I’m thinking about getting one of those digital voice recorders so I can record the words “These people don’t care about you. You are just a market to them.” Then I can loop the recording so that it will repeat itself over and over again. Then I won’t have to begin a posting with those words ever again. But since I don’t have that digital recorder…
These people don’t care anything about you. You are just a market to them. A reader posted this comment last night.
Dear Boardmanudobi & Gridiron:
After reading both of your posts about the pimps preaching only from the Old Testament, I thought I would add a comment or two here as I also believe that there is some serious implications to this point.
My daughter moved to Charlotte, North Carolina back in December due to her Job moving her there. She visited a church there named “University Park Baptist Church”, known as “The Park” to the Charlotte Community.
My wife, daughter and little Grand-Son actually visited that church a couple of weeks ago and while they enjoyed the worship atmosphere tremendously, they noticed that the pastor spoke from the Old Testament.
Well, it just happens that I have several friends in that area due to the fact that I use to live in Columbia, South Carolina prior to moving to SouthernCalifornia. I’ve discovered that the Rev. Claude Alexander, the Senior Pastor at The Park primarily preaches from the Old Testament Books.
His church by the way is a large church of about 8,000 members, and his focus is primarily on “encouraging the people”, and not “burdening them down”. I actually e-mailed this brother and asked him why he only preaches from the O.T. and his reply was very defensive, shallow, and pretty much dishonest.
I’m convinced that he doesn’t want the people to have to face their sin, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the consequences of not repenting. While Charlotte is in “The Bible Belt”, please believe me when I tell you that the church folks there are “loose and wild”.
And any kind of sermon that would bring about conviction to their hearts, they wouldn’t care much for the person who is bringing that kind of message! Therefore, I don’t think its an accident that the pimps are only preaching from the O.T.
Blessings!
BT
Quite a coincidence really. I had been working on a posting about University Park Baptist Church. Today is probably as good a day as any to take it out for a drive.
Take a look at this image.
According to this (and “this” is from Cashflow’s site), Mr. Dollar is going to be speaking in Charlotte, NC. Click on the image and get the full information (again from Cashflow’s own site). After you take a look at it, come back here.
That’s right, Cashflow is going to be hosted in Charlotte by none other than the Rev. Claude Alexander and University Park Baptist Church. Click here to go to the World Changers’ site itself. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m making this stuff up.
Would any of you care to explain to me why Mr. Alexander is hosting Cashflow in Charlotte?
Let me rephrase that. We already have a strong suspicion of why he’d hosting him. Money very likely plays a large part in it. The question should be “If Mr. Alexander cares so much for the people for whom he is responsible, then why would he host a pimp like Cashflow?
And remember, this is after the Mase mis-adventure.
You people who attend University Park Baptist church , ask your deacons, elders, reverends, ministers, or maybe even the ushers why your pastor is hosting anything done by Cashflow. Ask them if they believe that Jesus suffered in hell for our sins. Ask them if they believe Jesus is the first born again man. And if the answer is “no” to either of these questions, ask them why they are supporting Cashflow’s appearance.
Doesn’t the Bible say we are to have nothing to do with those who preach another gospel (Gal 1:8; 2 John 9,10)? Certainly by hosting the conference, by plastering his name and the name of the church organization all over the airwaves, Mr. Alexander is doing precisely what the Bible clearly tells him not to do.
OH. And let me remind you that John (I really want to be a Big Dog) Jenkins hob knobs with Mr. Alexander as well. He spoke at this bozo’s church last year. Click here to see the posting.
These pimps and pimpettes don’t care about you. They see you as a market, a way of living a fabulous lifestyle without having to work for it (if you listen to most of their sermons, it’s clear they don’t work). They believe you are too stupid to actually read your Bibles. They know that the sheeple are willing to come in, shut their brains down, and give them as much money as they demand. And they demand a lot.
Still, I feel a little sorry for them. When they face Jesus Christ at the Bema seat they are going to have to give an account for what they have done, what they have said, and what they have failed to say. How many people have passed into hell deceived into thinking they were just fine. How many people are like Confused (the commenter from Mister Twister) and focus on what the bloke does and not what he says?
Pay attention and make sure you aren’t going down the exact same road as these clowns by thoughtlessly defending them.
Pay attention. Study your Bible. Be obedient to God’s word. Anything less is simply playing at church and wasting your time.
By the way, apparently as a way of following the template laid down by Fast Eddie, Mr. Alexander is bringing in Cornel West and Tavis Smiley to tell the church what it needs to do to have an impact in the Black community. Click here to see it.
(”His church by the way is a large church of about 8,000 members, and his focus is primarily on “encouraging the people”, and not “burdening them down”. I actually e-mailed this brother and asked him why he only preaches from the O.T. and his reply was very defensive, shallow, and pretty much dishonest.
I’m convinced that he doesn’t want the people to have to face their sin, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the consequences of not repenting. While Charlotte is in “The Bible Belt”, please believe me when I tell you that the church folks there are “loose and wild”.)
Question: Even in preaching about the OT, how in the world can one not have to face their sin and the consequences of sinning? Honestly, compared to the New Testament, it seemed that God was a WHOLE lot more severe when it came to sin and rebellion against Him!!
