking; a new form of spirituality that doesn’t always align with the teachings of Christianity. So my question is to you, Oprah, how have you reconciled these spiritual teachings with your Christian beliefs?

OPRAH WINFREY: Oh, the question’s to me. I was resting knowing it was going to about – I’ve reconciled it because I was able to open my mind about the absolute indescribable hugeness of that which we call “God.” I took God out of the box because I grew up in the Baptist church and there were, you know, rules and, you know, belief systems indoctrinated.

And I happened to be sitting in church in my late 20’s and I was going to this church where you had to get there at 8:00 in the morning or you couldn’t get a seat. And a very charismatic minister, and everybody was just, you know, into the sermon. And this great minister was preaching about how great God was and how omniscient and omnipresent, and God is everything.

And then he said, and the lord thy god is a jealous god. And I was, you know, caught up in the rapture of that moment until he said “jealous.” And something struck me. And I was like, I think about 27 or 28. I was thinking God is all, God is omnipresent, God is – and God’s also jealous? God is jealous of me?

And something about that didn’t feel right in my spirit because I believe that God is love and that god is in all things. And so that’s when the search for something more than doctrine started to stir within me. And I love this quote that Eckhart has, this is one of my favorite quotes in chapter one where he says, “Man made god in his own image, the eternal, the infinite, and unnamable was reduced to a mental idol that you had to believe in and worship as my god or our god.”

She has rejected the God of the Bible because she thinks He is jealous of her. And she has substituted a harmless and impotent consciousness. Talk about being completely blind.

While I was watching the pod cast, I was wondering how an intelligent and wildly successful business woman can be so foolish as to accept the blatant drivel produced by this man.

Then I had to remind myself that Oprah can do no less than exactly what she is doing. She is unsaved. She is, according to the Bible, an enemy of God. She has been blinded by the god of this world. The Gospel is foolishness. She can’t obey the law of God and doesn’t want to obey it. She…well, you get the idea.

Watching her was actually heart breaking. It was like watching a naïve child being lied to and being too innocent to understand that the man is lying to her so he could molest her. Tolle would say such things as:

And for each a place within yourself that is unconditioned, that is what I sometimes call the formless consciousness, spirit expressed beautifully in the Old Testament in the little saying, be still and know that I am god. (Psalm 46:10) That is, and that’s in the Old Testament. It contains the entire wisdom of religion in those few words. Be still, meaning go to that place where the mind is no longer operating. You are just conscious without thinking. And that is the level where the eternal resides. So the eternal, the formless, the spirit is the essence of every human being.

So why didn’t he pick John 14:6, in which Jesus says “I am the way and the truth and the life, and no one comes to the Father (not a consciousness) but through me”? That pretty well sums up Christianity.

In all seriousness, I suggest we pray for this woman. More than that, I would like to get a “Day of Prayer and Fasting for Oprah” going. She really can’t help herself. And at the rate she’s going, when she dies, she will spend an eternity in hell. That is, after a million years have gone by, she will still be in torment.

I suggest we make May 1, May Day, “Pray for Oprah Day.” It could only benefit her. And hey, she just might turn that huge financial and executive power into a force of Godliness. I’ll be a guest on “The Pastor’s Corner” this out of Sacramento this Friday night. The feedback I got from them so far was very positive. We will likely talk it up and see what develops around the web and around the Christian community.

As you know, I normally don’t even try to suggest that this or that person be prayed for. Most of the people who appear on this site, in these posts, are active and aggressive leeches, sucking the life from foolish and ignorant Christians. Most of them know what they are doing is wrong. Oprah, on the other hand, really doesn’t have a clue. She is indeed like a kid, eager to believe a lie. Wouldn’t it be an amazing sight if the Big O came on her show and announced that she had been wrong all these years? Hey, it happened to King Nebuchadnezzar. Why not Queen Oprah?

And if you’re feeling especially generous, you might even toss up a prayer or two for Eckhart.

Christian Living | 106 Comments »

I’ve seen men faint during the wedding ceremony. I’ve seen a couple of men cry. I’ve even seen men stop the whole thing and walk/run away. But I have to say I have not seen a guy get so…uh…so…carried away during the ceremony. You think maybe he began to understand and marvel at the true gift that God gives us in our wives?

You gotta wonder what the first night was like though.

A tip of the hat for the reminder from Jahnea, by the way.

Christian Living | 155 Comments »

Folks, this evening at 6:00 pm eastern time, we’re having another teleconference Bible Study.

The topics are as follows:

#1: What happens to babies & the mentally disabled when they die?

#2: Does the NT Christian still need Pastors to teach them in the church?

Give the number a call and join in or, if you just aren’t that comfortable with the whole thing, lurk and listen.

