The more I read and the more I listen to people, the more amazed I am. The image I just posted doesn’t have anything to do with the pimps I usually cover. I was just amazed when I saw it I decided to put it up and let you take a look at it. It was in the Washington Post Express on October 4, 2006, page 21, bottom left-hand corner.
Apparently the owner of the ad wants to be a dad. But he doesn’t want to get married, establish a relationship of any kind with a woman who might somehow serve as the mother, and seems to think that being a dad is an end in itself. While I can understand the desire to be a father (I have raised four children and my wife had one miscarriage) it’s not like wanting to own a dog or a cat (forgive me PETA).
The insistence on the right of convenience (I want a child and the welfare of the child be dashed) is, in my opinion, one of the overwhelming world attitudes being not so slowly infused into the church.
After all, we (the church) are starting to say that we should get cars, houses, and other stuff just because we want them, because we’re the head and not the tail. I should have things because they are the desire of my heart. This guy is saying “I should be a dad just because I really want it.” Making the child a part of a family doesn’t even seem to have crossed his mind. It shouldn’t be too long before unpleasant and unmarried “Christian” women decide that this is the way to go. Who needs faith and trust in God when Dr. Himmelfarber can get you knocked up with a Petri dish?
Of course, I never met the fellow in the ad and I don’t know what his personality, goals in life or anything else are like. But I can see that he is of the opinion that purposely setting out to raise a child without a complete set of parents is a secondary consideration. It’s just like an associate of mine who decided that time was running out and she still didn’t have a husband. So she did an In Vitro fertilization. She never got married, and her son was raised by her, alone. The jury is still out with respect to how the young man will do in society.
Both decisions (a deliberate decision to be a husbandless mother or a wifeless father) are incredibly selfish. I understand the reasons for doing it and even feel some measure of compassion for those in such a difficult position. But I still see the decision as exhibiting the ultimate in selfishness, considering only his or her desires and not even thinking about the child he or she will be deliberately bringing into a less than complete family.
Note: I don’t usually do this, but I do want to make it clear that I am not railing on the husband and wife who go to a fertility clinic to get pregnant. While there are less obvious, but equally important issues with this, I really do understand and am not jumping on you. You have enough to worry about without having me make a bunch of noise at you. And I do understand that when a spouse dies or walks away, you have to make do and really trust God. But raising the child alone is not something you deliberately pursued.
Because some men hearts are not right with God and they refuse to acknowledge Him not only as the Sovereign (in all matters) All Powerful God to be worshipped, reverenced, and OBEYED
According to Psalm 81:12
God gave and will always give them up to their own heart’s lust to have what in the hardness of their hearts they desire to walk in. Unfortunately the majority of the ORGANIZED churches have decided to walk in there own hearts desires also. Without the spirit of repentance being granted to these, they will ultimately be treaded in the winepress of the fierceness and WRATH of Almighty God.
With this in mind we are to continue to preach the WORD of God provoking, and angering some to the SAVING OF THEIR SOUL.
William Taylor Sr.
Bondservant of the Lord Jesus Christ
http://www.actioncross.net
The other aspect of this morally (beside the one of depriving a child of an intact nuclear family) is the “residue” which remains from this process.
Dozens of fertilized embryos (human lives) left to either be stored perpetually in frozen limbo, or even worse to be flushed down a laboratory commode somewhere after successful impregnation is achieved.
Most folks don’t think about the implications of that. I sympathise with the desire for a child………..I’d love another, but without the direct intervention of God it’s not going to happen.
We considered in-vitro……….but the consequences of what I described above made that choice impossible. I feel for this man…………I share his sentiments with regard to fatherhood.
But the ramifications of that choice both to the child he will have brought to term (no mother……..an inestimable loss), and to those he discards, are staggering.
Also………..it occurred to me that the reason this man likely wants to have a child without the benefit of marriage is that he may well be a homosexual.
That is the trend today………and if it is so, may God have mercy on this child.
The average homosexual male lives nearly 30 years less than his married hetero counterpart.