Sodom and Gommorah in Genesis, Folks? The near fatal “Golden CALF” experience, Anyone? Having to Wander in the wilderness to death because of unbelief at the Promise Land in Numbers ? The entire mess with society breaking down because of compromise in Judges? Exile into Assyria and Babylon because of Idolatry in the Book of Kings?
And that entire list doesn’t even cover the myriad of stories/examples of the Holiness of God, the Seriousness of His Standards, the Severity of His judgement, and the Deadliness of Sin…….What’s the Deal? Gotta really work hard to get over that one when preaching just the OT…….
In response to Double G’s comment
I know this is an old article but in reading it, I believe what Melvin is saying that Claude Alexander and his associates,by their actions are showing you is that they do not believe or refuse to preach about the Trinity. You cannot preach about the Father without preaching about the Son and the Holy Ghost. They are not preaching the gospel of Christ, which is in the New Testament. You must cover all aspects of the Bible. Many of the so called ministers love to quote the Old Testament because it is a money game. For example, tithes and offerings is what keeping a lot of churches going, and I have just found out because we are under grace from the law and there are no more priests to collect the tithes and offerings(Christ is our priest), we are not obligated to pay it.
I would also like to say that yes, God is still convicting us of our sins, especially with the use of His Holy Spirit. If you are truly God’s anointed mouthpiece, then you must warn the people and expose their sins. Many churches are not showing us the error of our ways because if they did, then they would not have such a big crowd. They would run away from them so therefore, no monetary gain for them. It goes to show that they are not serving the Lord in good intentions.
If anyone wants to comment or correct me, you may.
you have no idea what you are talking about…going to a church only once, you will never fully understand. My Pastor, Dr. Claude Alexander Jr preaches from the whole bible. Simply put, he preaches what the Lord instructs him to preach. He will do a series in the old testament…just as he will do a series out of the new testament. In reference to the trinity comment…Pastor Alexander actually did a bible study where he explained the trinity…in his own words he gave the example of the trinity being like ice water and steam…all 3 coming from the same property (water) but all serving 3 distinct operations…that is true. Please do not talk about my pastor, without coming to the church on a consistant basis. Any hypothesis that is only tested by one experiment can not be concluded as true or false. When you talk about he doesn’t preach about the son…why in every sermon…he takes Jesus to the cross….that to me is preaching about the Son….
I think Pastor Alexander is an awesome man of God. However, the water, ice steam concept, in my humble opinion, does not accurately explain the trinity. For example, if is poosible to go from liquid to steam without the process of freezing the water. Unfortunately, you cannot bypass the Spirit to get to the Son and the Father. In the book of Exodus, the horn and the Brazen Altar have to be one as is the Father and the Son. The presence of the Spirit is through the cords of love which held Christ to the cross. The sacrifices were bound to the horns with cords.
God didn’t tell us to “LOOK” back….Jesus is to to the front, ahead of us to follow “HIM” leading us (NOT MAN)…and he sure doesn’t need our money. He plainly says you can’t serve “Him” and money….you will love one and hate the other….So for all these “MONEY” men in the name of their god “MONEY” what you doing ain’t got nothing to do with “GOD”…..It’s flesh stuff (man’s love of money)! Idol..
Why do you care what anyone says about your pastor? If your pastor is truely a believer he wouldn’t care either. Too many people worship the pastor and not the Lord.
Isn’t Cornel West still a Marxist? Or a black nationalist at best? How is he going to advise the church? MJ I am in Omaha and in your great tradition I am seriously thinking about standing outside the Qwest Center on March 30th when Mr. Creflo (imitating Steppin Fetchit by buckin my eyes for for Ken Copeland’s amusement )Dollar comes to town. Can you send me something to hand out or shall I develop my own? It will be interesting to see what a warm reception I get from these mislead Christians. I could go inside and feed you an on location report!
(MN: An onsite report would definitely be great. )
Edra,
i was raides in the Bay Area…but am originally from North Omaha. My family is still there in droves.
And for those of your whom say “North Omaha”?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Omaha
Didn’t you know? For some Black folks race is more important than religion.
Look at what they’ll take to the streets, cry loud and spare not about.
They just sit in the church and make use of it out of tradition.
Bottom line, Tavis has books to sell and if a church helps him make a sale that’s cool with him.
Never mind that Tavis endorse sins like gays wishing to call themselves “married”. And I don’t think we even need to bring up the topic of abortion. Kill millions of Black babies in the womb, Tavis says it’s a right!
LL Cool J is scheduled to be a guest on TBN Weds. 2/14
Is he professing salvation?
Oh my goodness - I’ve never posted before and just had to speak up on this one. LL Cool J has a new fitness book out, and as it seems, is doing just about everything and going just about everywhere to hawk it. While I can’t judge where his faith lies, I have not heard anything in the mainstream about him necessarily being a Christian. And even if he does profess to be a Christian, its not like he’s done anything in the mainstream to promote Christianity. That is a set-up by TBN!! What woman in the audience is going to be be able to keep from getting distracted with LL Cool J on stage?? Especially if he wears his signature Kangol and wife-beater and is licking his lips.
LOL - Yeah…licking his lips like he is in the Sahara Desert.
How many women will be sorely distracted because of the “sexiness” he actively promotes regarding himself.
I’m putting on my wife-beater and finding Nancy, licking my lips like I had peanutbutter smeared all over my mouth.
LL CoolG………..
Don’t forget your skullie cap.