To get in on the conference:

Telephone Number To Call: (605) 475-4333

Participant’s Access Code: 339865#

Christian Living | 127 Comments »

(MN: The next one is scheduled for 9 February 2008 )

Most Saturdays, starting at 6:00 pm Eastern time, the folks who brought you the Stand Up Conference in New Jersey provide a phone conference connection to allow at least 150 callers to participate.

The last one, last Saturday, covered a number of topics including Christians suing Christians and Divorce. The discussion was lively, far ranging, and, I believe, helpful in fleshing out a Biblical perspective on the issues.

The phone conference begins at 6:00 pm on Saturday. If you want to join the fray (or just sit and listen to the rest of the talkers, call this number and type in the access code.

Telephone number to link to the conference (605) 475-4333
Access code: 339865# (please hit the pound key after entering the code)

It’s free. That’s right - Free. You can join in when you want, leave when you wish, speak if you want or lurk in real-time. And it doesn’t cost you anything, not even your secret identity.

Christian Living | 22 Comments »

(MN: Special Note - The next conference call will be held on 9 February, not this coming Saturday )

I like to use illustrations in the stuff I do, both here on the site and in teaching in general. I think I have an illustration that may help. I don’t wish to embarrass the person who wrote in (in fact I have already forgotten his or her name), but the request they made was too great an opportunity to make a point to let it pass unnoticed.

I am offering a book - for free. So far I have gotten 53 requests for the book. Each book costs me $4.00. Shipping is $2.07 for each book. That’s $6.07 per book. Or, for you Pentecostals out there, that’s $303.50 for the whole batch. And this isn’t counting the cost of shipping to get the books from 9Marks to my house.

I got a request that asked me to not only send a book to the requesting individual, but to please send one to a friend of their’s. At first, I considered it, not wanting to pay too much attention to the cost. But as I thought about it, I decided not to send the book out to the reader’s friend.

Do any of you know why I decided not to send the book to the reader’s friend?

Sorry, you took too long to answer.

One of the things I am trying to promote is the idea of YOU taking responsibility for your training, your decisions, and your work in the Kingdom. I urge you to walk away from the pimps who would attempt to convince you that they are the very voice of God, giving you direction in your life. I argue, cajole, jump up and down, holler, and reason in order to get you to see that you can and should do those things God would have us to do in order to promote the Kingdom of God. And sometimes (maybe even all the time) the work is going to require sacrifice. As Robert Heinlein, one of my favorite authors has pointed out: “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” Everything costs someone something.

What do you suppose that person who wants to get the book into the hands of a friend should do? That’s right!!! That person should go buy one and…now watch this, I know it’s not always something we think about…and GIVE it to their friend. Yes, the person who asked for a second book should be willing to make the sacrifice (about $8 if they order in through Amazon.com) and have the book delivered to their friend’s house.

If, after you read this book, you are as sure as I am that it is on the mark, and you want to have someone else read it, BUY A COPY FOR THEM, give it to them and have them read it.

If you think there are other books, or other events you believe would profit your friend with respect to spiritual maturity, sacrifice and pay for it for them. And expect nothing in return.

Most of us have, unfortunately, been so immersed in the usual definition and description of Christianity and the supposed role of the pastor, that we have forgotten not only how to act in obedience to the Spirit of God on our own, we have have virtually forgotten the very concept of acting on our own. Someone else has to do for us or tell us what we should do. At least so we think.

YOU are the church, not the building, not the pastor, not the deacon board or the evangelist. You should be going out and telling others about the Church and about Jesus Christ. And it will cost you to do that. Sometimes it will cost actual money (like buying a book) and sometimes it will cost you personally, in relationships, and in other ways.

Don’t expect me to do for you. If you want to get one of these books into the hands of a friend, then YOU should be the one to put it in his or her hands. To do less is to duck your responsibility as a Christian.

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 15 Comments »

(MN: It’s probably operator error [I’m the operator], but I was wrong. I still can’t quite get into my e-mails. Continue to make your requests through the comments. I won’t publish any of your addresses. We’re up to forty-five, by the way. )

(MN: Mail’s up! My VOWM says I have a back-up of 400 e-mails. Most of it is spam, but I’m sure some of it is requests for the book. By the way - we are up to about forty books so far. I should be mailing the majority of them out this week end. Once the supply is gone, I’ll start saving up some money to buy some more. I buy them in lots of 72 so I can get a slight cut on the price. )

(MN: Special note - The Pimp-mail is still down. My VOWM is working it, but the fact is it’s taking a while. If you want a book, go ahead and send me a comment. I will cull the addresses and delete the comments. )

(MN: After a week and a half hiatus, I am again making the offer of a free book - free, as in it doesn’t cost you anything, not even postage. Free, as in you don’t have to spend a dime. I still have 72. Neither the site nor e-mail were available to receive requests. Oh, if you give me the mailing address in the comments, I will make sure the address doesn’t get posted.

