You know, I didn’t realize that wide-girthed weasels could survive for very long in their natural habitats. But apparently they can.

All of you know how virulently anti-catholic John Hagee is. I’ve listened to his broadcast on occasion and have heard him call them some pretty…uh… creative names.

But a couple or three weeks ago, the press brought this fact to the attention of the general public, the unsaved general public. According to Fox News he said something to the effect of:

Hagee, leader of a San Antonio megachurch, has referred to the Roman Catholic Church as “the great whore” and called it a “false cult system” and “the apostate church” — “apostate” means someone who has forsaken his religion.

This kind of language didn’t go over very well with the Catholics, the Democrats, or the Republicans. A firestorm ignited around McCain and, by extension, Hagee. Hagee had spoken his mind and got unexpectedly hammered by the press. I’ll be the portly preacher was a bit surprised by the whole thing.

After a month plus of constant complaints from the press, comparisons to Reverend J Wright, and other such experiences, Hagee apparently had a major epiphany (are there minor epiphanies?). Here’s a portion of the letter the rotund reverend wrote to the Catholic League:

“Out of a desire to advance greater unity among Catholics and Evangelicals in promoting the common good, I want to express my deep regret for any comments that Catholics have found hurtful. After engaging in constructive dialogue with Catholic friends and leaders, I now have an improved understanding of the Catholic Church, its relation to the Jewish faith, and the history of anti-Catholicism.” [WSJ]

Again these people prove they are not the equal of the Reformers. Here’s what Martin Luther said about the Catholic Church/pope:

If the pope were the head of the Christian Church, then the Church were a monster with two heads, seeing that St. Paul says that Christ is her head. The pope may well be, and is, the head of the false Church. Where the linnet is, there is also the cuckoo, for he thinks his song a thousand times better than the linnet’s. Even thus, the pope places himself in the Church, and so that his song may be heard, overcrows the Church. The cuckoo is good for something, in that its appearance gives tidings that summer is at hand; so the pope serves to show us that the last day of judgment approaches. There are many that think I am too fierce against popedom; on the contrary, I complain that I am, alas! too mild; I wish I could breathe out lightning against pope and popedom, and that every word were a thunderbolt. [Luther]

And I daresay he never apologized.

So then is Hagee saying Catholocism is as valid as Christianity? Is he saying that the two are compatible and that we should work together to make the world a better place? It seems to me he’s going to have a hard time explaining the flip-flop to his congregation. I mean, one minute the Catholic Church is just one step below the Antichrist, or at least in bed with him. And the next the church is an entity with which we should have greater unity.

Huh?! Greater unity? What exactly would this unity be based on? Sure, I as an individual can work with Catholics to get stuff done. I can hire them to work in the soup kitchen with me. But do you really think First Baptist Church of Dirtpoor Idaho should join forces with the Church of the Sacred Dirt Scratchers across the street to run a homeless shelter?

While I wouldn’t call the Catholic Church the “great whore,” let’s face it – Catholicism is not consistent with the Bible and people who follow its doctrines will die in their sins. Are the members horrible monsters who want to corrupt the world and make way for the antichrist? Certainly not. My brother and his wife are Catholic and they are nice people. All his children are Catholic. Are they little mini-Harlots? No! Are they Christians? Not from what I can tell, and certainly not as a result of what they believe. But they aren’t horned demons waiting to lure people to their doom either.

If Hagee believed what he said, he should stick with it. And if it makes McCain’s life more difficult, I’m not seeing that as a problem. I never did much like McCain anyway.

Hagee | 33 Comments »

It’s like dealing with Freddy Kreuger or that fellow in the hockey mask. You think you’re rid of the guy and – SURPRISE!! – he pops up again.

Take a look at the web flyer. Yeah, it’s old. The event happened late last month. But the good thing about examples of pimpery is the fact that they are timeless. A pimp event last month is as good an example as a pimp event planned for next month. The only difference is that I might be able to warn some of you away from one scheduled for next month. But I digress.

