This is great! I just found out how to be a pastor even if I don’t have the time to study, to pray, or to do any of the things I thought I would have to do if I were to be a shepherd of God’s sheep. I just found out I can BUY sermons - written by someone else; written by someone with a Masters of Divinity and a Doctorate, so I’ll sound really smart.

Click on the thumbnail below and you can find out how to be prepared every single Sunday without once opening your Bible during the week.

Notice the text on the web page. It seems to be pretty much all over the place. He says:

1. The site is for “…busy pastors on the move.” Did it occur to this dingo that if the pastor is so “on the move” that he doesn’t have time to study and prepare a sermon, then perhaps he’s too on the move. Or perhaps he shouldn’t be a pastor.

2. He says the sermons transcend race but describes the sermons as “one of the largest collections of sermons in the African-American pulpit tradition.” And the site’s name is “Black Sermons dot com.” I guess what he means here is he wants to make sure all preachers, Black and White, feel welcome to spend their money on his tripe.

3. If you’re too lazy to do any work at all, you can take part in the quarterly plan and you’ll get a FUNERAL sermon and a free Bible Study. I know I’m impressed. And since most folks don’t generally attend multiple funerals, you can even recycle the funeral sermon. All you have to do is be sure to remember the name of the dearly departed you’re saying goodbye to and not mix it up with the last dearly departed you said goodbye to.

4. And if I’m really lazy and a consummate procrastinator (which, as most of you readers know by now that I am), it seems “Saturday orders are emailed the SAME DAY.” Now I can wait until the very last minute (being on the move all this time) and still get the script for the next day. Ain’t technology wonderful.?

Maybe it’s just me, but I think this is a shame. It is a shame for Dr. Durham to offer the service and it’s a shame for ANY self-respecting pastor – or general preacher – to use such a service. This is even worse (if you can graduate sin) than copying some one else’s term paper. At least with the term paper, you actually make the effort to copy it. With this scam, you don’t even have to make the effort to copy it. It’s delivered to your computer, typed and ready to go.

Of course there are men out there who do use this kind of service. And most of them are, as the good doctor said, on the move all the time. The one that comes most readily to mind is Fast Eddie of Club New Birth in Hotlanta. Do you remember when he stood up and said that he had a message for the congregation FROM the Holy Spirit? Apparently the Holy Spirit had an e-mail for Fast Eddie, not a message for the congregation.

The pastors/elders’ job is to feed the sheep, to aid them in becoming self-sustaining and encourage them to work with each other to accomplish the work that God established for each of us from before the foundation of the world. (Ephesians 2:9-10) If they aren’t doing that, then they aren’t doing their jobs. And getting sermons through e-mail rather than study and prayer, doesn’t count.

Even the Apostles recognized this. Take a look at Acts, chapter 6 around verse 2. The Apostles, in trying to deal with an issue that had arisen, made it clear their first duty was to pay attention to the word of God, apparently in its study and preaching. Their first priority was to be preaching and teaching (as was done in the homes of the disciples).

This in no way matches the model being encouraged by Durham. If you’re too busy to study, then let him send you a sermon. Doesn’t it occur to these bozos that if you are too busy to study, you are too busy?

I called Dr. Durham’s business a couple of days ago and I called again today to ask them why they are providing sermons to people to preach as if they were their own. There was no answer the other day. I’ll try again today.

By the way, I can’t even see the sermon before I buy it. But he does provide a sample of his work. Click here for a view.

Pulpit Pimps | 28 Comments »

You people in Houston, you now definitely have a choice.

If you are tired of getting pimped by the likes of I.V.and his wife Gree Dee Hilliard, there are choices, choices that don’t include Joel “Willow Boy” Osteen.

Some readers have asked if I can recommend a good church where they live. Usually the answer is “no” since I don’t know folks in other cities. However, here is an exception.

In Houston a group of people have established a church. You can visit the website here.

The reason I am willing to recommend this church, a church I have never visited, is because I know the man who has been working to establish that church.

I have known Saiko Woods for several years. During that time he has demonstrated himself to be a man who is willing to stand on the Bible and follow Christ no matter the cost. And it has cost him at times.

So here are your choices:

1. You can attach yourself to Willow Boy, the Hilliards or a host of other scammers in some really fine facilities. Then you can listen to these men and women lie to you, mislead you, take your money, and stunt your growth as a Christian.