Hurry. Supply is, as they say, limited. )

One of the things this site attempts to do is warn you about the pimps out there waiting to take your money, shipwreck your faith, and build a huge monument to their egos. I constantly point out the indicators of their pimpishness. I give you examples, from their own sites and their own mouths, of their pimping ways. And I make it a point to name names so you can avoid them.

I’d like to start a second phase to this operation. And that phase is to let you know what you should look for in a healthy church. And what to look for really isn’t that hard to spot. Most of the time you can see the signs (or their lack) with one or two visits to the typical church.

A fellow by the name of Mark Dever has written a book entitled “What is a Healthy Church” previously “Nine Marks of a Healthy Church.” And in this book, he lays out some of the more important, and not always intuitively obvious, characteristics a church should have. Many of you have asked “Can you tell me where there is a church that isn’t pimping people?” The information in this book allows you to equip yourself to go out and identify the environment you need to grow in Christ.

Since this is not associated with the Melvinite Temple of Higher Happenings and Magnificent Structures organization or events, I’m not even going to charge you for shipping and handling.

In order to get this book into your hands, in order to equip you to defend yourself - and even guide you if you are with a group “evolving” into a church, I’m want to send you a copy of the book, free. That’s right - free. Send me an e-mail (click on the “Contact” link to see the e-mail address) with your address/PO box/whatever you feel comfortable supplying, and I will send you a copy of the book - for free. Of course, if God tells you to send me a thousand dollars, no wait - if he tells you to send me five thousand dollars, then ignore what I just said, send the money on in and get ready for your breakthrough as you watch God - - Oops. Sorry, I got carried away.

The book is a quick, easy read. But I suggest you read it through and then go back and read it more slowly a second or even third time. It will make you look at what you consider to be the characteristics of a healthy church. And it will let you see the challenge that every Christian is called to face with respect to the Gospel, the Body, and Christian living. Oh, and right now, I only have 72 of the books. I will make shipments every Saturday until I run out of books. Then I will have to scrape up the money to buy some more for mailing.

Once this posting has run its course here, I will make it a page so that it will stay somewhat visible. If you like, I will also attempt to keep a running total of the number of books I have sent out.

Christian Living | 89 Comments »

(The good Passah and LarryD have been corresponding by e-mail. Lawrence has been trying to get the good Passah to defend and explain some of his statements, statements the good Passah said he would explain in essays on his website. I visited the web site. So far all he has presented is a somewhat mixed summary of that which is sometimes referred to as being filled with the Holy Spirit. However, the real meat, the real indicator of where the good Passah is spiritually is reflected in his correspondence, not his ability to reproduce what someone else has written. You know - walking the walk and not just talking it.

You may not be able to read the entire e-mail - and that’s fine. My main interest here is for you to see how he attempts to deal with those who would disagree with him. Again, if you can’t muster the energy or stomach to read the entire post, my feelings will not be hurt. I just want to get the good Passah out of our system once and for all, at least for this thread. His involvement in future threads will be decided much more quickly. (more…)

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 94 Comments »

I know many of you naysayers out there were betting that I wouldn’t get to a report on the Standup conference in Newark New Jersey before the end of the month. Well, I worked extra hard to make sure you lost the bet.

Before I go on, I must commend Tim Butler for making the entire event possible. Most, if not all of the cost of the event came right out of his pocket. And he did it with a smile and a welcoming attitude (click here) .

The jet I used to get to the conference is pictured above. Pay no attention to the markings on the tail. It’s purely coincidental that Continental Airlines has a symbol that is so similar to my own. I bought a used stair system and I never got around to removing Continental’s logo.

I actually got to Newark on Thursday, 29 November. Once I got to the hotel, I connected with Saiko Woods and his wife. The three of us, using a van graciously supplied by Tim, drove to the Standup radio studio and participated in the broadcast.

The next day, several of us ended up in the hotel restaurant for lunch and coffee. While there, we were joined by Matthew, a fairly recent escapee (a refugee if you will) from Fast Eddie’s church. Here’s a photo of the gathering. Matthew is on the left, then it’s Shawn Scott, Tyris Horton and Saiko Woods, one of the speakers at the conference. Saiko is also an assistant pastor for a church in Houston.

The conference started on time that evening. Sean did a presentation of the fear of God, and I have to say it was awful. Instead of making me feel good about myself, Sean’s presentation encouraged me to examine myself, my behavior, my attitudes and commitments. He never promised me a breakthrough of any kind. At the break I walked out of there feeling as though I had to be holy just because God is holy.