LL Cool J has always claimed the faith. Like Snoop Dogg, he says he’s a Christian. Hey Sean Colmes and Biggie wore things around their neck that were supposed to be the face of Christ. All the while all of them make trash on their CDs.
TBN is having him on…I’m not surprised.
heeeyyy, LL believes in a “higher power”- doesn’t that count?
LL Cool J as in “Ladies Love Cool James”?? Great name for a believer……… not.
Oh, now LL is “saved”. OK. Yep, they’re all Christians. They worship Chris. Not CHRIST. I don’t see how he reflects CHRIST in his lyrics and lifestyle. But TBN-the Totally Bogus Network is a good place for him to hawk his new fitness video. TBN is the modern day version of the temple where JESUS turned over the tables (Matthew 21:12-13). Be assured-the LORD will be back to turn them over again!
LL is not the only one claiming salvation. Check out this link: http://www.thespiritofhiphop.com/main.html
Click on Radio Cast then click on TV Cast and watch the Spirit of Hip Hop video part 1. The brotha that runs this site is named CoCo Brother.
(MN: I couldn’t quite figure out who is associated with the “movement” and who appears just because KOKO put their pictures out there. The whole site is a little confusing. I should put KOKO in touch with my VOPWM. )
L L’s pastor is Floyd Flake
Floyd Flake Quote: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/week804/interview.html
“We just finished buying up the block across the street, so it’s the next to go down. We’ll tear that whole thing down [and] we’ll build it ground up. We’ll do commercial on the ground floor and 58 units of disabled [apartments] upstairs. That’s a population that’s totally underserved. One of my strongest members is L.L. Cool J, so he has invested some money with us in getting that one done.”
CoCo Brother is a DJ in Atlanta. Do you have to be in a church to do the work of a
Christian?
Yes he’s a DJ on the trash and smut Radio One Hip Hop station there in Atlanta.
No someone does not have to be “in a church” to do the work of a Christian. Christians are supposed to do their work outside of the church walls to begin with. Although saints should gather together.
Co Co and company spin, promote and produce the trashy filth and garbage spread across Atlanta and this entire nation. Then when someone acts out what is in the music he and others play, he jumps up to say something like “ah come on people we’ve got to do better…” This play the garbage and talk a little truth game is bogus. People that claim the Lord one minute and hang at the club for the next Hot 107.9 party seconds later. Doing all the trash they know should not be done.
It’s a bunch of folks who enjoy making money off the gutter end of Black culture, while claiming to love Jesus.
The product promoted by Radio One is of a different master than the one in Heaven. This conflict is best explained in Luke 16:13
Looks like Co Co Brother is no longer doing the early evening drive time trash show for Hot 107.9FM in Atlanta, GA. Now he’s doing an early AM Holy Hip Hop show. A page on his site mentions.
Well at least he’s no longer spinning the trash he used to spin while claiming the faith. But now he’s still claiming a link to the smut artists in the name of “Jesus”. I just pray he realizes that once those tax collectors and prostitutes accepted Jesus, they turned from their wicked ways. Unlike the “celebrities” he features on his site. This sends the wrong message, that you can accept Jesus and keep living like the rest of the world. And if you have enough fans Co Co will put you on his site if you wear a cross.
I will say that I think he’s trying to grow, showing he’s working to do better and I pray he sees that he’s actually going to have to cut ties with the folks that are not truly sincere about trying to live a HOLY life. If you’ve shown them the way and they keep producing filth, cut them loose. Reaching out to them is one thing, but claiming them as part of your movement, while they continue to produce filth is not wise.
And Radio One (his employer) is just a trash monster. I mean it’s like working for the biggest proponent of sin while claiming to work for brining people to salvation.
Again I repeat, he is doing better himself than he was doing when he ran his own smut show. I think he’s a young guy trying to learn how to do right, considering where he started from.
I pray he grows in grace.
I will say, it always seems that all the major Holy Hip Hop artists I’ve known about always seem to roll with Pulpit Pimps. Like in Atlanta, they usually roll with Eddie Long and Creflo Dollar. Long works to help some of them with their production efforts.
I think in time, some of those kids might wake up like many of us did, reach back and verbally pimp slap folks like Long and Dollar.
Eddie Long has a guy named minister Eddie Velez that does this radio effort and is very influential in that Holy Hip Hop community. When it comes to the Christian faith, Eddie Long is all that Velez knows. And Eddie Long is the one who put Velez up as a minister. Personally I always thought Long was moving too quick with the kid, even when I was going there. Long is using him and others.
I just pray they wake up and see the truth one day.
IndependentConservative, Always thought Velez wasn’t a minister prior to New Birth. So many people come and go. Looks like he always taps musical celeberties for his music depatment. One would think they would have some people just as talented at the people he brings. Looks like its just people with big names to draw people to the church.
Sometime ago another minister with the last name Alvarado used to be there, but has his own ministry now. He was an awesome speaker, but now he’s caught up in the money game. Two and Three churches over the city of Atlanta. GREED…Just Greed
Did anyone check out the radiocast portion of the site and see the myriad of “entertainers” that he claims to have interviewed? Never before have I seen the likes of Shirley Ceasar, Mary Mary, and Tye Tribett in same company with Too Short, DMX, and Yung Joc. Oh, he also has Creflo Dollar on there for good measure. Of course, you have to sow a seed of $10 in order to get access to the full interviews. I wonder if that’s $10/interview - wait, what am I thinking, of course it is!!
