Here’s a question from Angela. It is, I believe a very good question.

I have a question for everyone. The churches that many of you attend or have attended, did you get anything, and I mean anything out of your spirituality, whether or not, the pastor was an heretic. For example, the church I used to attend, though I have learned that being slain in the spirit, cutting a rug more square yards than the rest of the congregation, or speaking in tongues is not necessary for your salvation, I’ve learned forgiveness, self-control, and leaving that New Age stuff alone. I’ve even learned more things about myself. I am also aware that all of this is the grace and mercy of God. Can any of you weigh the good, bad, and ugly in your spiritual situation with your church?

Here is a very good response from Righter (Hey Righter! I haven’t heard from you in a long time.) (more…)

Christian Living | 330 Comments »

Recently, I’ve been covering Jenkins more than normal. But it’s all part of the month long celebration of the sheeple moving into the Mausoleum, Museum and Memorial over in Kettering, MD. This will likely be the last posting for a while. This one is a little long, but I think it will be a profitable read in that it will lay out some of the techniquest the pimps use to bind the people they use.

As an uninvited participant in the celebrations, I went out to the church almost a month ago and actually bought the CD of the September 23, 2007 evening worship, communion service, and general railing against the nay sayers who are apparently still there trying to bring some spiritual reason to the religious chaos.

It was quite impressive to listen to John talk the sheeple into believing that his voice was the only voice they are to listen to and that they were not to disagree with whatever it is he is telling them. I wish I could train my boss that well. Heck, it’d be great if I could train my children like that. (more…)

John K. Jenkins, Sr. | 101 Comments »

Running this site gets better and better. As more people visit and take an interest in the information I present here, the more eyes I have available, seeing the pimps at work, hearing the things they say, watching the things they do.

As you know, Joel Osteen (aka Willow Boy) has been on a rash of talk shows, news shows, and other information outlets. In fact, Willow Boy is all over the place. One reader sent me an e-mail with a copy of a page from an Osteen follower’s website. I also got the web site address. Here is the link to the site (Willow Boy Paraphernalia). If you visit the site you can get “I Watch Joel Osteen” lapel pins and bumper stickers. Here’s a picture of it.

According to the site owner, wearing one of these pins gives you the perfect opportunity to tell people about Willow Boy and when they can watch him. Hmmm. Did I miss something? I always thought the various witnessing tools were to let us ambush people with information about Jesus Christ.

I could go into a major rant here and rail against the guy that sponsors the IWJO site (it’s not Willow Boy of Lakewood Church). But I don’t guess there would be much point in that. Besides, when I rooted around on the site, I discovered that these guys are spiritual morons and they know they are spiritual morons. Once I ran up my NSA/CIA/FBI approved, super-duper hacking equipment (I bought it at radio shack about three weeks ago), I was able to hack into a couple of sections of their server they haven’t made public just yet. What do you think I found there?

That’s right! More lapel pins. But these pins seem to be a little more honest than the first one. Take a look at them below.

This first one is the “I Refuse To Think” pin. It’s for those folks who want to make sure everyone knows that they have no clue as to the need to be able to give an reason for the hope that lies within us. They are quite happy to smile, tell you to have a blessed day, and talk about being blessed and highly favored.

Ah yes. This is the pin for folks who are perhaps one step up from the IRTT pin wearers. It’s the “I’m a WoF Weenie” pin. This is a favorite of the folks who think that Willow Boy preaches deep truths and tell themselves everyday that God wants them to be rich. It still has nothing to do with the Bible, but wearing the pin keeps the wearer feeling good about himself.

This is one of my favorite, and perhaps most honest pins. It’s for people who are tired of trying to explain why, if they are Christians, they haven’t memorized any Bible verses, never talk about Jesus Christ, and always seem to be talking about improving themselves rather than speaking of God transforming their minds, renewing their hearts, and practicing the mortification of the flesh. It’s the “I Follow Joel, Not The Bible” pin

This pin was on a page that the owners figured a few fundamentalist wacko fanatics would be willing to go to. They’re not counting on selling very many of them and they pretty much held their noses when they produced them. I guess the folks who run the website figured there wouldn’t be many people asking for the “I Read The Bible” pin. But at least they made a few.

Pulpit Pimps | 77 Comments »

As most of you know, I try always to makes sure the information I put out here is well documented. I miss it sometimes, but for the most part, if I post it, I am satisfied it is not simply a rumor or some juicy tidbit.

A couple of days ago someone said a definition for creflomania was in the dictionary. And without thinking about it, I posted the comment.

Fortunately, when I actually checked the dictionary, it turns out the reader was correct. Click on the thumbnail and be as amazed as I was when I saw it.