Take a couple of minutes, go back to the flyer and read it. Try to read all of it, all the details. When you get back, I have a few questions.

First question: Other than supposedly being orchestrated by God, what has God got to do with any of the goings on at the conference? I did a little bit of digging around and many of the speakers are pastors, either of their own churches or along with their husbands. How is this consistent with Scripture?

Second question: How many times have these people offered conferences to help you overcome past hurts, setbacks, and misunderstandings? It seems that between them and Jakes, the women are loosed, restored, transformed and enlightened at least once a week. If folks are attending a functioning church, isn’t that what the people around them are for? Why do you have to travel to another county or state to overcome? Besides, isn’t that overcoming done through the Spirit of God? (Yeah, I know it was more than one question. But as the writer, editor, and publisher of this blog I get to do that every once in a while.)

Third question: Why is that loser JunieB presenting ANYTHING at this conference? Apparently her entire life consists not just of being hurt, but hurting as well. I mean, for goodness sake, JunieB telling us about being a winner is like ex-New York Governor Spitzer telling us about chastity. Or Bill Clinton telling us about honesty.

Fourth question: If this event is so much about Christ, why do they have such things as regular seating and VIP seating? Does the extra 15 bucks make me more important than the slob that comes in with only $25? Do I get to rub elbows with the speakers?

Fifth question: Is it just me or is Bridget actually something of a middle aged babe?

Pulpit Pimps, The Hilliards | 88 Comments »

Some things stay the same no matter where you go, no matter who does it.

The following is an example of what bad doctrine can do. Sincerity is nice. I’m sure all the women writhing on the floor in front of the prophet are sincere. I suspect even the prophet and her translators are sincere as they speak for God and translate.

Of course I would have thought this would be a perfect opportunity for the gift of tongues to be used. But even when everybody broke out in tongues (which sounded awfully similar to the ones we hear back here in the States) no one seemed to be able to understand what was being said.

On the other hand, with the cacophony of shouting and wailing, I’m not sure anyone would have been able to hear a message anyway. Even the prophet got drowned out after a while.

By the way, notice that the “prophet” saw an angle and a white cloud as well. I wonder if they know our buddy Todd.

By the way, thanks to Aubrey. I spotted this clip while I was watching the clips about the man who was raised from the dead.

Christian Living | 36 Comments »

Every once in a while you just want to let people know how things are going with you. And it’s not that everything is going exactly right, just that the things that are going right really make life seem pretty good. (Translation: I’d like to take a moment to exercise my parent/grandparent bragging rights.)

I’ve been kind of busy over the last month or so (around May 16, 2008) and kind of preoccupied. But here are some of the things I was preoccupied with.

My number two son graduated from the University of Maryland Baltimore Campus last week. The university awarded him his MD during their graduation ceremony at 8 o’clock in the morning. He is now Dr. Jones.

He has been working his tail off for the last three years and the payoff finally arrived.

If you remember, he is in the Army (though he was Reserves during school). Right after graduation he was re-commissioned as a captain. And at the end of the month he is to report to Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu to complete his residency. And you’re right, that’s going to be a tough tour. But I guess someone has to make the sacrifice and do it. Too bad though. That means I won’t be able to mooch any kind of free medical care.

Grandson number one (Avery) had a birthday. He is now one year old. His parents had a big bash for him last month. Here’s a solemn looking picture of the little munchkin.

Finally, son number three and his wife are pregnant. They are stationed in Korea, Osan AB. Actually, SHE is stationed at Osan. He is a contractor maintaining sensing devices to support her Air Force unit.

The baby is due in about ten days. They already know the child is a girl and have named her Elizabeth Ruth Jones. Elizabeth is the name of one of the Great-grandmothers on the wife’s side. I’ll likely post a couple of picture of the new baby and the parents shortly after the event.

Uncategorized | 45 Comments »

(MN: The quote is actually from an author by the name of Ryan. It is published through Todd’s site and apparently has his full blessing. However, I mistakenly attributed this specific quote to Todd. )

This is the new face of Christianity, complete with chin stud and brow piercing.