2. You can check out His Word His Way – currently meeting in an apartment. There you will hear the Word of God expounded with skill and dedication to the truth. And you will be challenged in your growth as a Christian.

Maybe it’s just me, but this isn’t a hard choice. On the other hand, Reformation Alive Baptist Church, the church I’m a part of, meets in the great hall of a Lutheran church in southern Prince Georges County and I’m just fine with that. And it’s twenty-two miles from my house. And we have to set up tables and chairs for Bible study every Thursday night. Then we have to put the chairs and tables away.

If you are really pursuing God’s Truth in Houston, give Saiko a call and visit the church.

This is where you get to figure out if you are more interested in content than accoutrement.

Pulpit Pimps | 20 Comments »

Okay, maybe Chick tracts aren’t exactly art in the strictest sense of the word. And while I don’t always agree with the contents of all of the Chick tracts, they do a wonderful job of illustrating many aspects of the truth of the gospel. And one of them, “One Way” does a really good job of illustrating the One Way without using a single word. Okay! So it only uses six words.

Every time I watch the railing against Joel Osteen by the street preacher, that tract comes to mind.

Take a quick look at the YouTube video again. You don’t have to watch the whole thing. Just watch the people as they go marching blindly past the preacher proclaiming the truth. The first twenty or thirty seconds is plenty to get the idea. Here’s the video.

Here is an excerpt from “One Way”, the wordless tract:

Click on the image to see the entire tract.

Maybe it’s just a stretch, but do you see any similarities?

Pulpit Pimps | 17 Comments »

I listen to Pentecostals, Charismatics, and various second wave and five fold ministry pretenders and I have to wonder how they see the universe, how they see Satan, and how they see God. Well, I don’t really have to wonder. Their words tell me more than enough.

Visit with a Pentecostal long enough and you will hear them “binding Satan.” You have to wonder, do they believe when they say this phrase, especially with Jesus’ name tucked on the end (you know - “In Jesus name!”) Satan is unable to function and has to stop whatever he’s doing. Never mind the fact that in Jude Michael, the Archangel, one of the angels, the head honcho, was never even willing to TRY to “bind” Satan.

I’m sure Denise, the woman who submitted this “prayer” as a comment is completely sincere and is totally convinced their recital has accomplished something. Even as I’m sure the women who railed against the preacher outside Willow Boy’s motivational speaking event were quite sincere. Their display starts around 0:50.

But it goes to the fact that the men and women who sit under the pimps are completely oblivious to who God is, who Satan is, and what, exactly, our “rights” as Christians actually are.

Let’s step through it and see what we come up with. First, the whole prayer. Then let’s look at it in chunks.

By the way, this entire prayer was directed at Independent Conservative, not me. And she shouts the entire time. Maybe she wanted to make sure Satan could hear it when he read it.

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH, I COME AGAINST THE PRINCE-RULING SPIRIT AND ALL SPIRIT GUIDES. I COME THROUGH THE BLOOD OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, IN THE NAME OF JESUS. I PARALYZE YOU AND SILENCE YOU, FORBIDDING YOU FROM INFLUENCING OR STRENGTHENING (Independent Conservative Spirit) IN THE NAME OF JESUS, RIGHT NOW!

WE ARE DESTROYING YOUR VERY WORKS: THE SPIRITS OF HATE, BITTERNESS AND MURDER, SPIRITS OF ENVY AND JEALOUSY, SPIRITS OF WIZARDRY, SORCERY AND ALL YOUR CO-SPIRITS, YOUR WORKS, YOUR POWERS, YOUR INFLUENCES ARE DESTROYED IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
I PARALYZE YOU, ALL, RIGHT NOW. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO USE THIS SOUL ANY LONGER AGAINST THE CHURCH (OR Men and Women of God), IN THE NAME OF JESUS.
I COME AGAINST THE SPIRIT OF BLINDNESS, BINDING THE SPIRITS OF BONDAGE AND HEAVINESS, FEAR AND HATE.

I PRAY, LORD, THAT YOU WILL OPEN their EYES SO THEY CAN SEE THE GLORY OF JESUS. OPEN THEIR HEARTS SO THAT THEY CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE. BREAK THE YOKES IN THEIR LIVES AND GIVE THEM LIBERTY IN THEIR SOUL, THAT HE MAY BE FREE TO REPENT. SHOW THEM EVERY EVIL WORK AND EVERY EVIL DEED THEY’RE GUILTY OF, AND LORD JESUS, CONVICT THEIR HEARTS UNTO REPENTANCE. BRING THIS SOUL OUT OF DARKNESS; SAVE THIS SOUL SO THAT YOU MAY HAVE THE GLORY.

