This posting is purely to generate some discussion about the nation and where we stand as a nation, Christian or otherwise. World News Daily has an article, discussing the difficult position the man was in from the outset. It’s posted here. Don’t be too swayed by the relatively heated rhetoric of the reporter. And a tip of the hat to Kyle for telling me about the YouTube and WND posts.

Was this a Christian prayer? If it was, should it have been? If it wasn’t why do you say it wasn’t? Are generic prayers appropriate? Why or why not? Should we even pray at inaugurations? Why or why not?

Laura, I’d be especially interested in your take.

Here’s the prayer Warren gave at the inauguration last Tuesday (ain’t technology wonderful?). The text of the prayer follows.

The Text of the Prayer

Almighty God, our Father, everything we see, and everything we can’t see, exists because of you alone.

It all comes from you, it all belongs to you, it all exists for your glory.

History is your story.

The Scripture tells us, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one.” And you are the compassionate and merciful one. And you are loving to everyone you have made.

Now today, we rejoice not only in America’s peaceful transfer of power for the 44th time, we celebrate a hinge point of history with the inauguration of our first African-American president of the United States.

We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where the son of an African immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven.

Give to our new president, Barack Obama, the wisdom to lead us with humility, the courage to lead us with integrity, the compassion to lead us with generosity.

Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet and every one of our freely elected leaders.

Help us, O God, to remember that we are Americans, united not by race or religion or blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all.

When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us.

When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us.

When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us.

And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches and civility in our attitudes – even when we differ.

Help us to share, to serve and to seek the common good of all.

May all people of good will today join together to work for a more just, a more healthy, and a more prosperous nation and a peaceful planet.

And may we never forget that one day, all nations, and all people, will stand accountable before you.

We now commit our new president and his wife, Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care.

I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life – Yeshua, Isa, Jesus, [Spanish pronunciation], Jesus – who taught us to pray:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

My question: Was this appropriate for the inauguration? Why or why not?

Oh, and a tip of the hat to one of the readers. My internet connection is kind of slow right now, so I can’t switch back and forth quickly. Otherwise, I would give you the name.

Pulpit Pimps | 84 Comments »

(One last visit [for a while] with Joel “Willow Boy” Osteen with a new song by the man with the truly twisted sense of humor. )

Come and listen to a story ’bout a boy named Joel
Keepin’ sheeple happy was his one and only goal
Didn’t need no trainin’ from no fancy Bible school,
To build a congregation of unScriptural fools
(Sheeple that is, darkened souls, Bible free )

Well the first thing you know old Joel’s a millionaire
With just a winning smile and a crop of wavy hair
Don’t know if a Moslem goes to Heaven or to Hell
But he sure do know his way around shampoo and gel.
(Whitening gels, glistening teeth )

Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Joel’s trophy wife
Time to let them get on back to living their best life,
You’re all invited back again to their locality
To have a heaping helpin’ of their happy heresy
(Heresy Hillbillies, that’s what they call ‘em now, nice folks.)

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Pulpit Pimps | 36 Comments »

Mr. Bates is speaking in medical/biological terms. See if his loquacious mutterings make any more sense than Noel Jones’ religious natterings.

A tip of the hat to one of the readers for telling me about it and Jazzique for putting it out there.

Pulpit Pimps | 6 Comments »

Every once in a while I get an urge to keep focusing on one thing. In flying, it’s called fixating. In dating it’s called…well, I guess it’s called stalking. But I like to think at Pulpit-Pimps.Org it’s called getting you, the readers, as much information as we can. Here’s another posting on Willow Boy.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to Joel and I heard him say some things that put him firmly in the Word of Faith camp. I only saw parts of it and I didn’t record it. So I couldn’t even create a transcript.

Well, I was cruising around YouTube the other day and guess what I ran across? That’s right!!! A lot of stuff from the very same speech I saw a while back.

The YouTube poster added some commentary to the clip so I won’t clutter the whole thing up with more verbiage. Needless to say, you should find it interesting - and useful in making sure you have material to tell others about Willow Boy and his excursions into WoF and lies.

To be fair, the string of insanities didn’t occur in the machine gun matter they appear in the clip. Obviously the creator edited the speech, distilling it down to the gems of absurdity you see before you.

Never mistake this man for a pastor. If you’re generous you might be willing to say he’s a Christian. But that’s only if you are generous - really generous. He is not a pastor. He is a motivational speaker of the likes of Tony Robbins or Les Brown. He just has a better smile and a Southern accent.