This guy is like the WoFers on steroids. Here’s an except from one of his sermons:

In recent months, the Lord has taken me up several times, in the Spirit, to a particular place in the Heavenly realm. I call this place the land of promises. This place was lush and flourishing with the life of God. The very atmosphere of this place was radiating with the presence of the Lord. It had the feeling of Spring when all things are new and refreshing. All around I could see rainbows reminding me of the promises of God throughout His word and the personal promises and prophecies that have been delivered from His mouth to His people throughout history. I instinctively knew that this was the place where these promises were found, activated, and brought down to the earth realm. God is currently speaking something at this time to the Body of Christ about His promises and the fulfillment of them in these end-times. (Fresh Fire)

Like the rest of the Five Fold/Apostolic/Fresh Revelation crowd, this guy is more than willing to deliver a message that is purely experience based.

This first paragraph, from a “sermon” he delivered is pure experience and completely divorced from anything in the Bible. For instance:

1. The Lord has taken me up several times – And how, exactly, do we know that this experience you had is from God and not Chipotle’s?

2. “The place was lush and flourishing with the life of God” – This sounds nice, but what does it mean?

3. “Atmosphere radiating with the presence of God” – Not only does he make heavy use of the usual Five Fold and WoF language (atmosphere this and atmosphere that), but he even pulls in the “presence” deal. When Israel experienced the presence of God in the Temple, and they had to get out of there. Others got an overwhelming sense of their own unworthiness.

4. “All around me I could see rainbows”… - So how did he know he wasn’t at a Lamda (i.e. homosexual) convention or something?

5. He instinctively knew that the place he was in was the place where God’s promises were found, activated, and brought down to the earth realm – Okay, is this like one of the warehouses that the rest of the WoF flakes natter on about?

6. “God is currently speaking something at this time to the Body of Christ about his promises and the fulfillment of them in these end times” – So again, we have extra-biblical stuff being fed to those who are foolish enough to suck it up

I’m not even going to give much attention to the piercings. Yes, they make him look like some shaman or Durid mystic. They make him look just like the increasingly outrageous folks out there. I’ve gotten to the point that I can at least tolerate a stud in a guy’s ear. I can tolerate it. But it seems that giving way a little only causes the trend to go even further. What next, a belly ring and a couple of nipple rings as well? I wouldn’t even be surprised if he went bare-chested to show of those rings. I know. Maybe he’s imitating Christ who was pierced for our transgressions.

Todd is a prime example of why right doctrine is so very, very important. Listening to his “sermons” it becomes incredibly obvious that he is lying to his audience. No, wait. Let me rephrase that since he may actually believe what he is saying. Listening to his “sermons” it is incredibly obvious that he is feeding them a bunch of lies that, at best, have a passing connection to Scripture and at worst set his audiences up for tremendous losses. I have to wonder how many people have had their faith virtually destroyed by guys like this.

Another section in that same presentation says:

Many of us try and try to see the promises of God’s word fulfilled through some rational ascent and belief in the Word of God. But the Word of God is simply meant to lead us into an encounter with the Author of the book. John 5:39-40 says, “You search the scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.” It’s ludicrous to think that a husband and wife should expect to conceive and give birth to a baby without first experiencing intimacy together. In the same way, we as believers can’t just go to the Word and see the Lord’s promises (of a great healing revival, for example) and expect to see it happen just because we read it. Mighty demonstrations of God’s power and glory are only birthed and manifested on the earth “through” ones who have learned to encounter the Lord in intimacy.

Again, let’s examine his proclamation, recognizing that at best he twists what little scripture he uses, and works without any at all in most areas.

1. “We try to see the promises of God’s word fulfilled through some rational ascent and belief in the Word of God” – How foolish of me. The Bible is simply intended to guide me to an experience.