Why do pimps prefer the Old Testament? Since Old Testament is primarily narrative and poetry, these passages can be subjectively manipulated as allegory to represent whatever the pimp wants to say at the moment. They can pull Hebrew words and numbers out of thin air and say that they mean this or that, constructing a web of deception that few but the very discerning can see through. Don’t believe me? I’ll make one up right now. If it were a pimp, and not me saying it, I’d probably get to share it at some conference and drag in a lot of loot:
Proverbs 6:39 and 30 say that a thief sometimes steal when he hungry. But he gotta pay it back seven times over–even if it costs all the “wealth of his house.” See, that’s the devil for you–he’s hungry, cuz he ain’t got the glory that you got (since you a little god, that is). So, he gonna steal your blessing. That’s okay. You let him have it, cuz you gonna make him pay it back later. But you ain’t gonna make him pay just a little back. No, he gonna have to empty out his household for you. How many of you want to empty out the devil’s household? Slap your neighbor and say “I do.” Glory! I know you’ve heard double for your trouble. But that ain’t what this say. This say sevenfold for your trouble, bless God. Slap somebody and say, “I want my sevenfold.” Glory! See, you ain’t never read that before, ain’t ya? That’s cuz God’s revealin’ stuff up in here tonight. Revealin’ stuff. Can you say Amen? He’s gettin’ ready to transition you into a new dimension. A sevenfold dimension. Are you ready?!
See, that was easy …
(MN: Eucatastrophe - I’ve been looking for an assistant pastor at the Melvinite Temple of Redemptive Wonders and Glorious Blessings for some time. Please submit your resume and a 20 minute taped sermon. I think I’ve found my man! )
:lol @ Slap your neighbor……
(Haha) - “Melvinite Temple of Redemptive Wonders and Glorious Blessings” - that is some church name.
Where can I find this sir? (Melvinite, MD?)
Hey! No need fo may tah carry the uh..money clip..uh…bag..uh ahem…bible or even stand on the stage. I wud clean dah toilette jess tah heh preachin’ like dat! Glory an’ amen! GLORAY!!
Eucatastrophe - I’m ready!! I’m ready!! I’m ready!!! (Although I’m a little surprised you didn’t tell us that we have to commit to sending in $6.39 for the next 12 months in order to see our sevenfold blessing manifested in our lives. Who do I make my check out to?)
Dear Pastor MN & Assistant, Eucatastrophe:
This is a application for the job as you’re secratery, trans scriber, and editer. I want to say right up front, I am defanately a Christian. I go to church every Sunday. I got a degree in x-ray and now I got 18 months to go to get my batchlers degree in English, which is my first language of choice, and I am working on learning how to speak French with a flow. My presents on a telephone is exceptionally good and I have the patients of Job. I could work from my home when the ocassion comes up. At the end of this corespondance I have put my resume for you to take a look at. Please call me at any of the numbers listed as soon as you finish reading the resume. I will come at anytime for a intervue. I do not mine working for two are more people at one time as I can do what some people call “mullty tasking.” I also could give you some realy good refrences.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this application.
P.S. I dont mine working overtime cause I could use the benjamin$.
Ms. Pearl,
Unfortunately we have already filled the position you are inquiring about. However, I do still have one remaining opening on the staff. My wife needs an Armor Bearer. The job has few requirements and is relatively simple.
The best candidate for the job will have the following qualities:
1. No real knowledge of Scripture - This lack of knowledge will enable you to believe you are being of service both to the Body of Christ and to my wife, the First Lady (who, incidently, is also the Co-pastor)
2. A weak personality - The ideal candidate should be easily manipulated and bullied into giving more attention to my wife (did I mention the fact that she is also the Co-pastor) than your family, valid Christian activities, or your own personal growth in Christ
3. A desire to be thought well of by me and the rest of the staff - This quality will help you put up with my wife’s unreasonable demands, demeaning behavior, and the fact that you may, on occasion, have to also function as cleaning lady.
4. A willingness to get a chauffeur’s license - Since our family has several cars, a van, and an Lexus SUV, the applicant must be able to operate any of them in order to drive the First Lady (and Co-pastor) around town, out of town, to the spa, and to the airport. And you have to pay for the training.
5. A willingness to buy and wear clothes she can’t afford - Hey, and armor bearer should look as good as my wife, the First Lady (who, in case I didn’t mention it before, is also the Co-pastor)
6. A willingness to be available at any hour of the day - The applicant realizes that her time and her activties are not as important as the First Lady’s time and activities.
However, this job will not pay in Benjamins. Your reward will be the honor of being seen with the First Lady and the benefits of being a servant to the Mand of Gawd and his Co-Mand of Gawd.
Please resubmit your resume, the one that demonstrates that you are a biblically illiterate kiss-up with no idea of true spirituality and no real life of your own. Be advised that you should do this as soon as possible because my wife (the Co-pastor) informs me that she has already received a couple of hundred applications and resumes for this position.
Pastor Melvin Jones
Melvinite Temple of Redemptive Wonders and Glorious Blessings
Melvin, you are a trip, man! The sarcasm is just too funny! Speaking of, what do you guys think of Chrisitian comedians?