A homosexual male is almost certain to be unable to sustain any long term relationships.
Homosexual males average hundreds (some thousands) of mostly anonymous sexual encounters.
A young boy left within that world………defenseless, more prone to homosexuality and sexual abuse, likely to experience not only the early death but the living misery of this “father” with its sharply elevated instances of suicide and mentsal health issues……..a bleak outlook indeed.
Oh well…………as long as he gets his wishes fulfilled. it’s all good I guess.
(MN: But of course we don’t know that he is. That is only a suspicion and a possibility. The woman I know who got impregnated is not a lesbian. I know, the two are probably not equivalent. But still, we don’t know.)
I never stated that this was the case…………my statement was “It occurred to me………likely”.
The rest of the comments are predicated upon that possibility, and are used as an opportunity to examine the consequences attendant with this increasingly common scenario.
If I was misunderstood to say that I affirmatively knew this was the scenario, I apologize for not making my points more clearly.
One more point about my suspicion that this fellow may be homosexual. If you read the ad, he states that he wants to share his “love of animals, art, etc” with his son.
Now……….as a virulently heterosexual male myself……..I cannot imagine these would be my sentiments.
Love of God……….love of football……..love of the Three Stooges………OK.
He might as well have said that he wanted to share his Robert Mapplethorpe lithographs, his sense of fashion, and his collection of Bette Midler and Broadway showtunes albums. LOL
I think you may be stretching it a bit…How do you know that he isn’t a vet or an artist? I guess I’m not seeing how his love for art and animals correlates to your suspicion…Let’s look at the flip side, if a woman had written the ad…If she said that she wanted to share her love of football, big wheel trucks and the 3 Stooges with her daughter, what “suspicions” might you have then?
Hey Tweet………….new to sarcasm?? The mysterious LOL after the post might be another clue to unlock this conundrum for you
Well the fact that you commented about your “suspicion” more than once led me to believe that you were serious (despite your little LOL). If I was one of the sensitive folk that come to this site, I might take offense to your comment. Personally I thought my question was legitimate, but I guess it was beneath you to respond. So that’s cool…
I did respond………..I clarified that I was joking. What part of that have you not grasped??
Perhaps you really are too sensitive for this site……..I bet you’re a ton of fun at parties though.
(that’s a little “wink” at the end BTW……..do I need to elaborate further on that as well??)
How did you miss this Melvin?
http://www.amazon.com/Messages-Cards-Bishop-Noel-Jones/dp/1401910351/sr=1-2/qid=1160264614/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-3222947-1716023?ie=UTF8&s=books
On purpose.
Forgive for being too general, but one of the biggest problems in the black community is too many of our children growing up in single parent homes!! It’s very selfish and evil to deliberately deprive a child of having both a mom and a dad. I am blessed to have both my mom and step dad(he’s the real dad) Thanks for addressing this!!
This is a mess a hot mess!!! I can’t believe this how can one advertise being a parent? Should this be something to seek God about and not mankind. Another nice posting on your behalf Melvin keep up the good work. I am really starting to see vision and purpose. Although I still don’t agree with everything you have many good points about stuff like this here. I think that people lack faith these days. If you want a child or to be a dad pray and believe that God will make a way for you. I believe in some capacity it will be so because of your faith. Can I get a amen?!!… Be back soon!
(MN: Wouldn’t want you to agree with everything. You need to think on your own. It’s one of the benefits of visiting the site. We present ideas you have to take in, think about, and decide whether or not to accept them. Glad to see you making the trek into the light. But at the same time, never be too quick to agree with what I’m saying. There is always the very, very, very small possibility that I might be wrong.
)
I’ve often thought that if for whatever reason i didnt get married i would still want a family and therefore adopt. Would it still be selfish of me to raise a child in a one parent unit.
just wondering
If the only alternative was a child raised by NO parents, then a single Godly woman is of course preferred.
It’s not the ideal, but neither is a child without any parents. It wouldn’t be selfish at all to rescue one of these little abandoned ones by yourself. Just the opposite.