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Archive for July, 2007

Basics of the Faith - Planning and Reminding

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 31st, 2007

July 30 UPDATE

John is due into BWI at 5:25 on Friday afternoon (3 August). I will then have to get him all the way down 297 (afterwork traffic) and into the church in less than an hour. I suspect we will be a little late. Get there at 6:30 pm, but if we are late, it won’t be because we were dragging our feet.
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Remember - you can go to John’s site to get the information as well:

The Agenda:

6:30-7:00 Formats and getting acquainted time.
7:00-9:30 Basics Introduction and discovering biblical theology.
9:30-10:00 Q & A for Pastor John ending in prayer. (more…)

The Sheeple Speak

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 31st, 2007

Boardmanudobi just put out an article on why the Wolves are able to keep feeding on the sheeple. Not a couple of days later, your humble servant gets a comment that sounds as if it was written by one of the sheeple, or by one of the pimps. I can’t decide which would make more sense. I decided, as I sometimes do, to make the comment a part of a posting. It is simply too delicious to relegate to the bowels of the comment section. It’s an excellent illustration of why the Wolves are in no danger of starving or being forced to go get real jobs.

The lady sounds sincere. And she isn’t being particularly combative. In addressing this target rich comment, I will actually try to be nice and play it as straight as I can. But I guarantee you it’s going to be hard.

Incidentally, I did break the comment into paragraphs to make it a little easier to read. (more…)

The Top Ten Statements That Keep the Wolves Fat

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 28th, 2007

People seem to like lists. And they work really well for Dave Letterman. Well, here are the Top Ten Sayings that enable the pimps to keep making money.

    10. Matthew 7:1 says judge not

    9. Touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm

    8. Keep your mouth off the man of God

    7. Who are you to judge another man’s servant?

    6. You must be jealous

    5. pray that God open up your eyes for a manifestation of the apostolic anointing - Ooh shalla bang bang, tonto comes ina honda!

    4. You need to allow the spirit to work in your life

    3. I hope you die and go to hell

    2. I hope your kids turn out to be gay.

    And the number one saying that enables the pimps to keep making money is:

    1. You need to keep your @#%^$# mouth shut or else….

And all the while they fork over their money to the pimps and the pimpettes.

An Endless Supply of Pimps, An Endless Supply of Sheeple

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 22nd, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, patrons of Pulpit-Pimps.org, I have to admit that this avocation of mine has proven to be very interesting. It has allowed me to see both the rational and straight up irrational sides of those who profess to worship God.

One of the things you don’t see in the day-to-day operation of this site is the behind the scene communications I have with various folks. Some are quite pleased with the site and are very generous in their compliments and testimonies. Some have offered advice which I have taken and improved the site. And some…well…some demonstrate to me that my job is not close to being done.

One commenter asked “Why do you keep doing stories on these guys? Why don’t you move on to something else?”

My response? “People need to be warned over and over again. You can’t just warn them once.”

I got an e-mail the other day that illustrated this need in spades. I asked the writer if I could use the e-mail here on the site. The writer graciously agreed.

Here is the text of the e-mail, no format changes, not grammar or spelling corrections. It is exactly as I received it , shouting and all. Oh, I know the writer understands the concept of caps being the equivalent of shouting because the response to my request was in normal upper and lower case text.

Here’s the message: (more…)

The Preterists’ (Who Visit This Site) Best Shot

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 15th, 2007

(MN: As a preface to the article, and to keep us from going in too wide a circle too many times, I will allow you to comment on this article, and to comment back and forth until Wednesday evening. My reason? Neither side is going to convince the other that their view is the right one. And while I do want discussion [discussion usually forces the defender to think his or her position through more clearly], I do not want repetition or elevated … animosity. Talk as much as you are interested. I will likely put a new posting out Monday or Tuesday. (more…)

Breath Taking

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 11th, 2007

I had said I would not reference Little Stevie Wonder much more on Pulpit-Pimps. The trouble is I visit there every once in a while because I find his general approach to be amusing at the very least.