Christopher D,
I can’t really see the point of a “Christian” comedian. I would suggest, however, that a Christian who is a comedian has to walk an awfully straight line to make sure that he is obedient to Christ and that his behavior is consistent with whose he says he is. Toilet humor and innuendos are so easy to fall into.
I used to do a bit of standup…….you do have to walk a fine line, but it can be done.
I was even asked to perform at the Florida Republican Committee annual meeting, but had to turn it down. Bill Clinton was in his second term, and while the subject was target-rich, I couldn’t walk that line there. Heck, the Flying Walenzas couldn’t walk that line
gary? a comedian? i would never have imagined!
All too true…..
Neb’ mine—thanx, but no thanx. It’ll take me more then a month for me to read the whole Bible and apply everything I seen in it just to fill you’re and the First Lady’s requirements. Got to go now and apply several Icy Hot Patches to my whole rib cage—working for you would be the death of me
:-) 
:-) 
AHEM!!! once agaiiiiin, can i be on your staff as one of the profitesses? i have a personal breakthru profitcy for you that will have you waking up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of your lungs w/ sheer euphoric exuberance- “i’m the head-not the tail!- i deserve more, i shall receive more, i AM more!” and you won’t even have to give me a love offering or honorarium.
(MN: Okay, okay! By the powers invested in my as the head Melvinite, you are the resident Profitess. But look here, you have to
rake inflow in your gift and encourage the sheeple to contribute as much as they can so they can be postured to have Gawd greatly bless them. Oh yeah - if we don’t have enough for my SR22 by the end of the year, I’m going to have to let you go. )As the Minister of Monikers, and a longtime staffer, I request access to the compensation packages being offered for these new positions.
Thus far, my salary has been appropriated every pay period as a “love offering” to the Mand of Gawd. Then, since the Mand of Gawd had requested my banking information for (supposed) Direct Deposit, I have noticed a tithe and liberal “free-will” offering also being deducted.
In short, it is costing me nearly $2500 per month to work for the Mand of Gawd, not to mention the fact that I had to purchase my own purple robes and Christian “bling” to accessorize my ecclesiastical finery.
Add to this the prohibitive cost of Pimp-’Do maintenance, and one thing is becoming increasingly clear.
Unless the 100,000,000-fold return promised me by the Mand of Gawd Melvin Jones comes soon, I may have to get an actual JOB, involving actual LABOR.
Ooooooooo……….just the thought of it makes me queasy.
Gary….U lazy good-for nothin…..SUCK IT UP! Job? Well….that might not be a bad idea. Your account is “anointed” for the cause….the building fund is up for a third overhaul (within the past 10 months).
Hey, I would know. Since I am the groupie whom follows MJ to all of his speaking engagements, and “contrary” to what Jordan was seeking (armor bearer)…the post of “fluffer” has already been filled….I anointed myself. Gloraay!
Gloraay!
Preach!
Yes Sir!
Don’t try to include my feeble attempts at the pastors attention in a new job description for you…..I will bring Pat J in here for some more of his “Mo-Fo’s” and cuttin’ up.
Grid,
Had to ask…..what does a “fluffer” do?
A “fluffer” is essentially a “suck-up”. One whom makes any feeble attempt at the leader’s attention even if it doesn’t look too good.
In that case, glad to let ya have the position brah….
I’d prefer Beryle’s “Chief Keeper of Equilibrium” role she placed me in anyday (much more powerful of a title), though “Head Usher/Armor Bearer” does seem appealing still……
And Thankfully, the position’s still up for grabs since no one has been hired yet and since “Sucking Up” and “Armor Bearer” (Head Usher too) aren’t simultaneous with each other….”Armor Bearers” actually do damage/go to work when it’s time to go to work……
Plus, “Armor Bearers” actually have more of an edge than actual “groupies” (i.e. more control/influence than most people realize)
Again, mad props to the “Self-Anointed Fluffer”, and glad you got the job (Lol Lol Lol)….Much Love n’ Blessings, Brah……
Beryle……..I just spit all over my computer laughing!!!
The bill for my new keyboard is on its way.
sis. beryle, how on earf did you request the posishun of secreterry? you caint spell worf a lick! and as the annointed and apointed profite$$ of the MTRWGB, i have a word for you. your ministree is helps. you belong in the kichen wear you can utensilise your gift of cookin- that, and we can always some more urshers- btw, how’s your feet?
TO Mrs. Maverick, GaryV, Gridiron, Double G, MN, et. al—
This Sunday morning I do declare,
MTRWGB’s “killin’” me, and that aint fare!
Wid you’re profitess(es) who profit-sigh & profit-lie
(an’ a misfit “cut-a-ho” fool who seams eager to die).
Than their’s GaryV, our resident chancellor,
an’ Grid, whose our self-anointed “fluffer.”
Last is our belovd an’ benevlant dictater
who’s bin called everything from ignerrent to hater—
“Mevil,” Jones who started this all—
at times playing crazy like David when being chased by Saul.
No, the MTRWGB has NOT gone amiss!
Tho we may play crazy, I promise y’all this:
‘Cause we’re made in God’s image an’ likeness, you see,
HIS word still reigns supreme inside y’all an’ me!!!!!
Time ta’ close an’ so’s not ta’ feel remiss,
this is sent w/HIS love an’ mind an’ a holy kiss!!!
POW-VAH! I say POW-VAH! TO THE MTRWGB!
