Did you ever wonder how there can be so many pimps and pimpettes in the United States, just here on the East Coast? I’ve been running this site for the better part of a year and a half and I’ve only had time to look at the bigger, more obvious pimps. But if you watch long enough, you can actually see the little pimplings being spawned by pappa pimps.

I discovered today, approving a comment for posting, that apparently, many of these pimps have mentors to help get them where they are.

And then I started thinking: “Okay, is that how it usually works? The Alpha Pimp idenifies a pimpling to nurture and help mature into a full fledged pimp.” I did a little looking around and spotted something on Fast Eddie’s site. One of the speakers is Bishop Gary Hawkins out of Rockdale County in Georgia.

Care to guess how Mr. Hawkins got to be where he is? He had Fast Eddie as his mentor. In fact, Fast Eddie ordained him as His Bishopness.

Maybe, you say with some hope, just maybe Mr. Hawkins is going to use his clout, the resources available to him through his 7,000 member church to get out there and preach the truth, to present the pure and untainted Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Don’t hold your breath. Here is an excerpt from an article from “The Common Ground News” out of Dekalb county, also in Georgia:

He is hosting his annual “Marketing Your Church For Growth” conference Nov. 6-10 and bringing renowned spiritual leaders, including Prophetess Juanita Bynum and Dr. I.V. Hilliard of New Light Christian Church, Houston , TX , to minister to other ministers and the masses during evening worship services that will be held during the conference.

Let’s see: marketing your church for growth. I think that was covered by Paul right after he fussed at Timothy for being a little shy. And look who was invited to the conference. That’s right: I. V. Hilliard and Juanita Bynum. And notice he makes the same tired promise all the other hucksters (you happy NCW?) make: Come and give me money and I will teach your something that will change your life forever or at least until next year when we hold the conference again and you get to pay $50 to attend again.

I haven’t heard a word this man has preached. But I can almost guarantee you, given the company he keeps (Cashflow Dollar, Fast Eddie, Profitess Bind’em, and others) he undoubtedly does more to keep people in material bondage and spiritual illiteracy than any country preacher trying to faithfully preach the Gospel.

And then I remembered: John K. Jenkins has openly and proudly admitted to having T. Dexter Jakes as his mentor. I guess if all goes well, John should be adding on to his memorial a couple of years after they move into the new building. I mean, hook up with Jakes, or Fast Eddie and they will show you how to turn a small group of maturing Christians into huge mass of people perennially playing at church. And of course the people who play at church are the easiest ones to pimp because they never, ever learn.

Eddie Long | 25 Comments »

You’re going to have to help me with this one.

Some of you have written, swearing I am a demon for daring to say anything about Eddie Long (aka Fast Eddie). You swear up and down that he is an anointed teacher, a stand up kind of guy, yada, yada, yada.

Well, I’m minding my own business, not even surfing the internet, when this e-mail shows up in my mail box. It’s an ad from Fast Eddie, the CEO of Club Newbirth. He’s having yet another conference. This time it’s the “Spirit and Truth” conference. And I’m thinking “Yeah, Fast Eddie and the truth. That’s a little like a prostitute and virtue. But I don’t want to compare a prostitute to Fast Eddie. It’s way too insulting to the prostitute. Click here to see a larger version of the above picture.

Think about it. Prostitutes say up front “I don’t love you. I’m only letting you screw me for the money.” It’s an awful, degrading and dehumanizing thing to do, but they are up front about it. While I may feel sorry for them and the life most of them have been trapped in, I can at least respect their honesty.

On the other hand, Fast Eddie says “I stand for the truth (thus the name of the conference). And I love the congregants. And I would as soon die as do something God would not want me to do.” Then he prostitutes the church by bringing in such heresy luminaries as Creflo Dollar, I. V. Hilliard, and the ever liberal Robert (I wish I was Norman Vincent Peale) Schuller. (Judges 2:17; 2 Chr 21:11; Jer 2:20, etc., etc.)

Fast Eddie not only prostitutes himself, the church facilities, and the congregations by inviting these clowns to speak at the church; he does great damage to the congregants by vouching for the things these mega-pimps preach. You know he’s going to take up a collection and you know Hilliard and Dollar are going to promise a hundred fold anointed breakthrough to the single moms desperate enough to show up. The women will wave their hands, jump up and down and say whatever the pimps tell them to say. Then they’ll give their money, and try to scrape up the cash to pay for the baby sitter they had to hire in order to attend the conference. And that’s if they can make it home with the hoopty they drive. In contrast, Creflo will take a limousine back to his multi-million dollar mansion and get ready for the next money making trip. A trip he will probably make in his business jet worth tens of millions of dollars.

Hmm. I guess as I think about it, the comparison to a prostitute might not be that accurate. After all, the customer pays the prostitute to let him screw her. But Fast Eddie and his bunch insist you pay them to let them screw you. And that is exactly what Israel did with the Baals, and the other false religions around them. I almost feel sorry for the people stuck in these churches; almost as sorry as I feel for the prostitutes out there plying their wares.

By the way, Tony Evans is going to be speaking there too.