SATAN, I SILENCE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS, BINDING ALL YOUR INTERFERENCE. YOU WILL NOT INTERFERE WITH THESE SOULS AND THEY WILL HAVE THEIR OWN FREE WILL CHOICE SO AS TO MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS IF THEY WANT TO REPENT. THEY WILL DO IT WITHOUT YOUR INTERFERENCE.

ALSO, LORD JESUS, I PRAY THAT YOU WILL RELEASE WARRING ANGELS TO WAGE WAR AGAINST THESE DEMONIC ACTIVITIES, AND WILL SEND MINISTERING SPIRITS TO MINISTER TO HIS SOUL.

First paragraph

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH, I COME AGAINST THE PRINCE-RULING SPIRIT AND ALL SPIRIT GUIDES. I COME THROUGH THE BLOOD OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, IN THE NAME OF JESUS. I PARALYZE YOU AND SILENCE YOU, FORBIDDING YOU FROM INFLUENCING OR STRENGTHENING ( Independent Conservative Spirit) IN THE NAME OF JESUS, RIGHT NOW!

Again, looking at Jude 9 for our example, Michael, the Archangel, did not feel up to binding Satan, or even rebuking Satan. He defers to the Lord (GOD) rebuking Satan. It’s awfully presumptuous to think I could exercise such authority. Besides, if I could do that, don’t you think I’d go to hospitals and bind Satan in the misery that exists there?

Apparently, by making this arrogant statement, I can 1) Paralyze Satan, 2) Silence Satan, 3) Forbid him from strengthening (whatever that is).

This goes beyond stupid and approaches dangerously deluded. )

WE ARE DESTROYING YOUR VERY WORKS: THE SPIRITS OF HATE, BITTERNESS AND MURDER, SPIRITS OF ENVY AND JEALOUSY, SPIRITS OF WIZARDRY, SORCERY AND ALL YOUR CO-SPIRITS, YOUR WORKS, YOUR POWERS, YOUR INFLUENCES ARE DESTROYED IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

“We destroy your every work”…if that’s so, why does Satan remain so active and effective? I mean there are thousands of people praying this insipid prayer. If all of his works are destroyed, we should be living in a paradise. There should be no bullies, no unkind words, no theives, no difficulties of any kind. Afterall, the works of Satan are destroyed. Right?

I PARALYZE YOU, ALL, RIGHT NOW. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO USE THIS SOUL ANY LONGER AGAINST THE CHURCH (OR Men and Women of God), IN THE NAME OF JESUS.
I COME AGAINST THE SPIRIT OF BLINDNESS, BINDING THE SPIRITS OF BONDAGE AND HEAVINESS, FEAR AND HATE.

Apparently, not only can we paralyze Sata, but we can also paralyze a bunch of demons. I guess I have to be careful driving on the beltway. I wouldn’t want to run over any of them as they lay there paralyzed. And I guess we don’t even consider free will here. After all, this bimbo prays and the demons can’t speak. They can’t move. They can’t do the things they want to do. So will this work if I’m being mugged by the Internal Revenue Service?

I PRAY, LORD, THAT YOU WILL OPEN their EYES SO THEY CAN SEE THE GLORY OF JESUS. OPEN THEIR HEARTS SO THAT THEY CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE. BREAK THE YOKES IN THEIR LIVES AND GIVE THEM LIBERTY IN THEIR SOUL, THAT HE MAY BE FREE TO REPENT. SHOW THEM EVERY EVIL WORK AND EVERY EVIL DEED THEY’RE GUILTY OF, AND LORD JESUS, CONVICT THEIR HEARTS UNTO REPENTANCE. BRING THIS SOUL OUT OF DARKNESS; SAVE THIS SOUL SO THAT YOU MAY HAVE THE GLORY.

Hold on there cowgirl. What happened to free will? Don’t you talk about it in the next paragraph? So which is it? Is He going to bring them out of darkness even if they don’t want to be brought out of darkness?

SATAN, I SILENCE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS, BINDING ALL YOUR INTERFERENCE. YOU WILL NOT INTERFERE WITH THESE SOULS AND THEY WILL HAVE THEIR OWN FREE WILL CHOICE SO AS TO MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS IF THEY WANT TO REPENT. THEY WILL DO IT WITHOUT YOUR INTERFERENCE.