:-) 
GLORAAY!
well done sis. pearl
i know that’s right!!
Cute, Mrs.Pearl……Have to ask, by the way…
Curious,
“Than their’s GaryV, our resident chancellor,
an’ Grid, whose our self-anointed “fluffer.”
Where would Mrs. Maverick, Mrs.Deb, and I fit into this equation (and please don’t say as a part of the ushering or Greeter staff, lol lol)….what are our labels?
Blessings….
yours truly is melville’s appointed profite$$.
Interesting….
Unless Mr.Melvin says otherwise, Guess that would leave me either the position as Head Usher/Greeter or Minister of Youth Services (makes sense since I already do this at my church)…..
Actually, seeing that I’m out on the battlefield of college life and advertise your site often, if you’re looking for an Fulll Time Evangelist/Preacher of sorts, have no fear…….”Emissary G” is here (Sounds alot more fancier than Evangelist…..much like the various creative titles people give themselves like Spiritual Arsonist Grimes, “Life coach” Jim, “Prophet” Smith, Armor Bearer Johnson, “Spiritual General Hill, Priest of Increase, Blessor Proffesor Dave, Dollar Scholar Jones, Prophetic Physcian and too many others to count…)
And funny that not many people seem to be content with being introduced with a title like “Servant” or “Brother” anymore……perhaps that’ll change….
Did I get a job on your Staff, Mr.Melvin? Or do I still need a interview to qualify?
(MN: I’m considering you for head usher with possibility for promotion to armor bearer, but you still have to be interviewed. Please purchase me a first class airline ticket to your town (we haven’t finished negotiations for my new jet yet) and pay for a hotel room at the Hyatt Really Expensive there. I’ll probably stay a couple of days. Remember, if you take care of the Mand of Gawd, God will take care of you. I’ll also need a driver to meet me with a car at the airport. Make sure the car has XM Sattelite, Jazz, surround sound. I prefer a big Lexus, steel grey, but I am humble enough that any luxury car will do in a pinch, even a Cadillac. )
G2: Mrs. Maverick is the Resident Profitess (by MN’s edict), Ms. Deb is our Curator, and you, my newest Brother, are our Chief Keeper of Equilibrium. I hope you know that this IS a good thing. As for me, I’m quite content at being a consultant. This leaves much more time for me to explore some “Benjamin-producing” ventures
:-)
I want to be the Duchess of Tithes & Offerings (or the Terminator). Bestowing upon the people the reprimands of us, the elite, not having matching Aston Martin’s with Levinson audio systems.
OHHHHHHHH……I like it….
So many different things inherent in one little title alone (ex. From”Webster’Dictionary/Thesaurus”….”Equipoise”, “Counerbalance”, “Calm”, “Cool”, “Collectedness”, “Composure”, “Evenness of Mind”, “Incapable of Being Disturbed or Agitated”, Possessing “Stability”, ….., and heck I’d go so far as to say “Power Broker”/ “Intermediary”, etc)
Mrs. Berlye, I think your label quite fits this Emissary….Kudos for your Ingenious Creativity (You have a real knack for this kind of activity)
As far as your title’s concerned, by all means keep consulting/giving your expert advice…..Whatever it takes to get that money raked (lol lol lol)….You’re too much of a Pearl, Mrs.Beryle…
By the way, Mr.Mel…..if I’m gonna potentially be your Head Usher/Personal Armor Bearer (i.e. “carrier or messenger”), we gots to work on some stuff first, Brah (Though please keep the job ONLY for me please…..Promise, it’ll be worth your while)
Can’t make the scene if ya don’t the “Green” (i.e. Cash), and, for the sake of modesty, I’d require at least 30% (that’s shooting REAL Low right now!) of whatever profits the ministry makes…..plus vacations/benefits….
More importantly, I’d require a bit manueverability in the ministry and COMPLETE…..Again, I say, COMPLETE access to whatever’s of your personal use (i.e. your house, car, banking, CHERISHED secrets) so that I could serve you the best as I possibly could…….
I’d even give ya more of an edge by opening the Book and giving ya the Real 411 on what’s going down in young kATS WORLD and tell ya all of what all the other Armor Bearers for many Pimps know…..those who did their Pastors dirty by knowing/spilling all their buisness on the street……
And trust me, Double G HAS A REALLY BIG BOOK…..(knew one person, for example, who had a really prominant bishop get into his car after a conferance, and have him driven to the Red Light District…..and the Preacher was married! And He taught on Family Values!!!). Are you interested?
Pray I wasn’t being too bold in my requests, was I? This deal has a limited warranty, so would you please respond as soon as possible ?(Lol Lol Lol) Blessings….
Oh, Benevolent Dictator….is the elections for office closed? I am your humble servant prayrwarrior. I have been seekin’ gawd fuh mah puuhpuse…I think I have found it. I would like to answer the call to become your “Life Coach”. I wanted to become a profite$$, because I can prophe-lie with the best of them, but I see that position has been filled.. I know I could do a better job than Paula White is doing. Is the Profite$$ recieving the applications, or is it too late?!? If I am too late I will remain your humble serpent (I mean servant).
Benevolent Dictator, when’s our next interview so I can get this job for “Head Usher/Armor Bearer”?
Like the Old saying goes, “The Early Bird gets the Worm” and I’m trying to get on top of this as soon as possible so I’d make the cut……Please, would you give me the job???