Eddie Long, The Hilliards | 92 Comments »

Click here. Then go get yourself a cup of coffee, a note pad and a pencil and get ready for the ride of your life. Once you’re nice and comfy, cup of coffee steaming beside the keyboard,read the section of Scripture John will be preaching from (Luke 16:19-31), then click on “A Tale of Two Men.”
While you’re listening, here’s what I want you to do:

1. Write down all of his references to scripture outside of “today’s” text. You should record three. One was kind of explicit (though unrelated to the scripture he chose. And two were generic and unreferenced.
2. See if you can spot each time he adds to what the Scripture is saying
3. Determine if his overall sermon really had anything at all to do with the text he chose

Please understand, I am not asking were most of the things he said true (in and of themselves), because they were. Obviously we are not supposed to feed our flesh. We are supposed to be more concerned about what God thinks about us than what those around us think about us. And we surely shouldn’t go into debt trying to impress others. But is that what we should walk away from this portion of Scripture with?

Here are the questions I hope you have once you listen to the sermon:

1. How do you determine that the rich man only wanted to impress those around him?
2. How do you determine that the rich man had spent his entire life pursuing the passions of his flesh?
3. How do you determine that the rich man was asking Abraham to warn his brothers about this place because of pride and arrogance?
4. How do you determine that the rich man only related to people “headed in the wrong direction”?

In this sermon, with the exception of referring to Abraham’s Bosom as being just another reference to Heaven, he doesn’t say anything drastically wrong. The trouble is he spends the entire sermon making the section say something it wasn’t saying.

Some of you have referred to some of the contributors to this site as Melvinites, apparently because they agree with me on such a wide range of doctrinal issues. But I suggest that unless you are willing to ask John how he got the boatload of extras out of the text he preached from, you are the mind-numbed robots simply following a man who can string a sentence or two together in a semi-coherent manner. He did lots of supposing but little in the way of expositing.

Look at and analyze the sermon and honestly tell me there was a substantive and an accurate exposition on Luke 16:19-31.

The people at First Baptist who depend on John for their feeding are starving; becoming stunted, spiritually malnourished little Christians, able only to look at their neighbors and say whatever John tells them to say. If they use his methods as an example, they will continue to be incapable of feeding themselves and will continue to be dependent on the cotton candy he keeps passing off as meat.

The folks stuck there at FBCG are constantly saying what a fantastic preacher John is. Can you imagine what they would think of him if he actually allowed Scripture to speak for itself? That, of course, would require more than a little humility on his part. And somehow, I don’t think that is about to happen.

John K. Jenkins, Sr. | 65 Comments »

My vastly over-priced webmaster (VOPWM) has fussed at me several times because I will occasionally break some of your more massive single paragraph comments into their component paragraphs, or I will occasionally correct your obvious and sometime distracting misspellings (not to say that I don’t make some whoppers myself). His position is that the corrections and paragraphing are against the somewhat self-imposed standards of the blogging community. (more…)

Pulpit Pimps | 1 Comment »

It seems there are some real men and women in the more or less Christian world, even the liberal religious Christian world.

Last week, several students from ITC decided they didn’t want to participate in their own graduation if Reverend Edward “Fast Eddie” Long participated. Here is the article.

Thanks to several readers who let me know about this through e-mail and a couple of comments on this site.

And here is the letter the students sent to the head of the seminary. (more…)

Eddie Long | 15 Comments »

I got my weekly Kerney fix. Kerney Thomas sent me the cheap “Bible Red Blood of Jesus Handkerchief” a couple of weeks ago. Here’s a picture. He let me know in that letter that he was just lending me his personal handkerchief.

(more…)

Kerney Thomas | 110 Comments »

Okay, Roscoe and Bubba, Part II.

Cozy up folks and let’s get to the second half of the tale. I asked the question: “Why did Roscoe accept Jesus Christ and Bubba reject Him?” Most of you got right up to the answer and then backed away. Over the last eight days and forty-odd answers, most of you attributed one’s salvation and the other’s damnation to something each of them did or didn’t do. When pressed, you began to drag God into it. When further pressed, you backed away. But that’s fine.

Let’s start with another question. Who, born of men, is in and of himself deserving of salvation? That is, is there anyone on earth who God looks at and says “I’m going to save that person because he/she has this quality, or did this thing that I like”? I suspect that all who have been engaged in this conversation will say “No. There is no one who deserves salvation based on some quality intrinsic to that person.” (more…)

Christian Living | 83 Comments »

Okay, I’m puzzled. I just took a look at an announcement for an event at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. It mentions Fast Eddie’s name twice, New Birth’s name five times, and has four pictures of Fast Eddie. So is this event about Fast Eddie, New Birth, or Jesus? Oh wait, they only have Jesus’ name up there once…in small print…as a part of some goofy men’s group.

Then again, maybe his sycophants are doing this without his knowledge.

We report - you decide.

(Okay, so I didn’t think of that catchy phrase all by myself.)

Eddie Long | 20 Comments »

How useful is the prosperity drivel in China and other places? Here’s a letter to “The Wittenburg Door Insider Newsletter” contributed by Gabriel Lemonds:

He’s got glasses as thick as coke bottles, and dusty as old coke bottles, but his hair is shining from hair cream and there’s hardly a wrinkle on his 75-year-old face. He’s a house church leader in the southern city of Kunming. Last year he began to develop a problem — he kept tripping as he went outside his door. “Last summer, visitors kept leaving Christian literature at my door step, bags and bags of it.” (more…)

Pulpit Pimps | 1 Comment »