2. “Mighty demonstrations of God’s power and glory (experience) are only birthed and manifested on the earth “through” the ones who have learned to encounter the Lord in intimacy” – In other words, those who can have certain experiences (real, faked, or imagined) are the ones who have an intimate relationship with Christ. And since he has these experiences around him, then obviously he can tell us about God; and can tell us what God has to say to the church. Never mind the Bible. It means what they say it means.

I tell you again: Right Doctrine is important. In fact, it’s critical. Without it, you are tossed about by every wind of doctrine. Todd says you have to birth Christ and you believe it. Some other Bozo says you have to walk in Apostolic power and authority, and you believe that. But Jesus Christ says you have to be willing to die to yourself before you can bear much fruit. You have to be willing to lose your life in order to keep it to life eternal (John 12:24-26). And let’s face it: Todd’s “promises” are a whole lot more exciting than Jesus’. You can impress and intimidate a lot more folks with Todd’s approach than you can with Jesus’. But Todd’s approach leads only to disappointment and loss. You even run the risk of having Jesus tell you to depart from Him because He never knew you.

Then again, if I go with Todd’s approach, I get to wear a chin stud and all kinds of odd rings on my face. And who wouldn’t want to do that?

Pulpit Pimps, Todd Bentley | 99 Comments »

Always remember – bad doctrine can result in very poor living, and a very smelly bathroom.

Recently a woman and her pastor were busted by the Juneau County Sheriff’s Department in Wisconsin. The crime? Keeping a dead body on the toilet seat in the ONLY bathroom in the house.

At this point you might ask: Why did the woman have a dead body sitting on her toilet?

The answer: Because her pastor/bishop (Alan Bushey) told her that if she prayed hard enough God would bring the woman (Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth) back to life.

Oh, and did I tell you the woman, Tammy D. Lewis, had two children ages 12 and 15 (male and female respectively). They had to use a bucket in the closet as a bathroom.

Am I saying that if you follow T. Dexter, Creflo, or a host of other pimps you might end up with a dead body on your toilet, stinkin’ up the whole house? Certainly not. But you will depart from the truth and power of the Gospel you will miss all of the blessings, the real blessings, God has provided for the believer.

Doctrine is important. Without right doctrine you cannot live the Christian life. Without right doctrine, you cannot grow in Christ; you cannot, as it says in Colossians 1:10 “…be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual understanding…and increase in the knowledge of God.” It just won’t happen.

Instead, you will get wrapped up in chasing money (while looking spiritual), rebuking Satan (while he keeps you blinded), and making your kids go to a closet to take a crap because grandma is sitting on the toilet.

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 31 Comments »

This is such an easy job! The fish practically jump in the boat! And I don’t have to go looking under every rock for these creepy critters. They come to me and let me know what they are doing. In fact they often brag about it

Take T. Dexter for example. He had his “Back2Bible” conference coming up in about a week. And they’re going to have some dynamite teachers/preachers covering some dynamite topics. In fact, according to the flyer on T. Dexter’s site, they promise that “(F)undamental philosophies such as redemption, salvation, prayer, the blood covenant and the resurrection will all be discussed during this three-day event.”

Hold on there cowboy!! Philosophies? Since when are the central teachings of Christianity simply philosophies? Philosophies are systems of principles for guidance in practical affairs. Redemption is not a principal. It’s not a philosophy. God’s covenant with man is not a principle. It’s certainly not a philosophy. And certainly the resurrection is not a philosophy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (or in the case of the Pimps – do unto others before they do unto you) is a philosophy.

T. Dexter Jakes – the next Billy Graham. Right.

In Back2 Bible, T. Dexter is presenting such luminaries as Ken Ulmer and Tommy Tenney. And notice they are described as great orators. So this means what? That we’ll be impressed with their speaking skills while they feed us lies and errors? Apparently so.

Here’s a mug shot of the perpetrators. And as usual, they are regular founts of screwed up doctrine and pimpological expertise extraordinaire.