Blessings…..
(MN: As soon as you pay for the flight and hotel reservations. I’ll also need a stipend while I’m there. )
WHAT!?! G2, what do you think you are doing!?!
I already told Jordan what the deal was regarding a “kiss-up”….now you?!!
You leave me no choice sir….G2…..JU are kersed widda kerse!?! FAY-YUH!
Prayrwarrior……”Kersed!?!” FAY-YUH!?!
Get outta here!!
Anyone else?…there is more where THAT came from!
FAY-YUH!!!…Get outta here!!
Minster Mel-Vil,
(MN: “Please purchase me a first class airline ticket to your town (we haven’t finished negotiations for my new jet yet) and pay for a hotel room at the Hyatt Really Expensive there.”)
All pillows fluffed, all beds made, closets cleaned out, and all pieces are in play…..and hopefully I’ll soon get paid…..Did you get the confirmation for your flight and hotel reservations yet?
Pray you did……I could literally “Burn in Hell” for the things I had to do to make it all happen for ya (college finances will do that……and please, sir, don’t ask where the rest of money came from……Just take my word for it and believe that “God provided and still works in mysterious ways”, alright Brah?)…..
And just in case it all doesn’t fall through as planned, Holiday Inn or Motel 8 is still on the Ready for ya…….Add to that, I got the “Greyhound” in the works too just in case the plane tickets get examined/fail inspection….. (Probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, but that’s between you and me for now, I guess….)
(MN: “Remember, if you take care of the Mand of Gawd, God will take care of you. I’ll also need a driver to meet me with a car at the airport. Make sure the car has XM Satellite, Jazz, surround sound. I prefer a big Lexus, steel grey, but I am humble enough that any luxury car will do in a pinch, even a Cadillac.”)
The Driver will meet ya whenever it’d be your earliest convience, but be warned: the trunk of the car’s off limits…..It’s a bit messy (Hint Hint), so I’d advise you put yo stuff in the back seat and stay quiet during the ride……
The driver’s name is Vince (one of my many “contacts” from back in the day), and he doesn’t really talk much…..except about different risky “jobs” he took for many high level folks (Think he’s a Christian too…..He at least attends Mass every Sunday)…..
You’d like him….Seeing he knows a lot of folks with “political muscle”, I’d think it would behoove you to link up with him so your influence could attain a bit global scale, but I could be wrong….
In the event that you shouldn’t immediately arrive at your immediate destination (or notice a pair a dirty gloves in the compartment), don’t be shocked…..Vince simply has a lot of necessary “Stops” he has to make along the way, but I’ve made sure he’ll get ya to where ya need to be……
(MN: “I’ll also need a stipend while I’m there.”)
Name your price…….but I pray we’re not talking money as in a “Protection racket”(i.e. “blackmail”) amount, are we? If so, let me know who the “Bag Man” is so I can work something out with him…….
Hope you see how far I’ll go to take care of the “Mand of Gawd”……So, would ya please come through and take care of me? CAN I PLEASE GET THIS JOB?
Matthew 7:7-8
Ask, Seek, Knock
7″Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
That being said, Minister Melvin, I’m gonna keep POUNDING on ya door till I get this job…..If God’s on yo side, then I ain’t stopping till I get through to ya and on staff with ya….
Ohh, SHANDA, “I can feel the Presence of the Lord, and I’m gonna get my blessing RIGHT NOW!!! Bless God!!!!! Touch yo neighbor and say “!!%!&$$@#@@##*” (Opps, my bad…..Freudian slip)
(Gridrion: “WHAT!?! G2, what do you think you are doing!?!
I already told Jordan what the deal was regarding a “kiss-up”….now you?!!”)
Whoah now, brah….what made ya think I was about anything like kissing up? What I said was nothing more than a political move…..I have my “Contacts”/influence, and I was hoping to expand the territory a bit more……And what better way to do that than to be under the training/covering of the Ultimate “Mand of Gawd” himself: Minister Me-Vil!……
Plus, I really need this “Head Usher/Armor Bearer” job for the salary I’m on (college will do that….but hey you must’ve forgot that since you’re happily married now)……I needs a blessing, and Minister Me-Vil gots one…..so why not stake your claim?
Besides, YOU ALREADY HAVE A TITLE, MR.SELF ANOINTED “FLUFFER”!!! I didn’t give myself a title…..and Mr.Melvin considered me for “Usher” gig….so please, save the curses brah lest you wish me arrange avquiet “dissapearance” for ya (Lol Lol Lol
Blessings….
Pardoanah may Miz Mavrick. I sed I tek deh baffroom. Buh nah…thinkin’ bout dis, I wan tah be dey secreterry….de haid secreterry ‘n charge maddahfac. hmph! Imma move mah sef on up deh an yo kin jess stay out dah way. Iz werkin’ fo Melville on dey compacs puter doin’ typin’ and putin’ heah? Rite heah ‘n new yauk citay. Dat wey I kin keep mah eyes on evah thin’. Dey do-ray-mee be impornant. Sho nuf
Walkbyf8th…..”Kersed!?!” FAY-YUH”! Get outta here!
Mrs. Beryle,
Would you mind doing me a favor and using your “consulting” skill on Mr.Me-Vil (put in the good word) so I’ll finally be employed by the powers that be? I sent in my resume to him, and he has yet to get back with me, and I just went through ALOT of Hell to set up his visit for free…….