But every once in a while, I am left speechless when I see some of the things he says and some of the folks he promotes. The latest is Reverend Henry Lyons.

You don’t remember Henry Lyons? Check this out.

If you mozey on over to LSW’s site, you will see Lyons being promoted.

Granted, a man can turn from his sins and repent. But somehow, and maybe it’s just me, I have a little trouble seeing any kind of a real change. If nothing else, it makes no sense for a man with his reputation to still be a leader within the Baptist Convention.

It’s almost as if LSW gives his full attention to style and virtually no character - or content for that matter. As you listen, see if you can count all the additions the Right Reverend Lyons makes to the passage he is preaching from.

Pimp o’the Month Contest

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 10th, 2007

Pimp o'the Month

Now that the readership is a bit larger, and I have more eyes out in the community, this may be a good time to bring back the PIMP O’ THE MONTH contest. The last time I ran it (over two years ago, two people responded - and one of them was me.

By the way, here is the first candidate suggested by Anonymous (who may actually tell his/her name later on).

I would like to nominate for pimp of the month: Bishop Donald Hillard of Cathedral International in Perth Amboy, NJ. His stated membership is 7,000. He has amor bearers and travels and preaches to other churches in the area. He has a bookstore with books by TD Jakes, Juanita Bynum, etc. website www.thecathedral.org.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have decided to make this a much more interactive site. In order to involve you in the contents with more than just comments, I have decided to initiate a contest.

The pimps and pimpettes are out there. While I want to concentrate on the national Big Dogs and the Big Dog wannabees in my area, I would also like to help people who may need to be informed of their local pimps and pimpettes.

The rules are fairly simple.

1. If you think you know a pimp (or pimpette) operating in your local area, tell me about him (or her).

2. Give me specifics. The fact that they drive a big car or has a large audience is not an automatic indicator of his pimpism. But it’s a start.

3. If the candidate is involved with the Word Faith idiocy, say so.

4. If they have a web site, include it in your comments.

5. If the church is pastored by a woman, or if the church has a husband/wife team as co-pastors, include it.

6. If the pastor has armor bearers (read here - butlers and drivers) include that information.

7. If the church has more than 1000 members (yes, I pulled that number out of my…arm pit) include that information.

8. If the pastor travels a lot to preach at other churches, include that fact.

9. If the church has a book store and they sell books by Word Faith phoneys tell me. Mention some of the titles.

10. A ten point bonus if the church’s book store sells Benny Hinn books such as “Good Morning Holy Spirit!”

11. The decision of the judge is final.

12. There will be no one there to validate my findings.

I will take the submissions and, after scoring the candidates with my secret formula, identify the pimp o’ the month.

The pimp o’ the month will be announced on the 15th of each month, except this month ’cause a contributer just reminded me that the contest is out there and it’s too close to the 15th. I’ll announce the winner on the 20th instead. .

Extra points if you can provide a picture of the pimp candidate or is his site has a picture of him - or her.

I’m toying with the idea of sending the submitter of the winning candidate some cheap token prize. But I haven’t decided on that just yet. I’ll decide later on. At a minimum I will say nice things about you and maybe prophesy something really positive into your life (for a small love offering of course).

If nothing else, we can start identifying the bush league Wannabes and maybe slow their growth a little. After all, I said, holding my hands to my heart, if I can save one man or woman from becoming a pimp/pimpette then all the effort with this site has been worth it.

The Faces of Christianity

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 8th, 2007

Jamal and Arm Candy

I was on my way home from Safeway on the morning of July 4th when I noticed the C29 bus turning up into the medical center spur. And what should I see on the side of the bus but one of my favorite testimonies to shameless self-marketing - Jamal-Harrison Bryant and his arm candy, Giselle Bryant.