As an example, Tommy Tenney is the author of “The God Chasers” and “God’s Dream Team”. Here’s a quote from “The God Chasers”:

My life changed forever on the October weekend in Houston, Texas, when God’s presence invaded the atmosphere like a thunderbolt and split the podium at the Sunday service.
Chapter 6, page 83.

In “God’s Dream Team” he says:

There have always been dreamers. Men and women who catch a glimpse of something beyond themselves who dare to reach for goals and visions … Yet no earthly dreamer can match the greatest of them all, the Dreamer who died on the cross to make His dream a reality. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word.” The literal meaning of logos, the original Greek term translated as “Word,” is idea, thought or blueprint. It is an ancient Greek theatrical term describing the work of a playwright as he conceives, or dreams up, the plot of a play. So we could say, “In the beginning was the dream
God’s Dream Team, page 22

Did you catch that? One of the featured speakers at T. Dexter’s conference says Jesus was a dreamer. In fact, at the end he says that Jesus is the dream.

By the way, though he doesn’t exactly advertise it, Mr. Tenney is a Oneness proponent as well. Shouldn’t be surprised though. After all, T. Dexter is a Oneness preacher too. But neither of these guys has ‘nads to say so. After all, people aren’t quite stupid enough to completely ignore the fact that he denies one of the central tenets of Christianity. They’re getting there, but they’re not there just yet.. And as you would expect, Tenney’s theology is just as screwed up as T. Dexter’s.

Then there’s the woman preacher, Bishop Dr. Cynthia James. I can just see it now. T. Dexter has been busy feminizing men for the last ten years. Now he brings in a woman to ramp up the feminization efforts even more. And of course, she has ties, through folks like Dave Copeland (an up and coming Word of Faith fellow out of Texas [of course], to Fred Price, the Apostate Apostle of Word of Faith poison.

Ken Ulmer runs a church out of an old coliseum in Los Angeles. And during the week, to pay for the place, he rents it out to various rock groups and other performers of…uh…questionable character. He’s also the guy who, several years ago, came up with the book “A New Thing,” in which he proposes that many of the unbiblical practices and teachings he and his ilk are promoting are not wrong. They are simply new. Thus the non-stop screeching and hollering during that which they call worship are something new, not something stupid. Of course you wouldn’t expect an associate of T. Dexter to be any better at understanding God than the man the world is trying to give us to be the next great theologian of the church.

But enough of these clowns. Let’s take a look at one of my favorite pimps – Fast Eddie Long.

Fast Eddie is working a slightly new angle now. Here’s a shot from Fast Eddie’s web page What’s one of the first things you notice about it? Time’s up!!

That’s right! As usual, the entire site content focuses on Fast Eddie. There is a mention of God in Fast Eddie’s note to you. But that’s it. The rest of the stuff is Fast Eddie’s name, Fast Eddie’s picture, information about conferences featuring Fast Eddie or his wife, Mrs. Fast Eddie.

I’ve been watching some of Fast Eddie’s “sermons” lately. And though I have to fight the urge to whisper “Watch this! Watch this!” when I give a briefing at work, I’m going start on summarizing some of the poisoned pabulum and heresies he has been developing over the last year.

The man isn’t simply a pimp. He is a pimp’s pimp. In fact, I think he should get rid of the remodeled Benz he drives and start tooling around in this car. It fits his character and his scams much better. And yes, you’re right, that’s Ron O’Neal’s car from Super Fly (a movie that was out back when I had hair on the top of my head).

Stay away from these pimps. Stay away from anyone associated with these pimps. Any pastor who would associate with these men and women is either too stupid to understand that they are hurting you or they are too greedy to care about your spiritual health. And either of those possibilities says you need to find another church before you are dragged down into heresy, futility, and foolishness. If you want a sign indicating wether or not you should leave a church, look at the events schedule in your church program or the bulletin board and see who your elders are associating with. And if any of these pimps’ names appear there, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

Eddie Long, Fred K. C. Price, Pulpit Pimps, T. Dexter Jakes | 68 Comments »