Forgive me if I was a bit too bold in asking, but I guess it’s just the “Power Broker” in me……that, and I;m really in desperate need for employment you see.
Can ya help a brotha out?
Grid, our Benevolent One has yet to “annoint” you for any position…so how can you “FAY-YUH” me? BE careful of the toes you “FAY-YUH”..they will be connected to the “Life Coach” you’ll have to kiss-up to tomorrow….and all the Temple people said…..!?!
(Prayer Warrior: “BE careful of the toes you “FAY-YUH”..they will be connected to the “Life Coach” you’ll have to kiss-up to tomorrow….and all the Temple people said…..!?!”)
And the People said “Amen”!!!! By the way, prayer warrior, got a buisness proposition for ya…..
In the case that you should remain unemployed for the job of “life coach” and passed over for someone else, would you consider perhaps joining me in creating a splinter cell/new faction on the site?
Nothing’s set in stone……yet……..but it’d probably prove beneficial for you and I to have some sort of contingency plan so we’d be able to stay alive during these precarious times.
It’d be kindda like a Trade Union (Labour union) of sorts, and it’d give both of us a voice on the site (and a bit of leverage, perhaps, as well)…..
With you….. “Life Coach”/Prophitess”… on my side, and hopefully Mrs. Beryle (if I can convince her), Mrs.Deb, Independent Conservative, Mr.Samuels, and a host of others…..and the new batch of “Anons”, perhaps we could force the Dictators hand…….
If not, cool….then we’d be the first folks ever in PP history to began the official rebellion/Heresy against the Melvinite Temple (every religion needs some)…..
What do you say? This deal has a limited warranty, so please respond today, okay? Blessings……
(MN: All positions have been filled. If you haven’t been notified of a reporting date to the Melvinite Temple, you need to go find another Mand of Gawd to sit under. Thanks for your time. All personnel report for our first “planning” session on February 17, 2007 at the Hyatt Tremendously Expensive here in Washington DC. The stay is free, the food is free, and all activities are free - paid for by the generous, and somewhat gullible members of the Temple. )
G2: Sorry ’bout that (all positions have been filled); remember, nothing is written in stone. I earnestly liked the title, “Power Broker.” It sounds so “NASDAQ-ish” or New York Stock-Exchangish,” really! However, will you please do me a favor and define the term, “FAY-YUH”? I told myself I wouldn’t ask but inquisitiveness got the better of me
(MN: “All positions have been filled. If you haven’t been notified of a reporting date to the Melvinite Temple, you need to go find another Mand of Gawd to sit under. Thanks for your time.”)
Dirty……Straight Dirty….And especially seeing all the mess I had to go through so you could “have your way today” (by the way, who got the “Head Usher/Greeter” Job if not I? Please …don’t tell me it was Grid, was it?)
(MN: Yep - He had the better resume. I mean he polishes one of Big Dogs tires…while they’re turning!!! That’s anointed if ever I’ve seen anointing. )
I’d hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this, but you leave me no choice……
As “Chief Keeper of Equilibrium”, seems as if I’ll have to “balance” out things a bit….
And seeing that all positions sadly have been filled, it seems I’ve been regulated to being the odd man out once more…….but so be it: I’ll have to play the “Herectic” role of the Melvinite Temple once again (every congregation/temple needs one….and it’s seems I’ve been placed in the “Martin Luther” role for this institution……and besides, it’s a bit more fun to do so, lol lol lol)
Let the Revolution Officially Begin….Anyone, by the way, interested in joining the Cause?
Beryle,
“I earnestly liked the title, “Power Broker.” It sounds so “NASDAQ-ish” or New York Stock-Exchangish,” really! However, will you please do me a favor and define the term, “FAY-YUH”?”
2 things:
1.) To let you know, in case you misread anything, The “Power Broker” title was for me…..It went along with my “Equilibrium” label you gave (along with the other definitions I found). No doubt you gots a bit of the gift too, but I got’s it a bunch…(Gotta be resourceful/tricky like Power Brokers to stay alive on this site like I have…..No offense, girl)….”Consultant” suits you in many ways much more than it would I….
2.) “FAY-YUH” apparently means either that fire will be called down on us if we rebel against the Melvinite Temple or that we’re fired….but I could be wrong
By the way, is it lawful for a follower of Me-Vil to be associating with a “Herectic” like me? For your sake I hope so (LOL LOL)
Blessings….
Mrs.Beryle, by the way……if you’re going to continue to be employed at the Melvinnite Temple, perhaps they need to step up your role from a mere “Consultant” to something on a much more grander scale……In a bit of a “Cleopatra” style, knaw what I mean?
Seems you’d be much more suited for the role of something like an “Oracle” (and I don’t neccessarily like the one from the “Matrix”, though you’d probably top her in alot of ways…..)
Blessings, sis…….
G2…..Haterism. I doesn’t like that spuurit on you right now. If you don’t calm down….I will have to put my cast (hands after they heal) on you.
I am the Head Greeter. Fluffer, etc……I have given up on Creflo for about two weeks now (He parks somewhere else now) …..so when you come inside De Melvinite Temple……..I must give you the craziest video mean-mug, to let you know that I ain’t takin’ no crap even up in Gawds house.
Pat J is ma asst. He does all ma (severe) “dirty” work.