The results of the “Pulpit-Pimps You Might Be Getting Pimped” contest are in. They have been verified by the accounting firm Dewey, Cheatum and Howe and sent via a 1993 Ford Escort, and guarded by four scowling beefy guys to the luxurious offices of P-P.Org, located in lovely downtown Bowie, MD.
Out of 200 votes, 51 (25%) went to Eucatastrophe! Congratulations!
Voted by the readers as the best way to tell if you are being pimped:
If your pastor organizes a banquet in his own honor, charges $100 per plate, AND takes up a love offering, you might be getting pimped.
When asked what book he wanted, Eucatastrophe asked that the money to be used for a book instead be given to the Bible League. Apparently his wife read him the riot act when he told her he was going to get ANOTHER book. Hmm. Sounds kind of like my house.
Anyway, I thank Eucatastrophe for the suggestion. And in fact, I encourage you to consider contributing as well.
I submitted the contribution this morning. Here’s a scan of the e-receipt.
Thank you all again for participating in the contest.
I forget who suggested it, but I like the idea of developing the list into a poster. I’ll get on that and see what I can come up with. Ideas are welcomed.
I demand a recount!!
(MN: Done. He still wins.)
Thanks, Melvin. And thanks to all you who voted. (I am in Florida, so I guess there could be the nagging issue of hanging chads …)
hi eucatastrophe, my curiosity is getting the best of me…. please tell me what hanging chads are, because i have no idea what you mean.
For my Mav………
“Chads are paper particles created when holes are made in a paper, card or similar synthetic materials, typically computer punched tape or punch cards.
Chads were made famous in the highly contentious 2000 presidential election in the United States, where a majority in the U.S. Electoral College was determined in Florida by the counting of punch card ballots. Voters leaving incompletely-punched holes resulted in partially-punched chads, where one or more corners were still attached, or dimpled chads (also known as pregnant chads) where all corners were still attached, but an indentation appeared to have been made.”
Although I am a sore loser I would like to say that “if” I had won I would have Chosen the book, “Good Morning Holy Spirit” by Benny Hinn for the sole purpose of watching Melvin squirm when he had to walk into a “so-called” Christian book store and purchase it.
Cashier: So sir did you find everything alright?
Melvin: Yes thank you.
Cashier: WOW! You like Benny Hinn also? What a great man of God, Blah blah blah.
All the while Melvin’s blood pressure is raising.
Kyle
You used my tax preparers I see.
Benny Hinn is a comedian ain’t he? I read that book and thought “wow”, that was last year but now I’m saying “how?”
Melvin
TBN has purchased the Holy Land Experiece in Orlando Fl. so the can fleece more sheep. Another religous non-profit . if it wasn’t so sad ,it would be funny. mMke
I have been asked by several people about this and the “sitting down”. I won’t comment on it until I can verify it. And if it’s not true, I won’t say anything at all.
I have been asked by several people about this and the “sitting down”. I won’t comment on it until I can verify it. And if it’s not true, I won’t say anything at all.
Oh, and (not to change the subject buuut) Bishop Blake is starting the fund raising drive to add-on to his church.
This is to start in October. Gues how much he is tryna raise:
A) $750,000
B) $4,000,000
C) $9,000,000
D) $15,000,000
E) None of the above
You guess yet???
Keep guessing?
OK, as MANY of you probably said…..
The answer is E. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
The man is slated to launch a fundraiser to “finish” the building that is incomplete. Now, for anyone that has seen this building….it amazes me to even think that anyone would say this is incomplete.
The fund-raiser goal is $50,000,000 big ones. They raised $37,000,000 for the current building in the early 90’s.
Now I couldn’t beilve that. For as many to say “Ohhh, he is soooo humble.”, are getting waxed. BIG-TIME. Who in their right-mind does this??? When there are 100,000 people less than 5 miles from your church living in sewers, gutters, and in cardboard boxes, with the 2nd largerst homless population in the US outside of NYC, and you plan to raise 50,000,000 for your BUILDING?!?
Gimme a break. I actually know someone (close relative) whom goes to this church, it tempts me to actually look at them with such disdain because they know this as well.
It should be a clear sign as to what to do. RUN.
wow, I see that building everyday when I pass it on my way to work, that building seems to be completed to me. I have even been in it a couple of times and I have yet to see where that building is incomplete. its seems these guys are in competition with each other on who can build the biggest edifice.
Dana/Bishop, no matter WHAT you verify, I hope you won’t comment until you can settle on ONE screen name.
We don’t appreciate multiple identities here…………there’s a “3 Faces Of Eve” forum out there somewhere I’m sure.
I believe this website is valid in exposing the false teachers in the Word of Faith Movement who are misleading millions of souls and ultimately causing them to loose their salvation by denying our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But, lately this site has been a place for ridicule, fun and jokes for such a serious and heartbreaking offense that is taking place in the church as we know it today! Please do not loose focus on your mission as a WATCHMAN! After all, you were a big help to me and many others after God opened our eyes and delivered us from false teachers like I.V. Hilliard, Joel Osteen, Creflor Dollar and Fred Price. Rememeber the souls of man!
In His Love
Toni,
I assure you we are not losing sight of the purpose of this site. However, you have to understand that it has always dealt in humor, fun, and jokes. Remember, the pimps have to be taken seriously in order to be effective. I go out of my way to strip them of their veneer of respectability.
And don’t think Christians can’t have fun with each other. Why would we not? We know that which God has done for us!
hi melville, i don’t know why come i can’t post when you first put up a new topic. i click on the comment section but nothing shows up. anyhoo, where is prince george county? i would really like to meet you guys in person, especially paisano and nancyboo.
Well, outside of a miracle on the order of the Parting Of The Red Sea, I’m not going to make it Mav (much as I would like to).