He is a danger to young Christians, feeding them arsenic laced milk rather than the pure milk of the word. He’s a danger to the unsaved, withholding the preaching of the true Gospel. He preaches a self-esteem/self-improvement/positive thoughts gospel, totally devoid of the power of Christ. He preaches stuff the Mormons would be comfortable presenting in their meetings. I mean for crying out loud, the Mormons sell his books in their bookstores!

Joel Osteen, Pulpit Pimps | 37 Comments »

I went to watch the Noel Jones show Thursday night. Before he spoke, John K. Jenkins, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering, introduced him. While he didn’t heap praises upon him, John did tell us about the church in California. A note to all you Jenkophiles out there - don’t even fix your mouths to say you never heard of John K. Jenkins inviting Noel the Weasel, a Oneness adherent and past representative of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the World (PAW) to speak at the church.

I was hoping he would actually present a meaningful presentation that I could perhaps refer to as a “sermon.” Unfortunately, he didn’t surprise me. It was the Christian’s version of Star Trekian Technobabble.

I understand that he wants to come across like the photo below. But click on the photo and see how he actually comes across.

My apologies to Levar Burton.

While he said some things that were actually good (for example jealousy is over something I possess but envy is over something someone else possesses) I immediately wondered where he got them from. But about five minutes into his talk he said the following:

“I found out that Hebrew is descriptive and Greek is definitive. I’ve spent more time in the defining of Greek thoughts than I have in the descriptions of the Old Testament.

And suddenly some questions arise primarily because of the inability of experience and expectation to clash, based on theological expostulation that didn’t always bring psychological significance. Because in every theology there is psychology. If that were not so then He could not require that we be transformed by the renewing of the mind.

Which means, whatever you expostulate from the platform it’s going to leave a residual psychological effect. So you’re going to put something in my mind based on your concept of God that is either going to give me greater strength or to cripple me. Because in every element there is psychology.

It becomes critical then, when the grace preacher who understands determinism or predestination when he’s forced now to deal with human involvement in the things of God. The line has to be drawn now between what God is doing and what man is doing in partnership with God.

So I took off into the Old Testament and I decided that if I am going to study the Old Testament I would not study the Christians. So I have spent the last four months studying the rabbis, trying to understand the Old Testament in light of those scholars and people who have spent more time in it than we have.

He then read from Exodus, the section where Moses receives the Ten Commandments and his face is shining when he comes off the mountain. His reaction to the narrative?

“The year of manifestation. I want you to look at somebody and tell them: It’s time to shine. It’s your time to shine. We need to say to everybody in America “It’s our time to shine.”

In talking about Adam and Eve, he presents God as saying to us –

God says “If I can manifest myself to you, then I know who I have made.”

Truth be told, I only stayed for 21 minutes of his speech. I drank a lot of coffee during the day and in my rush to get there, I failed to take a preemptive leak before I sat down. I really had to get out of there. But if the second half was anything like the first, I don’t think I missed anything.

Pulpit Pimps | 51 Comments »

(MN: At the further risk of smothering you in posts, I’m putting this up again. Dickkopf and a couple of others reminded me to remind you to help a brovvah out. Josh’s mom is doing well, but she still requires meds - very expensive meds.

And Josh - my apologies for overlooking the re-post. )

Over and over again I rail against the folks who insist that you have to tithe - to them. I rail against the folks who have a vision - one that usually costs tens of millions of dollars to build. I warn you about the people who promise you your coming break through if you give them lots of money so they can continue to enjoy their break through right now.

I point out that giving is a matter of faith. It’s not simply another bill for us to keep track of. It’s not something you do to guarantee that God will bless you - as you count blessing. And it’s certainly not something you should do so that as you bless the Mand of Gawd, God can pour out blessings on you.

You should give where God moves on your heart to give. And you should give as much as God moves on your heart to give. And you should do so because you are acting in faith. Not faith that He will bless you if you give, but faith that you are doing what He would have you to do.

I am presenting an opportunity to give. You will receive no recognition for it. The people you give to will likely never meet you, and you will likely not have the satisfaction of seeing the benefits of your gifts unless the benefactor publicizes it. And even then, the results of the giving may not be what we want them to be.

If you give, it will only be because God has moved on your heart to do so. I won’t know it. The other readers of P-P.org won’t know it. But you may be able to turn it into a great lesson on giving for your children and maybe help pimp proof them.

Josh, a blogger, has some huge medical expenses as a part of his mother’s treatment of cancer. You can get some of the details here.