Okay, we know for sure this woman is of the opinion that Satan, that greasy little rebel, can control us but God, the creator and LOrd of the universe, can’t. Do you understand how much raw power the lady is giving to Satan? He’s a grubby little liar and he gets to do stuff God can’t do. Of course she spends most of the time praying to Satan so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

ALSO, LORD JESUS, I PRAY THAT YOU WILL RELEASE WARRING ANGELS TO WAGE WAR AGAINST THESE DEMONIC ACTIVITIES, AND WILL SEND MINISTERING SPIRITS TO MINISTER TO HIS SOUL.

Warring Angels. That sounds like a pretty good video game. But it doesn’t sound like anything within the Bible. The closest we get to something like this is the quick narratives that talk about Satan and his band getting kicked out of Heaven.

I want you to understand that this lady has accepted every thing the five fold liars have fed to her. She arrogant, biblically illiterate, and completely self-deceived. She actually thinks she can influence the behavior of Satan. So what was Job missing? Why didn’t he bind Satan? On the other hand, if God is doing in her life the same sort of thing He did in Job’s life, where does the get the ‘nads to assume she can keep him from his task?

You have to feel sorry for people like this. She has no idea what it means to be a Christian. She has no idea about humility, dependence on Christ, or the idea of suffering for Christ. And it is very likely that 10 years from now she will either an agnostic or in exaclty the same place spiritually that she is right now.

Pulpit Pimps | 119 Comments »

Avishalom brought to my attention a video that has been making the rounds on YouTube. But before you look at it, take a look at these sections of scripture and remember that the Pentecostals/Charismatics say God heals today just like He did then.

Take a few minutes and go review these passages in the Bible, that document most of the pimps and pimpettes count on you not reading

1. Acts 3:1 – 8 The lame guy healed at the Gate Beautiful

2. John 9:7 – 11 The fellow born blind and healed by Jesus

3. Mark 2:3 – 13 The fellow healed after being lowered through the roof while Jesus was teaching

4. Acts 20:0 – 10 Eutycus, who should have been paying attention but fell asleep and fell out of a third floor window

Do you see any kind of commonality between these incidents? Sure. The lame guy was healed completely. Even though he hadn’t been able to walk, the atrophy in his legs was gone. He could stand. He could even leap. Do you understand how much coordination is needed to leap?

The blind guy went from having been blind at birth to being able to see (and being able to assimilate what he saw for the first time), immediately. There was no gradual (as in weeks and months of repair) improvement.

The crippled fellow, who was lowered into the room where Jesus was preaching, was healed and was able to stand up, pick up his nap time mat and walk out of the place. It was immediate and it was obvious.

The poor schlep who fell asleep and fell out of the third story window was revived, immediately. No broken bones, no internal bleeding, no double vision from hitting his head against the pavement at the end of the three story fall. There was no shouting, there were no pseudo-tongues, there was no nothing.

In each one of these, there was no shouting, there was no jumping up and down, and there was no supposed babbling in tongues. There were no theatrics. Instead, God acted, the person was completely healed, and glory was given to God. The validity of Jesus’ ministry was demonstrated. The truth of what the Apostles were saying was verified and the Son of God was glorified.

Now take a look at this video, or at least as much of it as you can stomach.

Can you see any difference between what Jesus, Peter, Paul and the rest did as compared to the circus at Sheryl Brady’s church?

No? Well, let’s compare.

1. The healing by Jesus, Peter and Paul was immediate and obvious. The “healing” shown on the video took at least one half hour of jumping up and down, shouting, babbling in pseudo-tongues, and a whole lot of carrying on. Peter didn’t pray. He didn’t tell the man he had to have faith. He didn’t tell the crowd going into the temple to point to the man. And he didn’t hold his hand on the man. Yet the man was completely healed. Jesus did it so those around Him would know he had the power to forgive sin.

2. AFTER the healings, the people praised God. The people came to Peter and John for an explanation and the two of them were able to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A video of the healings didn’t go viral, the temple didn’t increase its membership, and Paul didn’t get promoted to bishop with a bunch of other churches under him.

3. While a crowd may have been around, the miracle itself was not the focus of the crowd. The results were the focus and the results provided an opportunity for the Apostles to tell the crowd about Jesus Christ, right then and right there.