We simply have no one who can care for Justine alone while we travel, and she’s unable to travel with us, of course. It’s just too much for Nancy’s mom alone anymore.
BTW, Melvin told me that you can’t post when a topic first comes up because after Mav has spoken, there’s nothing left to be said.
(MN: Shh. You weren’t supposed to tell her. Now she’s going to think she’s all that…and a bag of chips.
By the way Mav - Prince Georges county is in Maryland, cozied right up against the District of Columbia. Here’s a map showing PG county to the right of DC. Bowie is just above the center of the map, slightly to the right. )
thanx for the info. maryland is about a 4-5 hour drive from the bronx and the way gas prices are, i can’t handle the trip right now. but if he’s ever headed to new york city, it’s a date. and for you information mr. melville and paisano-for the record, i aaaaammmm (head swerving) all that! and a bag a chips w/ some dip on the side!! how do i know-’cause my hubby told me so! LOL
Was your husband under threat at the time??
ok paisano, don’t get all cute w/ me! nooooo, he was NOT under duress at the time (rme)! i’m not one to toot my own horn, but i will say that my hon was won over by my sharp wit, outgoing personality, intelligent conversation, hilarious sense of humor and the fact that i am a believer. all the same things i used on YOU to win you over :LOL:
what can i say, to know mav is to love mav. (warm smile)
I can’t argue with ANYthing you wrote. You won me over just as you said.
Also Toni, Jesus and Paul used sarcasm and humor to great advantage in their teaching. Paul, when dealing with those who wanted to circumcise the Gentile believers, said he wished they’d just go all the way and castrate themselves if they loved cutting so much
Jesus’ famous use of the example of the beam in your own eye while trying to pluck the speck out of another’s eye………..THAT’S both sarcastic and FUNNY! We MISS it because we read it without consideration.
When Elijah confronted the prophets of Baal on Mt Carmel in 1 Kings 18, and their false god didn’t light their offering afire, Elijah said, “Hey, maybe you’re God is sleeping. SHOUT LOUDER!!
WAIT!!! Maybe he’s on the toilet………..”
Now THAT’S funny!!
Yet the subject was deadly serious as well.
Toni,
Sometimes all you can do is laugh. Sometimes that which is so serious crosses into the bizarre. It amazes me that people could look at Benny Hinns wife with any seriousness. I wonder How many people raised their hands and said,” Praise Jesus” when Mrs. Hinn talked about Holy Ghost enemas. Its very humorous. Also, how could one not laugh at some of the tall tales Jesse Duplantis came up with. I mean really do you think he met Jesus by being translated into Heaven three times? Or what about Paula White? Do you not find any humor in her website. I mean really, day spas for Jesus. Come on! Or what about watching Kim Clement rock back and forth with his eyes shut when he “supposedly” receives a prophecy from God. Or what about the crazy prayer cloths and Jesus pictures sent by St. Mathews Churches? That’s ridiculous. And finally what’s up with that crazy purple wig Jan Crouch wears? That makes Tammy Faye’s wig look noble. You see Toni some of this stuff is so absurd and over the top that one can only laugh in amazement. This is not ridicule but rather when something is so preposterous it often invokes laughter from the sheer amazement. The stuff that pimps do is not just off, heretical, or blasphemous it’s down right insane. The things that they do are so over the top. Do you not slap yourself in the fore head each time one of these pimps claim that it was God who blessed them while everyone puts money in the collection plate. Sometimes I just want to say, “Hello, Duh, it’s YOU who are making this Pimp rich”. This Pimping stuff is beyond cults. I mean even the Catholic Church does not deny the trinity although they are scripturally way off. Many Pimps deny the Trinity, claim gifts they don’t have, tell others what to do and if they don’t there are consequences, have crazy shaking, falling, and babbling behavior, and twist scripture for their own ill gotten means. In summary what is discussed here is SO beyond heresy that all you can do is laugh.
Kyle
Actually, I sat in a Catholic mass a couple of years back and a deacon spoke out against the Health Wealth prosperity cults.
Now, if the Catholics speak anything approaching hellfire, brimstone or against anything…it must be bad.
Melvin, that wasnt even the comments I made concerning Jamal Bryant, and for the smart mouth how claims I have more that one identity, I dont know who Bishop is
Apologies Dana………..but with the wrong posting by TWO posters with EXACTLY the same wording, surely you can see how it looked.
Also , you don’t have the benefit of the history at this site with some who used multiple identities, arguing with THEMSELF, or using three false identities to gang up on one poster.
I tell ya………….sometimes it’s a CIRCUS here
To Toni,
I agree with you that when these false teachers and prophets are fleecing the flock, it is no joking matter. It makes you cry sometimes. I believe that once you’ve come out of darkness into the light, because of God’s mercy, you look back and see all of the foolishness you were believing such as speaking in tongues and being slain in the spirit, sowing a seed, and to me, you have to sometimes laugh about it. I also believe that the joking around that you see on this site demonstrates in more details and more behind the scenes, the con games they invent. I’m sure some people on this site used to work with pastors, serving as deacons and other positions, so they know the game. When Christ said you should know the truth and the truth shall set you free, he really meant it. Lies keep you in bondage and it is a breath of fresh air to receive the truth. Thank God!
Melvin, Kyle, Gary and Angela,
Thanks for responding to my post; I really appreciate your comments!
I guess sometimes I think about how brainwashed people are who have fallen into the traps set by these false teachers…..I was once named among them. And, to have seen first hand how so many families were torn apart by this deception. I just want people to experience the impact of this ministry (pulpit pimps) that I had when God delivered me several years ago!
You’re right, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying about the devastation the WOF Movement is making in the lives of so many! Keep exposing these people and pray for the innocent.
In his Love
Toni