I quickly parked my car, got my cheap phone camera ready and stood by the side of the road waiting for the bus to come out of the cul de sac. A couple of minutes later, the bus rumbled around the bend in the road and obligingly stopped right in front of me. Okay, so there was a traffic light and he had to stop. (more…)

John in a Few Years? God, I Hope Not!

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 5th, 2007

John to Bill

The video you are about to see scared me. It scared me because it was so easy to see John K. Jenkins, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden, in the place of the pimp standing there. And the reason it’s scary is because I don’t believe Mr. Winston has always operated with all the acoutrement of a Word of Faith pimp. I fear that unless John Jenkins draws back from the path he is on, rubbing elbows with Oneness Bigdogs, following after Word of Faith foolishness, and generally being willing to sell out the truth for gain, he will become like this man, William (Bill) S. Winston. Or perhaps I should say he will become more and more like this man.

Take a look at the video. It’s about five minutes long. While watching it, notice that he preaches the same Word of Faith drivel that comes out of the mouths of Cashflow, Copeland and the rest. He pretty much removes God and His will in the whole thing.

He says such things as:

1. No one can keep you from success but you.

2. If Jesus Says you’re a millionaire, you’re a millionaire!

3. What you’re going to do is call: Money Comin’

One thing you should understand is that Mr. Winston has appeared on television with Ken Copeland. Take a look at the screen shot from Mr. Copeland’s website.

Winston and Copeland together

John seems to be following in the man’s footsteps. He’s busy working on growing the church into a larger building rather than growing the members into stronger Christians. And you should note that in the early part of John’s quest for Big Dogdom, he was actually a warm up act for a conference featuring Ken Copeland. If he plays his cards right, he might be able to appear on the man’s television show!

Like Winston and the rest of the “gospelpreneurs” John bought an airplane and uses it to travel around the country, making a name for himself.

He’s teaching more and more of the Word of Faith foolishness and having more to do with the pimps who promote the foolishness. Remember, T. Dexter is now his “mentor”.

And like Mr. Winston, John is taking the congregation nowhere.

Of course it should be pointed out that Jenkins isn’t unique in what he’s doing. He, like Winston is simply following the template laid down by such luminaries as Hilliard, T. Dexter Jakes, Dollar and his arm candy Taffi, Price, Long, Copeland, DuPantis, Avanzini, and the rest of the Big Dog pulpit pimps.

I hope John doesn’t sell out completely. I hope he pulls back and returns to his earlier efforts to put together a solid sermon, rightly dividing the word. But I fear the lure of riches is pulling him away, as it has countless other men. It shouldn’t be too long before John has two churches, one on either end of Prince Georges county. Or maybe he’ll get a church going in Richmond. That way he can use his plane to fly down there every Sunday, build up his flying hours, and get paid for flying.

You people who escaped FBC Glenarden, pray for the man. You people who are still there and hanging on his every word…well, do what you can. But I suspect that won’t be very much.

John’s Coming to Town

Posted by Melvin Jones on July 3rd, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, in one month, John Coleman will be coming to Prince Georges County to present his traveling “Basics of the Faith”.

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks trying to locate a space for us. I had thought perhaps I could hold the session in one of the hotels around here. The average cost for just Saturday? $2000. After I picked my teeth up from the floor, I attempted to be a bit more creative in coming up with a resource. No dice.

But that’s not why I’m writing this posting.

I need a head count of who is going to attend. A couple of people said they are planning on it. However, I, that is, some demon - yeah that’s it - some demon made me misplace the names and e-mails/comments of the folks who said they are attending. If you would, please let me know if you are planning on attending. The e-mail address is in the image below. I did that so I wouldn’t get a bunch of junk e-mails from web-crawlers and other creations of unpleasant people who frequent the web.

Write me today - I will then send you my phone number and I can continue planning for the session.

I look forward to meeting you. I’ve spoken to some of you, and I’ve heard some of you on a couple of radio broadcasts. But it will be good to see you in the flesh.

I’ll try to get rid of my horns by then (Friday and Saturday - August 3 and 4th).