He has set up a PayPal account and has asked people to make donations for his mother’s medications and chemo treatments. I am presenting to you an opportunity to exercise your faith - not your greed, but your faith.

Any robot can write a check each week for X dollars and give it to an organization. Heck, I do that when ever I pay a bill. But giving isn’t simply paying a bill. It is an act of faith. How do I know God wants me to give here? How do I know how much God wants me to give? How do I know how often or how long God wants me to give?

The average pimp church, or even the average church steeped in tradition, does not require you to consider these questions. “Just give what we tell you to give,” they say, “and you will be blessed. Now shut up and write the check.”

Here is an opportunity to do more than take the easy way out. It’s easy to say “I’m praying for you and your mom, brother.” But what you actually do is much more revealing. Afterall, James did say it’s a bit on the hypocritical side to say “Be healed and get well” and then not do anything to help make it happen. (Yeah, I know. He talked about being fed and warmed. But that didn’t fit in with the contents of the posting. Cut me a little slack here. )

The bottom line - consider if you should give to the “Help Josh’s Mom Get Okay” fund. And if you decide to do so, let me know. But don’t tell me who you are - post an anonymous on this article.

Of course if you don’t give, God’s not going to bless you, your clothes will be consumed by the destroyer, your car will fall apart, your house will need a new foundation, you will lose your job, your wife will divorce you and take the house and your children will come up homosexual. And I won’t even mention the fact that you will get a vicious case of the hives, the grass in your yard will be invaded by grubs and you will draw the attention and the ire of the IRS.

But don’t feel like I’m putting any pressure on you.

Pulpit Pimps | 15 Comments »

I don’t want to flood you in postings, but a reader pointed me to a video created by SolideoGloria on YouTube. And as with most of the stuff you people spot, it proved to be very interesting. The artists are shai linne (did I spell that right?) and Timothy Brindle. I can’t say I know anything about the songsters. Remember, I live a dull and sheltered life here in front of this computer. I never get out. Except a couple of days from now when I venture out to FBCGotK to give a listen to Noel “The Weasel” Jones as he presents his best Christo-babble. Pictures and videos to follow, I hope.

But I digress. I played this video and I had two reactions. First, I felt like I was watching “Pimps on Parade.” The fellow who put the music and images together seems to have hit every major (and not quite major) pimp and pimpette out there. It was encouraging to watch.

Second (and yes, I know some of you think any kind of Rap is a tool of Satan) the words to the song were outstanding. It not only excoriated the pimps, it presented the Gospel, promoted study, warned us of false doctrine and false teachers and insisted we live holy lives, uncluttered by the lusts and cares of this world.

I have to admit I was bobbing my head and tapping my toe as the rapper went through his piece. I felt an urge to go out and buy a five kilowatt sound system to install in my 1992 Honda, letting the holy hip-hop bass muscle its way through the neighborhood, thoroughly irritating everyone up and down my street.

I even saw John K. Jenkins, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering on the video. Although if you ask me, I think he was a little out-classed by the rest of the folks who were on parade. While he’s growing in name and fame, I still tend to see John K. Jenkins as a Big Dog wannabee. But he’s getting close.

Take a look and give a listen.

Pulpit Pimps | 31 Comments »

If you remember, several months ago I pointed out that Joel (Willow Boy) Osteen, when interviewed by Chris Wallace on Fox News, said he believes Mormons were Christians. After all, he said, drawing from his deep theological well, “…when he says that Christ is his savior, to me that’s a common bond.”

I just ran across a James White YouTube posting speaking of Mormonism. He gives a really clear thumbnail presentation of the difference between Mormonism and Christianity. Give it a listen by clicking on the YouTube link below. It’s about 13 minutes long.

And in all of this, note that Mormons use the very same words we use. But they pour a completely different meaning into those words.

Christian? I think not! And I for one, don’t wonder about it at all. They are not.

Doctrine is important. Know what you believe or you’ll end up like Jon Paden when you grow up.

Know how to defend what you believe and why. You’ll be a better Christian for it.

Christian Living | 12 Comments »

A tip of the hat to Amy for spotting this “Devotional” for me.

This is a posting from Ken “I’ve Got Too Many Jets” Copeland’s website. It’s a little long, but please read it. I believe it gets to the crux of the Prosperity and prosperity-type Mega-church issues.