Saiko gave an excellent presentation on the sovereignty of God. I believe one of the best remedies for the Word of Faith crap out there is a strong, true teaching on the sovereignty of God.

The next day, John Coleman out of California () presented a lecture on the Diaprax. This sounds like a very boring topic, but you have to understand, the Diaprax is at the heart of the methods used to promote the heresies and promote the pimpings that we see in the mega-churches.

John Coleman

I spoke with many of the people attending the conference. One of the interesting aspects of the people is that most of them were escapees from some of the very churches I discuss on the site.

I also got pictures of me with many of the speakers and Standup Ministry participants. Click here to see a picture of Shawn Scott and me.

Unfortunately, the fellow who took the photo wasn’t very good at using a camera. He ended up cutting off over half my face.

I have to say that I was (if you tell anyone I said this I’ll deny it) really blessed by what I saw and what I heard from the people who attended. I have to admit that sometimes I feel like I’m spitting into the wind. They made it clear that I am making at least a small difference with Pulpit-Pimps.

Christian Living | 15 Comments »

We’ve commented a few times about “The Essentials.” Some have written in and said the very idea of essentials is something the Body disagrees on. And I have to admit that this is a true statement. One site (The Apologetics Information Ministry ) says there are five. Then it lists Cardinal doctrine, tertiary doctrine, and peripherals. Another ministry says there are ten essential doctrines of the faith . They run from the the inerrancy of Scripture to Sin. Still a third lists 4. But one of the questions most of the sites and the folks commenting on this site never answer is: Essential to what? (more…)

Christian Living | 190 Comments »

In two days the Stand Up Conference starts in Newark New Jersey at the Robert Treat Hotel.

But I thought you’d like to know that one of the speakers, Saiko Woods (a relative no-name out of Texas who is working to feed the sheep and not his bank account - which of course is why he is a relative no name) is going to be a guest on the ministry’s radio program on Thursday (29 November). The show starts at 6:30. If you’re in the tri-state area you should be able to hear the broadcast on 970 AM Radio (WMCA) out of Newark. And you can listen to the broadcast live through the link on Stand Up’s website.

Perhaps we will be able to get a preview of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday during the broadcast.

Oh yeah - I will likely be in studio on Thursday as well. It should be an interesting half hour. I’ll try to keep my mouth shut and stay out of trouble.

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 3 Comments »

Grandmothers carry a bragging book, a set of pictures of their grandchildren to show other people - ALL other people, even strangers in line at the grocery store. Grandfathers, on the other hand, are much more restrained and efficient. We don’t show one or two people at a time. We go for maximum results with minimum effort.

It’s been almost six months since the little munchkin (Avery Jones) was born and he’s actually developing a personality.

And he drools. A lot.

Christian Living | 23 Comments »

Many of you will natter on about the pimps being Mend of Gawd because they do good things like feed the homeless, or help people improve their lives. I of course respond by pointing out that doing good things is not proof that a person is a Christian. The proof of the pudding, so to speak, is in their fruit , in their doctrine. (Matt 7:15-23) Do they profess Jesus Christ, crucified, resurrected, and their Lord? If they don’t, it doesn’t matter how many nice things they do.

As most of you know, this website is primarily concerned with warning the sheeple out there about the pimps, pimples, and pimplettes out to take your money and basically keep you from God. However, one of the folks I discuss every once in a while, is Oprah, the New Age Priestess. (more…)

Christian Living | 43 Comments »

This coming Friday (30 November 2007) is the start of the Stand Up Conference in New Jersey. Click on the image to visit Stand-Up’s site.

Here’s the location. Click on the hotel name for a map.

The Robert Treat Hotel
50 Park Pl.
Newark, New Jersey 07102
(973) 622-1000

And here’s the schedule for the three days.

Friday , 30 November
A bit of music
Standing Up , Sean Isaacs (New York)
The Sovereignty of God , Saiko Woods (Texas)
Question and answer period
(By the way, I’ll be the Master of Ceremonies for the evening. I’m thinking of wearing my pimp suit with my pimp stick accessory, but I haven’t quite decided.)

Saturday , 1 December
A bit of music
Fire and Brimstone , Saiko Woods
Pressing Toward the Mark , Bob Miller (New York)
The Wrath of God , John Coleman (Los Angeles)

Sunday , 2 December
A bit of music
Hermaneutics and the Dialectic , John Coleman (By the way, this is where you really learn to be pimp proof)

As one of the hosts of Stand Up Ministry said - bring your Bible, paper, and a pencil. Oh, and leave your dancing shoes at home.

Christian Living | 18 Comments »