I knew Creflo was big and influential, but I didn’t think he had the horsepower to actually change the English language this fast.

Dr. Creflo Dollar | 73 Comments »

(MN: Our favorite lightweight of the COGIC circuit, Little Stevie Wonder, put up a posting a couple of weeks ago. In it, he promoted that hysterical heretic Creflo Dollar. As a result, because he had way too much time on his hand, GaryV took a trip to Tennessee and sat in on one of the sessions at LSW’s church. He was suprised to find that it looked so much like “Wheel of Fortune. The only thing missing was Vanna.

We join the game already in progress. )

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the newest gameshow sensation sweeping the church,Creflo Dollar’s “WHEEL……….OF………….HERESY”!!

“That’s right folks, it’s the gameshow where the Bible is up for grabs and the stakes are eternal. I’m your host, Stephen F. Smith.” (wild applause, whistling)

“Now for our first contestant, say “Hello” to Mr. Reed D. Bible, a committed Christian missionary of over 35 years service to the Body of Christ in the foreign field.” (light smattering of applause).

“And once again, give a warm “Wheel Of Heresy” welcome to our returning champion who has won over $666,000 in Cashflo blessings and increase, Mr. Dustin DeWind.” (hearty applause mixed with tongues and animal noises).

“Now,you all know how the game is played. Just spin the Wheel Of Heresy and the pointer will stop on a specific Biblical doctrine. The player who correctly defines that doctrine will win the Cashflo Dollar Amount on that space and will get a chance to solve the puzzle on the Big Board.

“Before the show we cast lots to see who would go first,and Reed won. So give the Wheel your best spin Reed.”

Reed D. Bible: “Thanks Stephen!!”(whir whir whir…….)

LSW: “OK ,the Wheel has stopped on “The Nature Of Man.” Here’s the question……..”What is man’s relationship to his Creator??”

Reed: “Well Stephen,the Bible makes it clear that man is inherently depraved due to sin, and therefore we are separated from God.We are subordinate to and dependent upon Christ as our only hope of salvation.”

LSW: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo, sorry Reed. That’s incorrect. Dustin, you get a shot at it.”

Dustin DeWind: “Well Stephen, man is equal with God, is actually a little god himself, and can create from nothing just like God by using the principles of faith.”

LSW: “CORRECT!!! That’s $150 Cashflo Dollars to you Dustin!! Care to take a shot at the puzzle on the Big Board?”

Dustin: “No,not yet. I want to build up my Cashflo Cash first.”

LSW: “A brilliant strategy Dustin”.

Reed. D. Bible: “Wait a minute……..the Bible doesn’t say anything LIKE that.”

WA-WA-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……..

LSW: “OH, sorry Reed. You set off the Pharisee Finder. That’ll cost you your Lightning Round Money Cometh Anointing.Now Reed, don’t close your spirit to new revelation. You gotta get past the letter. It’s your spin.”

Reed:“Errrr…..OK.” (whir whir whir).

LSW: “The Wheel has stopped on “Biblical Characters”. Here’s the question…….”Why did John The Baptist get his head cut off??”

Reed: “Because he stood against the evil of his day embodied in Herod Antipas, and God in His Sovereignty determined that John’s course was run and that this death would serve to most glorify The Savior. The Bible warns that all who will live Godly in Christ will suffer persecution and that we must be faithful even unto death.”

LSW: “Oh,too bad. That’s incorrect. Dustin, the question goes to you.”

Dustin DeWind: “Well Stephen, the Bible promises us wealth and happiness and long life if we work the principles of faith, so obviously John The Baptist lacked the faith to get out of jail and live and prosper.”

LSW: “WOW!! You’re on FIRE today Dustin!! That’s another $500 in Cashflo Cash!! Ready to hit the Big Board??”

Dustin DeWind: “One more round first………I’m looking for Increase!!”

Reed D. Bible: “WAIT JUST A MINUTE…….the Bible says that among those born of women, no man was greater than John the Baptist in his prophetic office. How can you say he lacked faith?? What about the faithful in Hebrews 11 that suffered persecution, hunger, lack, poverty, and death??”

LSW: “Did you hear something Dustin??”

Dustin DeWind: “Nope.”

LSW: “Me neither. Dustin,this is the final round and the last spin is yours because you have answered all questions in a Creflologically correct manner, and Reed has forfeited due to his Pharisaical attitude and lack of love. Spin the Wheel Of Heresy and try to get the largest amount of Cashflo Cash, then if you solve the puzzle you get all the Cash PLUS one hundred-fold increase. ”

Dustin DeWind: “Praise Creflo Stephen!! (whir whir whir)

LSW: “WHOA THERE!!! Your faith and anointing must be at an all time high!! Those Cashflo tapes are really paying off…………you hit the $50,000 spot!! Even after your mandatory 10% (plus love offering) to Creflo, that’s some REAL money!! But first you must solve the puzzle on the Big Board!!”