Here are some of the details of the healing at Sheryl’s church:

1. Folks, including Sheryl, were spouting pseudo-tongues. The ten megawatt speaker system made sure every one heard them. There was no translation.

2. The crowd was focused on the little girl. Well, except for the folks who were holding their faces, bending over, and getting otherwise distracted, the crowd was focused on the child.

3. This went on for at least twenty-five minutes. And at the end, one of the staff had to point out to Sheryl that the infant was stirring.

4. The close up shot of the infant showed a child with her eyes shut, then barely opened, sticking her tongue out without any real indication of alertness.

Unfortunately, here’s what the News Observer also reported:

Meanwhile, Christiana is still fed through a gastric feeding tube. She cannot hold her head up, and for the time being, she resides at the Hilltop Home on New Bern Road in Raleigh, a residential center for children with profound developmental disabilities.

Let’s see if we can imagine it. Jesus was beat, whipped, crucified laid in a tomb after being wrapped by Joseph and his crew. Three days later, the man who claimed to be the messiah and to have power over death appears, looking like he came out the worst in a tangle with a meat grinder. He can barely stand up, both eyes are black, and He’s missing patches of hair. Yeah, I’m sure I’d want to follow after this fellow and even lay my life down for him. After all, He rose from the dead. Right?

Or how convincing would the healing of that sleepy head Eutycus who fell three stories if he had been taken away in a body brace, a neck brace, and in an induced coma? Yeah, he had no pulse when they first got there, but after Paul worked his miracle, the pulse returned and, wonders of wonders, he didn’t die from the massive internal bleeding he was still experiencing. However, his legs are broken, his spine is damaged and he’ll probably be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his miraculous life.

I say all of this to say that the miracle at River Church was at best a great deal of wishful thinking and at worst a cynical attempt to build up the reputation of Sheryl and her (I hate to use this word) ministry.

Look at what God can do and the power with which He can do it and don’t accept some anemic imitation like the one Sheryl tried to pass off back in December 2009.

I feel badly for the mother. Her child is still incapacitated. And now she has to deal with the religious noises Sheryl and her hoard have been making. And she has to deal with Sheryl walking the whole show back a little bit.

After shouting “I impart life…I stand in the mantle that God has given me, the mantle of healing…I release healing now…that this child would forever be made whole…the Lord heals you today…we drive out the spirit of infirmities…ooh shalla bang bang tonto comes inahonda…etc…etc…etc”, now, on her site she starts to walk the claims back. “The child wasn’t in a coma per se…the child is in a therapeutic home…etc.”

If the truth be told, I’m more impressed with what the congregation did after that (assuming it was the congregation and not the church leadership.

At Sunday’s service, Brady and her followers did their best. After a prelude of rousing music and sermons, Brady presented the mother - who returned this time without the baby - with the keys to a Raleigh apartment and a check for one year’s rent, along with dining and bedroom sets, towels, pots and pans, and even a bucket with cleaning supplies.
By the time the three-hour service was over, a church member popped up and added the keys to a car.

Stay away from places like this. They have no real idea of the power of God and are willing to attribute penny ante stuff, and to distort of what happened, to try to make God (and the pimp) look good. He doesn’t need our help to look good. Every time He saves an unregenerate sinner, it is done to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:6, 12) and He certainly doesn’t need the help of some one apparently trying to boost her own image at the expense of the hopes of a desperate mother.

And don’t forget, John K. Jenkins Sr, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering, had this woman preach to the congregation for New Year’s Revival last year (January 2009). You can read about it here.

These people don’t care about you. They don’t care about God. They don’t care about holiness. They don’t care about truth. They only care about themselves, their images, and their influence over you. Run away from them as fast as you can and get involved in a real church populated by real Christians following the real Christ.

Remember, if you lay in the sewer long enough, you won’t notice the smell. Get out now.

Pulpit Pimps | 53 Comments »

The pimps’ defenders usually pronounce the pimps as humble men of God simply going about doing God’s business.

Let’s see, John Jenkins owns at least two Mansions (I won’t even call them McMansions. I’ve been in one and it’s the real thing).

Ken Copeland has a fleet of planes including at least one twin engine, and a couple business jets. And they are all hangared/tied down at his own private airport (4T2 in Texas).

Eddie Long lives in a million dollar house and drives a quarter of a million dollar car (a Maybach).