A covenant of grace. That’s what you and I have with Almighty God. If you could truly grasp the significance of that, you’d never be the same again.
What exactly is a covenant of grace? It’s a relationship of favor that gives you access to someone else’s power.
An illustration of a covenant of grace is the covenant the old Sicilian “family” members have with the “godfather” of the “family.”
In that group, a weak person might come in and ask the Don for a favor. The Don would say, “I will grant this favor and I will ask a favor of you, and when that time comes, I will collect it.”
Once that was said, the weak person would become excited. Suddenly he knew he would no longer have this problem because anyone who tried to rough him up would now have to face the godfather, the one with all the power. Suddenly, that little guy’s attitude would change. He would leave the presence of the head of the family in the full assurance that he didn’t have a thing to worry about. He was no longer small and powerless in his own mind. He had gained favor (grace) with the powerful.
He’d walk out thinking, “Everything is handled. All I have to do now is whatever the Don asks me to do–and the Don knows I don’t have anything, so whatever he asks me to do, he’ll provide the wherewithal to do it.”
That’s grace. God’s willingness to enter into blood covenant with you and give you everything He has in exchange for everything you have.
He took your sin to give you His righteousness. He took your sickness to give you His health. He took your poverty in order to meet all your needs according to His riches in glory. Whenever He asks you to do something, He provides everything you need to carry it out.
The great Jehovah, God of heaven and earth, is your Father God. Can you understand that? If you’re under the blood of Jesus, you’ve been made a covenant child of the most powerful being in the universe.
Dare to take your place in the family!

I want to look at some parts of this monstrosity of arrogance and presumption and see if we can see why the Prosperity Gospel tends to be one of arrogance, greed and selfishness. Along the way, we may even discover why most of these folks seem to view God as their own cosmic servant.

That’s grace. God’s willingness to enter into blood covenant with you and give you everything He has in exchange for everything you have.

Notice what Copeland says here. We enter into a blood covenant with God and He gives me everything He has in exchange for everything I have. If you look earlier, you’ll see some of the things don Copleando says God will give us. They include: His righteousness, His health, His riches in glory in exchange for our sins, our sickness and our poverty (physical poverty).

But look at what the Bible says:

Colossians 3:1-3
Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

See anything here that would indicate I’m big stuff in the world? Anything to indicate I should expect riches in place of poverty, or health in place of sickness? Nope, no glory as far as the world is concerned. No guarantee of health, wealth, or power. We are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, but it’s not a suit I managed to buy on my own. It’s clothing God gave to a man (me) who was completely incapable of getting it for myself.

So once the heavenly Godfather makes this covenant with us, what can we expect? Well, according to the God the Father’s Son we can expect the following:

A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!…Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 10:24 -28

Reading this, do you get the idea that Christians should expect a lot of favor from the world? Or that we are going to be treated better than Jesus has been treated? Don Copleando has a twisted idea of what it means to be a Christian. And the don, as the mentor of such pimps as Creflo, Price, and the rest has been very effective in moving the Gospel from a focus on dying to the world, to a focus of seeking to get as much from the world as possible.

They have turned the Gospel upon its head, removing Jesus Christ as the center and replacing him with our greed, our lusts for material treasures, and a desire to be important in the world.
Indeed I am the child of the most powerful person in the universe. But what does this mean? Looking again at Scripture, we see the following:

“Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution,or famine,or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For you sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

Again, does this sound like the life of someone who has a Godfather to make sure no one hassles him? Anything but. Rather it sounds like the man who is learning to trust God the Father in living his life, in growing as Christ works His will in my life. It sounds like the man who has learned to die daily, to deny himself, and to surrender himself to the will of God, however that will may play itself out in his life.

Don Copleando is presumptuous. He presumes to tell God what he is to experience in his life. He presumes to tell God what He is to give him. He presumes to tell God that as His child, he has rights. He fails, or refuses, to recognize that we have no rights in Christ. We who would be obedient to Him, are to consider ourselves his bond slaves, willing to suffer even as He suffered. Again, don Copleando turns the whole thing on its head.

But it’s what makes him so attractive and it’s what made him the Alpha Pimp among the prosperity pimps. After all, who wants to hear “die to self”? Who among those invested in the flesh, are particularly interested in being told that they are to live for Christ rather than themselves, to carry their own crosses (Luke 14:27), or to hate our life in order to keep it to eternal life (John 12:24, 25)?

Stay away from this man and those men like him. They prostitute the Gospel for their gain. They twist it such that what they preach isn’t even recognizable as the Gospel.

Kenneth Copeland, Pulpit Pimps | 27 Comments »