Dustin DeWind: “Well, here goes Stephen……..errrrr……errrrr……errrrrrrr……..

LSW: “Problem Dustin??”

Dustin DeWind: “Well, it’s just I don’t recognize this particular Scripture. Are you sure it’s in the Bible??”

LSW: “Time’s running down……….5-4-3-2-1 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! “OHHHHHHHH………sorry Dustin. You didn’t solve the Big Board, and your reign as champion is over. Can we turn around all the letters and see the Big Board puzzle?”

2 Peter 2:1 “But there were also false prophets in Israel, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will cleverly teach their destructive heresies about God and even turn against their Master who bought them. Theirs will be a swift and terrible end. 2 Many will follow their evil teaching and shameful immorality. And because of them, Christ and his true way will be slandered. 3 In their greed they will make up clever lies to get hold of your money. But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction is on the way.”

LSW: “Well, thank you all for tuning in to WHEEL……..OF…….HERESY!! Buh Bye now!!!”

Dustin DeWind: “No!! WAIT!! I’ve never seen that verse in my Creflo Dollar Study Bible!! WAIT!! WAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!”

Announcer: “This was Wheel Of Heresy, a CrefloDollar Production brought to you by our friends at Oral Roberts University. ORU…….home of the world’s only soft,fluffy,two-ply Doctorates on a roll.”

(MN: I got an e-mail from a pathetic who follows after Creflo and the rest. He spent a significan amount of electrons telling me that all we are supposed to do is love and that I am being prideful and judgmental. He further said that Creflo and the rest of the pimps are teaching the same foundation as the rest of us and that we should leave them alone. I’m simply being driven by arrogance and pride.

These pimps are doing people grave damage, putting most in danger of the very hell-fire they never preach about. Think about it - when’s the last time you heard Creflo preach about hell? )

Dr. Creflo Dollar, Pulpit Pimps | 149 Comments »

Just a quick post to let you know about a fellow who is doing more than simply shouting against the darkness. He is, so to speak, lighting a candle. He is announcing a conference on his site “Blaque Tulip” (Get it? TULIP, Black, reformed? Never mind. Go to the site and give the article a read.

Pastor Lance and his associates are presenting a conference (one that he doesn’t say will be life changing, etc., etc., etc. and that he will likely not tell any of the attendants to turn to their neighbors and tell them ANYTHING) on the Gospel.

The neat thing is that he is offering to pay for lodging and registration for two people if they can’t afford it.

Take a look at the site, drop him an e-mail, and pray about it.

Christian Living | 274 Comments »

I love this woman!

This video presents a distillation of why Christianity is being pimped in the Black community.

How many people, Black or White, call themselves Christians and live pretty much any way they want? How many people party on Friday and Saturday (into the wee hours) and then drag themselves to church to listen to some pimp tell them that they’re not the tail, but they’re the head? How many of them sit comfortably in a church building listening to the preacher as he completely ignores the essentials of the faith - holiness, obedience, self-denial, discipline and all those other uncomfortable things?

Listen to these to men as they get trapped in their own words and react like a couple of deer in headlights. While it’s sad to think that these two dudes actually represent the norm within American Christianity, it was hilarious to watch them try to talk their way out of their own foolish words. And the interesting thing is that they mouth the same word most of the pimp enablers spout here on this site.

If you click on the image, it will take you to the site.

I want this woman to marry my son - my single son.

Christian Living | 98 Comments »

Yes, I know I said I would not send any more traffic to LSW’s site. But I was surfing while waiting for the rice to finish cooking and went by his site. I go there maybe once a week to see what’s going on. I have his bookmark in a folder labeled “Useless Preachers.”

I had thought there was some hope for LSW. I thought perhaps as he matured and understood the responsibility he and his elders have toward the people under their care, he would actually pay attention. But I guess not.

He seems, instead, to be getting worse and moving further out into the territory of Pimposity.

Take a look at the bloke he’s actively promoting.

Yeah, that’s right. Cashflow.

Pulpit Pimps | 32 Comments »

You have to admire these guys. They are, if nothing else, creative in the things they do to encourage us to give them our money. I’m on the mailing list for two pimps; one is an up and coming pimp (also know as a pimplet, or just pimple for short) and the other is one of the official Big Dogs of the Pimp Cup Circuit.

As you may or may not know, for about a year I was going into an office to work three days a week. The rest of the time was spent (ostensibly) getting a copywriting business up and running. But never mind about that. The point is I would have the opportunity to watch a little more television than I would normally have if I were gone five days a week and not getting home until 6 or later in the evening.