We won’t even discuss T. Dexter Jakes and his multi-level scams, the helicopter used by the Houston Hustler, and his partner the Hustlerette, or the business jet and tacky mansion owned by Cashflow Dollar (this is a Power Point slide show).

Of course these guys are humble. They’re just greatly blessed by God. Right?

Now we come to more evidence of sanctified humility. A reader (Gayle) pointed out an interesting calendar today. It’s a Noel Jones calendar. It’s a calendar that lets us see the “humility” of these men and women.

Take a look at the advertisement for the calendar.

So let’s see if I understand how this works. If I put a picture of me and my admittedly cut body on a calendar and then tack a Bible quote along the top of each month, it’s a “Christian” calendar.

Maybe I’m just missing it, but what keeps this from being nothing more than beefcake? Admittedly Jones isn’t that young, but other than that I’m not seeing the difference.

So tell me again where Jesus Christ is in all of this?

By the way, it’s too late to get the beefcake calendar for 14.99. After December 13th the price went up to 19.99.

Pulpit Pimps | 44 Comments »

The pimps will tell you you have to have faith, the God kind of faith, to get what you want. If you’re poor, it’s because you’re not exercising the God kind of faith. If you’re sick, it’s because you aren’t exercising the God kind of faith. And of course if you don’t have the job you want, the car you want, the house you want or the spouse you want, it’s because you aren’t exercising the God kind of faith.

By now I’m sure you know this kind of faith isn’t faith at all. It’s a serious twisting of Scripture.

For those of you who are in a Word of Faith church, or any church with a pimp for a pastor, let me assure you there is a way to get out of that particular quagmire (definition #2). And yes, it does require faith. But it requires faith in the creator of the universe and His good intention for your life (assuming of course that you are a Christian and not simply a church goer).

About a week ago, I got an e-mail from a fellow I’m going to call Charlie. That’s not his real name. It seems that not only was he in a church run by a pulpit-pimp (though I suspect a sincere one); he was the pulpit-pimp. But rather than telling you what happened, I’ll let him speak for himself. Here is the content of his e-mail.

Melvin,

I just want to say thank you for your ministry of exposing the pulpit pimps who are deceiving so many. I, at one time, was a pulpit pimp because I was a Word of Faith preacher.

In the 80’s I met a man who was part of Charles and Frances Hunter’s ministry who took me under his wing and became my mentor. I sincerely believed in the prosperity message. I listened to all of the Copeland, Hagin, Sevell tapes, went to their meetings and then turned around and regurgitated all of it in my meetings.

In the late 80’s I attended Lee University and felt lucky to be able to go to Norvel Hayes’ meetings since he was in the same town. But I attended a systematic theology class, at the university, where the professor was thoroughly opposed to the prosperity message. As a result the heresy’s hold on me began to crack.

Though I would be upset by what he said, I began slowly to think critically about the theology I had embraced.

To make a long story short, I finally completely disavowed the word of faith message in the mid-90s while I was in seminary, and to this day I do everything I can to expose the heresy when the opportunity arises.

In 2000, I was pastoring a small country church. One of the pimps came to town and members of the congregation went to a revival with the pimp.

The evangelist even called me a wolf in sheep’s clothing because I went to one of his meetings and he was calling out everyone around me except me. And the reason, I believe he did, was because he knew that I knew. He knew that I saw right through him.

But unfortunately the damage had been done and I spent the better part of the next year standing against those in my church who would have preferred me to leave so they could teach that heresy without impunity. But my wife and I stood strong, while some people left. Fortunately, the church was preserved. I told them that even if meant burning on a stake I would defend the true historic Christian orthodox foundation that the Church has been founded on for centuries.

I know how I was deceived and my heart hurts for the people, or the sheeple, as you say. But I am indignant and angry at the pulpit pimps.

Fortunately, I have had the opportunity in my small circle of influence to defend the faith and will continue to do so.

By the way it was interesting to hear you mention L’enfant Plaza, because I work at the FAA in DC and ride the Metro every day.

Thanks,
Charlie

Again, if you are attending a church that preaches ANY elements of the WoF garbage, get out. Yes, it may be painful and scary at first. But I guarantee you if you exercise faith IN God and His faithfulness to us, you will not regret it.

Get out before you conscience is seared to the point you wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you on the butt.

Pulpit Pimps | 24 Comments »

While I certainly feel a great measure of compassion for his family and the loss to his wife, it seems Oral Roberts has shuffled off this world and has the task of facing the creator of the universe.

