(Since You Can’t Pray for Yourself)
You see? All of you apparently think I sit around thinking up the crazy ideas like me sending you oil so you can anoint something. But I don’t. The pimps and pimpettes send me the ideas in the mail. (more…)
As I’ve said before, Big Dog Wannabees have to do something to validate themselves on their way to Big Dogdom. And one of the ways of doing this is by keeping company with some of the right people. I mean, until you completely shift over to Word of Faith from Baptist (quite a leap in anybody’s doctrinal book of leaps and bounds), you have to establish a name for yourself. You have to make sure you can appeal to both sides. And if you can get some weighty orthodox names to associate with you, you’re half way there. John Jenkins did some of this when he invited Charles Stanley to speak at a conference. Even if Stanley is straying a bit from the path, he’s still Charles Stanley. And people being people, they are going to impugn the same qualities they associate with Stanley (right or wrong) onto the Wannabe. (more…)
You noticed the device? Any idea of what it is? A nuclear weapon perhaps? A cluster bomb? One of Batman’s flash-bangs? No. The device you see pictured above is an APD Mk4. It’s completely resistant to electromagnetic pulses, able to target and attack multiple targets simultaneously, and has the ability to remain unseen until its capabilities are needed. This device has a practically limitless shelf life and, powered by the human mind, can provide a stream of information without any other external energy source. So what is an APD Mk4? APD stands for Anti-Pimp Device. Mk 4 or Mark 4. (more…)
Ladies and gentlemen, my vastly overpriced webmsaster has struck again. There have been some changes to the site’s mechanics. And they are, I believe, changes for the better. But don’t tell him. He may want a raise.
The biggest change, the one that affects you the most, is the way the comments work. You can now develop threads, that is, directly address a comment by clicking on the “Reply to this comment” link. If you do that, your comment will be grouped with the comment you are responding to. Now we can avoid the three of four comment space between a statement/question and it’s response.Second, if you click on a comment to the right, the browser will take you directly to that comment, not just the posting. Slick.
Give it a try and see what you think.
Rather than immediately revealing name of the winner, here is the quote from that kind and compassionate person (more…)
Well, I reached further into the bilk bag from Prophet Jordan and felt around. It seems I missed a goody. Click here to take a look at it.
I promise you I didn’t jimmy the pictures at all.
According to the prophet for only $3000 dollars I can be a part of the prophetic inner circle for a year, starting from the time I send them the money to the end of the calendar year. Did you get that? There is no pro rating. If I become a part of the inner circle today, it will cost me three thousand dollars and will last until December 2006. If I, for some reason or another, dither around until June to get into the inner circle, it will still cost me three thousand dollars and it will still only last until December of 2006.
How much did Jesus charge the disciples to be a part of His inner circle? Nothing.
How much did it cost the Apostles? Everything.
By the way, here is what the probably unsaved think about the Hilliard shenanigans.
Blessed is He Who Shops at Saks Fifth Avenue By RICK CASEY Houston Chronicle (Feb 14, 2006)
Houston is the fund-raising capital of the world.
Balls, luncheons, golf tournaments: A generous person of wealth could meet his or her nutritional and recreational needs almost entirely at charitable events.
But next month may mark a breakthrough in Houston fundraising for its innovative marketing, its creative packaging.
The fundraiser is for Bridget Hilliard, the energetic and articulate wife and co-minister of Pastor Ian V. Hilliard.
No heresies to rail against today. I just thought I’d do a quick comparison.
John Coleman (Pastor John, or PJ) maintains a website on the West Coast called www.johnecoleman.org. Jamal-Harrison Bryant maintains several websites on the East Coast (www.empowermenttemple.org, www.jamalbryant.org, and www.powermovement.org).
Pastor John has pictures of himself on his site. Sometimes he’s wearing his preacher collar, sometimes he’s with other people, sometimes he’s in the Lucy Coleman Memorial Studio, in front of a microphone. The facilities look as though get used. You can often see books laying around. Some of his pictures are a little fuzzy, some are old, and some were shot a couple of weeks ago.
Jamal-Harrison Bryant has pictures of himself on his site. Sometimes he’s dressed to the T, other times he’s dressed to the T. Every single picture looks as if it were taken and developed by a top-notch photographer. (more…)
I just got a series of e-mails from a fan. The subject was “Hell is Waiting for You.”
Here’s an excerpt of the text of one of his little love letters:
You need to be afraid of the wrath of God that is on your life-taking time out to talk such evil things about the Men and Women of God.
YOU have legions of demons that need to be cast out- AFTER you find the Lord FOR REAL. Evidently you have issues within yourself, and low self-esteem problems, because you are really hating on Pastor Bryant. I am going to pray God expose your mess, and bring you to your knees, that you will repent.
This is very serious what you are doing, you have a spirit of the anti-christ. I come against every demonic force in your life, and I snatch every set-up from the enemy out of the atmosphere. I pray that what you sowed into this Man of God’s life you shall reap 100 fold. You have been assigned by Lucifer himself to tear down great ministries-you are sitting up on your computer listening to the voice of satan-you have no relationship with MY HEAVENLY FATHER. Because he exemplifies love, and not division.
If you think you got it goin on, why dont you start Pastoring, and then we can talk about if you can do it better than everybody else.
The image is a picture of the Nigerian pimp who made the prophecies I published a couple of days ago.
You’ll notice he even has the same stupid phraseology as T. Dexter, Jamal-Harrison, and John Jenkins. What, exactly, is a breakthrough? How does it relate to being born again and steady growth in Jesus Christ? Is it similar to the experiences people promise when they say “Attend this conference! It will completely change your life!!!!”? And why is it that these break through sessions always cost the attendees something…every time they attend.
For instance, how many of you women will admit that thou hast been loosed several times? Or how many of you have heard your anointed preacher say that the message he was about to preach was go to deliver you from this or that?
I was supposed to have a voting capability on the site by now, but my vastly over priced webmaster, who has the gaul to pursue his real job rather than support this site for free, has not been able to make the migration for me. As such, I will have to do this thing the manual way.
Below are the five candiates for the February Luvvy Award. Make your choice, and vote by posting a comment to this posting. The winner will receive the first ever Diamond Encrusted Luvvy Award. The award is made from the best zirconium diamond look alikes and brass that is virtually indistiguishable from gold, as long as no one gets too close to it and as long as they don’t actually touch it. (more…)
I was intrigued by Neeci’s mention of A. E. Abedoye so I did a quick Google. One of the first sites I visited demonstrated that the African continent is rich soil for pimps, and masterful pimps at that.
Here is a list of “prophecies” the good bishop came up with for 2004. (more…)
Riddle me this Batman: How much like the world do you have to be before you are just like the world? For instance, would you expect and obedient group of elders to invite Patti “Vous le Vous” LaBell to sing for the church? I believe most of you would say “no.” And you’d be mighty suspicious of a church that did bring in folks from the outside the way T. Dexter Jakes did for Megamess 2005. But did you know that Club Newbirth, managed by Bishop Eddie Long, is doing exactly the same thing, and this time with the very vulnerable singles in his congregation and around Atlanta? (more…)
