Here is a comment submitted by a Pentecostal reader. It is in response to Rev_ak. I thought it might be interesting to throw this up for discussion. If you find it interesting, I will leave it open for a week or so and make sure I update the comments as quickly and as often as possible.

The question: Does a person have to experience what this reader would refer to as the Baptism of the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in Tongues in order to understand the things of God?

Although I must admit, Bobby does seem a little extreme, and not necessarily typical.

Rev-ak,

I can quote scripture all day as I have been. Until YOU are BAPTIZED IN TH HOLY GHOST, none of you will get it. Get the anointing (1 John 2:20,27) and receive REVELATION knowledge not powerless man-learned knowledge that you seem to have. The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is now taking the elect from solid food to the MYSTERIES AND MANIFESTATIONS of God(the mind of Christ). And all you guys can talk about is “pimps” and people giving offerings. To MJ: Neither Paul or James wrote that scripture it was John(theREVELATOR) in 3 John 2.

Remember, think of this as practice and play nice.

Pulpit Pimps | 128 Comments »

In an effort to keep our followers happy, Anathema Ministries, the umbrella organization for a variety of familiar ministries, is now offering new resources through its website.

Click here and take a look at our newest offering.

Hot off the presses, this is the book of the decade! It’s the volume that will help you walk in your anointing, or at least walk in a really comfortable pair of Rockports. By following the guidance in this book, not only will you be clothed in Jesus’s righteousness, you can be clothed in nice Armani suits. Instead of just being carried away in the Spirit, you can be carried to service in a Bentley. And why sup with the Lamb when, by following the instructions in this book, you’ll be able to sup in some of the swankiest restaurants in town?

Who says the pastor shouldn’t get rich at the expense of the people he is over? Not us!! This book guides you, step by step, into supernatural success. It shows you how to get your breakthrough , from penny ante preacher wannabe to an anointed (and well to do) man of God.

By following the ten easy steps outlined in the book, you can go from living in a townhouse and cutting your own grass on weekends, to living large with a team of armor bearers cutting your grass, washing your car and serving as nannies to your children. And of course, with all of that extra time available to you, you’ll be able to go shopping, driven to the mall by armor bearers chauffeurs.

With a special love offering over and above what you would normally give, Anathema Ministries will include the DVD “Anointing and Intimidation , It’s All in How You Say It.” Hear and see for yourself how to:

- Make people do whatever you tell them to do. Examples include “Turn to your neighbor and say ‘You know Pastor’s right,’” and “Stand up and clap/holler/shout if you love Jesus!”

- Sweat and cry at just the right moment, convincing people you are being overwhelmed by the Spirit

-Convince them you are hearing from God by saying “I don’t know who the Spirit has this message for, but I’m going to give it!”

-Stretch your S’s at the end of your sentences so you can sound as if you just uttered a deep and meaningful statement

-Say “Watch this!” in a way that will make people pay attention to what you are saying, no matter how trivial it is.

Sow into my ministry now. For a mere $50 love offering we will send, by really slow mail, “Flock Fleecing for Fun and Profit.” And remember, for an additional $50 seed offering, you can also get the free DVD.

You say you can’t afford the$100 seed because you have rent or utility bills to pay? Don’t worry. Send in the $100 and watch God work a miracle in your life. In fact, if the electricity stays on, it will be a miracle.

As an extra incentive, if you send in the seed offering before next week, we will send, for only a small additional seed, the patented Church Naming Computer, Mark 1 (CNC-1). Afterall, how much of a Man of God can you be without a powerfully anointed church name?

Don’t delay. Start walking in your anointing now! Send your seed offering today and watch the miracles begin. Sow that seed today!

Pulpit Pimps | 2 Comments »

A reader asked a very relevant question last night:

Why bother? Why bother trying to get hard headed, lazy people to study the word for themselves? Why bother trying to get pimped people to see the “Light” (some of you will get that pun and some of you definitely won’t)? They are only going to argue to the death for their pastors who are pimping them. As a former pimped person, I know what I am talking about. Your words, your writings are falling on deaf ears (and eyes).

Interestingly, there was no pause between me reading that and the answer.

First, I don’t expect many people trapped in the pimps’ churches to go through this site and decide to leave. Some have, obviously. Some, like a couple of people who attended one of these churches, got fed up and left, discovered, like an abused child, that it really wasn’t their fault. They get to hear a third person (and some of you) saying “No, you’re not crazy. That guy or gal is a pimp and you should have walked away.” I’ve actually received several e-mails in which people asked if I knew of a church that might be different. One of them posted here as well. But I suspect the reason the site was helpful to them is because it presented Scripture, in context and in a way that actually applies to their lives.

The second purpose is to warn people who may be looking for a church away from these pimps. A person may have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. They are brand new, newly minted so to speak. Perhaps, by stumbling across this site, they can begin to get enough information to at least know which churches to avoid, to at least begin to understand what to look for in a church, or what to watch out for.

Finally, the site is here to provide you with information and to help you construct your arguments against these pimps. It provides guidance in developing “smash-mouth apologists.” And while we should never be Bible attack dogs, there are times when the truth must be spoken plainly, though in love.

The site makes sure you understand that the pimps are not God’s specially anointed, simply Satan’s especially annoying. Through the humor I hope to encourage you to speak out against the pimps and pimpettes. I can think of no better way to cut through the pimps’ pomposity than through satire poking fun at the so obviously aberrant theology the people throw around.

In the overall scheme of things, this site is truly insignificant. It tends to be amateurish and sometime a bit heavy handed. But the things I strive for (and I’m sure you will jump all over me if I miss it) are accuracy and truth and a compliance with God’s will with respect to the contents.

The site has also turned out to be a great deal of fun. As one entertainer puts it: “It’s more fun than a human being should be allowed to have.” I have met, to varying degrees, some truly creative people who have actually contributed to the contents of the site. Of course I deny that, claiming every brilliant idea as my own.

But most of all, Jude in the third verse of his epistle to the church says

“Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I felt the necessity to write to you appealing that you contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints.”

It is my desire to continue to publicize the antics and teachings of the pulpit pimps. It is not my intention to focus on the Black or White pimps, just the pimps who, through their popularity, are changing the Christian paradigm even as we watch. And I encourage you who understand what they are doing, to get involved in the counter assault, to contend for the faith once handed down to the saints.

SInce I read the last chapter in The Book, I know things will continue to get worse, with people like ET Member becoming more the standard than the exception. But we are still called on to present the truth, that God may pull some from the fires of Hell.

Pulpit Pimps | 24 Comments »

I went to Empowerment Temple last Sunday (January 29, 2006). I thought I would be really exhausted since I had stayed up late the night before. But my Armor Bearer got to the house right at 6:30 a.m. and quietly knocked on the front door. The car was already nice and toasty and he had a thermos of coffee ready for me. He even had my favorite music CD playing on the stereo: Mannheim Steamroller, Freshaire 4. Since I didn’t have to drive I took a little nap on the way to Baltimore. (more…)

Jamal-Harrison Bryant | 170 Comments »