When someone dies, most folks try to say nice things about the person. But this is Pulpit-Pimps.org. And unlike my momma, I’ll speak even when I don’t have something nice to say. And when it comes to the pimps, I virtually never have something nice to say.

Oral Roberts, as Jack Hayford has pointed out, was responsible for the growth the Charismatic/Pentecostal movement in the twentieth century. If it hadn’t been for him and a few other men like him, we wouldn’t have such…uh…luminaries as Kenneth Copeland, Frederick K. C. Price, or Creflo Dollar. And those men wouldn’t have been in a position to spawn such pimps as T. Dexter Jakes, Benny Hinn, or Jentzen Franklin. And of course the Jakes contingent of pimps spawned such folks as Joel “Willow Boy” Osteen, Zachary Timms, and yes, even John K. Jenkins.

This is the same Oral Roberts who around 1977 said that the 900 foot tall Jesus he saw in the desert told him to star Oral Roberts University. A relatively short time later, that same Jesus (only much shorter) told him that God would take him from the earth if supporters didn’t send in something like 8 million dollars for the medical center, which ended up closing in 1989.

Given what he has done with respect to damage to the gospel, I can’t sit and call his death a home going. I shudder to think of what he had to face when Jesus sat before him on the Bema seat.

And the frightening thing is that every single one of the pulpit pimps, unless he or she should repent, will face the very Jesus Oral Roberts faced when he closes his eyes for the very last time.

Let me say that again – every single one of the pulpit pimps, unless he or she should repent, will fact the very same Jesus Oral Roberts faced when he closed his eyes for the very last time.

Pulpit Pimps | 42 Comments »

The last posting dealt with a set of men who lie to their congregations and fans. They say if you say “Money cometh!” then you will get rich. They are blatant in their claims that my words can effect the real world in a supernatural way. If I say money cometh, then it will. If I say my feet are killing me, they will. And if I say I’m dying to try a new recipe, I will.

But let’s not forget about men and women who don’t just make stuff up. Let’s also keep in mind the men and women who will use the Word of God, that which is intended to guide us to freedom from bondage, that which is described as truth, to enslave and yes, even impoverish men and women through their false teachings. They are men and women who would enrich themselves and finance a grubby little empire with the money from sheeple (mostly women) who can’t afford to to fix the hoopty they drive, much less finance the pimps’ lifestyles.

Here’s a collection envelop I got from Empowerment Temple (Jamal an’em’s church up in Baltimore).

Jamal does what virtually every pulpit pimp does. He presents a scripture (out of context), appeals to your greed (benefits and rewards), appeals to your fear (the cost of not giving), and announces the action you must take to reap the benefit and dodge the bullet.

And please note, Pimp Jamal doesn’t stop at the tithe. He goes on to hit his flock of sheeple up for an offering which should be given according to your level of prosperity. The more you make, the more you need to give to him…er…to the ministry…that pays him…that buys his cars…and his suits (tacky though they may be).

He then makes an extra step, one I absolutely must admire him for. It shows he has a set of cojones (that’s pronounced KOH HO NAYS) that any scam artist would love to own. It’s vision giving.

For tithing Jamal uses the standard verses – give a tithe from Deut 14:22; avoid the curse from Malachi 3:10 and 11; and how much to give Gen 28:22. But for Vision giving Mr. Bryant truly outdoes himself.

The key scripture? Solomon determines to build a temple and a palace (2 Chronicles 2:1) Would you care to explain to me the connection between Solomon and the Church? Or maybe the temple and a structure the local church may decide to meet in? Jamal takes a verse and builds it into a mandate that he can use to spiritually browbeat the members of his church.

And what, according to the back of the envelop, are the reason and purpose for giving? Well, Proverbs 3:9-10 of course! But actually, I suspect Jamal got the text wrong. It actually says:

Proverbs 3:9-10
9 Honor the Lord from your wealth And from the first of all your produce; 10 So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine.

So let’s see. Assuming he actually meant this verse, if I give money to build a new church building, my barns will be filled with plenty and my vats will overflow with new wine. But since I don’t own any barns and I don’t produce wine, it’s not going to do me much good to get those filled. Wait, I just realized I don’t own any cattle and I don’t grow crops either. All I produce on my job is tech manuals, requirements documents, and procedures. Does that mean I should give these things, you know, in place of a bunch of wheat, corn, and barley?