I got to see more of I. V. Hilliard than I have ever wanted to see. I even got to watch him tell us about the special programs he’s running to bless our lives. Apparently, in a sovereign act, God moved me to call up the number on the screen and ask for my package.

About that same time, I ran across Samuel Onuoha, some guy out of Nigeria from the sound of his last name. I guess we’re just trying to make sure we have a balanced Pimp exchange between the two countries. We send them the Right Reverend Jamal-Harrison Bryant to consume their country and they send us trinket masters and witch doctors to consume portions of ours. Again God moved me to dial the number and leave my address and other essentials.

You’ve seen I. V.’s church on TV. It’s impressive. Carpeted, pictures of them all over the place. He wears nice suits (okay , they’re expensive suits that you’d never catch me wearing) and has a HUGE crowd hanging on his every word.

Your boy Samuel? His church doesn’t look that impressive. In fact, I believe the space in back of him is even lacking room for a choir. He just has a show on The Word Network (TWN). And of course you know TWN is not as expensive or as widely seen as TBN (Terrible Bad and Noxious) and I imagine the cost to broadcast through TWN is a little less than TBN. I. V. broadcasts on TBN AND TWN.

But I’ve said all of this to point out that even though these men are at different levels in the Pimp game, they use the exact same tactics. Take a look at the letter Sammy sent me in response to my call. Click on the thumbnail.

He fills in my name all through the letter. If I were an idiot, I might even think that the letter was written to directly to me. He explains that I am in a hard place , frustrated, strapped for resources, and just not doing too well. He offers me a way to make my life better.

All I have to do is light the white candle, say the prayer he supplied, put the candle out and send it in with the form he sent me. He will then pray over the candle and light it using the big candle that contains his anointing for us. Once he does that, Gaaawwd can work His will in my life and can bless me with all the material stuff I have been wanting for a while. Oh, and to prove your faith, you have to plant a seed of faith into his ministry. The bigger the seed, the better God can see your faith.

Now, let’s compare him to Mr. Hilliard, the Pimp of the Houston Beltway.

Mr. Hilliard didn’t send me a candle. He sent me a square of gold cloth.

And his letter fills in my name throughout. He goes on to tell me that if I write on the gold cloth and fill in the “Send Me Money” form then God will be able to do wondrous things in my life. Oh, and be sure to send in a seed offering to demonstrate your faith in God. The bigger the offering, the more certain it is that you are offering in faith. And if you don’t have the money right now, you can use your credit card.

So I guess the major difference between Sammy and I.V. is the fact that I.V. can take a credit card number to make sure you give. Poor old Sammy O. has to try to talk you into really giving your last dollar.

Oh, and there was one other difference between the two. Check the spelling on the two letters. I.V. actually has a mistake in his. He says go to “…a quite place,” rather than a “quiet place” in the fourth line of the third paragraph. [Sorry folks, I left my address on the letter. Once I kill it, I’ll put it back up.] You’d think I.V. for all the money he rakes in, would be able to afford and editor who can catch a mistake like that. I mean, for goodness sake, my spelling is sometimes atroshus atrosius atrocious, and I spotted it without even looking for it.

These people are pimps, liars, and deceivers. They would have you to think that they have some special relationship with the God of the universe. They would have you believe that if you go through them, you can get goodies from God, or at least get God to act and make your life a little easier. All they are really doing is making a bad situation worse.

You need a “financial break through”? Give them some money and screw up an already hosed budget even worse.

Are you sick? Give these clowns some money and you can have your faith wrecked when nothing happens.

Are you in a bad marriage? Or your children behaving like a bunch of morons? Give these clods some money. Nothing will improve with your children, and your marriage won’t get any better, but I.V. will be able to buy that new car he always wanted. Unfortunately, things will simply continue to wind down for you because you never bothered to study the Bible and ask God for wisdom in applying it in your life.

Instead, when the site’s readers point out the scams going on here, you complain about me putting my mouth on God’s anointed. The pimps continue to take your money, treat you like fools, and look you in the face as they lie to you.

They are worse than the secular con artist. The con artist is at least honest with himself and, if caught, with his accusers. The pimps lie, consistently and aggressively. They don’t care about you. They only care about their own bellies.

Yes it’s hard work, but that is one of the reasons God tells us to work out our own salvation (Phil 2:12) rather than sitting back and waiting for some Mand of Gawd to twist God’s arm for us.

It’s also why most of us never mature as Christians since we don’t want to go through various and sundried trials. Give some money to IV and have him pray for me and God will make every thing okay. But the Bible says that we are to use the trials as a way of maturing (James 1:2-4).

Which are you going to believe , the two pimps or God?

Pulpit Pimps, The Hilliards | 137 Comments »