And now that I think of it, what does Solomon, a fellow who was given permission to build the temple, have to do with me? David collected all the resources for the temple (1 Chronicle 28:2,3) but he was told not to build it. Solomon was told that he was to build the temple. So should I consider myself to be David or Solomon?

If I consider myself likened unto Solomon the king, then does that means the vision offering should also go to have a house built for me? Or is it more likely the vision offering will go to have a house built for Jamal? From what I know of Jamal, I suspect it’s the latter.

Of course if I don’t give something to the vision offering, that means there will be no vision. And that means – you guessed it: Without a vision the people perish. Jamal has demonstrated that he is either a master con willing to take advantage of relatively foolish followers, or he has invested in an exhaustive concordance. How else would he have been able to build a faulty connection between his bogus Vision Offering and people perishing for lack of a vision?

Jamal may have studied at Oxford (for summer school) but he still has the cunning and instincts of a pimp. He is willing to say anything to convince his victims they must give to him. And when they are disappointed by the results, it’s because they don’t have the faith they should. Like the abuser in any other environment, the pimp blames the victim - and continues to abuse his victim until the victim walks away.

Pulpit Pimps | 9 Comments »

This site is here to warn the sheeple about the wolves and pimps that are out there waiting to take their money and feed them spiritual poison. I have reported on many of them, giving your their names and making sure you know what they look like. Although from the looks of it, the sheeple seem to revel at wallowing in the spiritual muck.

The site still gets comments from some of the sheeple warning us not to speak ill of the pimps because they are God’s anointed, or because these bozos are apparently men of God who are just doing what God wants them to do.

A reader called my attention to a YouTube video of Leroy “Linguisitcally Challenged” Thompson and his antics. And as a reward, we even get to watch Cashflow Dollar as he conspires with Leroy in leading an entire flock astray.

Did you notice the money thrown on the steps? Care to bet whether or not they use a lame comparison to stuff being laid at the feet of the Apostle?

And please notice, the church is not some ramshackled storefront. It appears to be a building of some substance. Yet these people are foolish enough to give this man and his fellow pimp, a boat load of money.

You have to wonder if Leroy and Cashflow are punishment to the Body for being willing to give attention to things that are contrary to the Word.

By the way, how many people do you think will write in to defend these two pimps?

Dr. Creflo Dollar, Pulpit Pimps | 47 Comments »

This is the last time addressing the building of monuments - for a while anyway. After this, I’ll get back to the unmitigated, living large, take your money pimps.

A reader pointed me to yet another fellow who wants to raise a monument to himself.

Below is a new mausoleum being raised in North Carolina. Actually, it’s an animated architectural rendering of the new mausoleum.

Care to make any guesses on how many people are actually being discipled (as opposed to being stacked up like cord wood in the pews)?

Again I will say that there is nothing INTRINSICALLY wrong with a large structure. But I’m just not seeing the purpose behind the big gaudy buildings these fellows are putting up. If they’re going to insist on doing homeless care and stuff, why not put the money there and just build a prefab steel structure for worship and study. It can’t be done, you say? I disagree.

Here’s a church that did exactly that. It’s a Reformed Presbyterian church in Bowie. As they grew, they built this structure and moved out of the dance studio at the YWCA.

The structure has classrooms and an auditorium/knave. The last time I was in there, they hadn’t installed permanent seats and the auditorium served multiple purposes.

If I remember correctly, the cost of the building was less than $300K. And that was because the building is functional not showy.

Am I saying everybody has to have the same kind of building or that everybody should spend the same amout of money? Not at all. Calvary Chapel has a huge congregation in Costa Mesa California. But apparently they do work at discipling the members. Grace Community, also in California, has a large congregation. But they focus on real discipling. I’m saying the money you bring in should be for promoting the Gospel and for building up the local body, not building up the local infrastructure. You don’t need a cathedral to present the Gospel. And you don’t need an impressive (or tacky, depending on your tastes) mausoleum to disciple.

Jesus wasn’t particularly impressed with the Temple in Jerusalem. You shouldn’t be impressed with the monuments to the pimps either. Instead, be impressed with the job your pastor does at building up the body and equipping you to build up each other. Everything else will burn up at judgment.

One last thing: How many big buildings do you think would go up if these guys had to pay property taxes on the buidlings and the land?

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 18 Comments »

Most of us spend our time chasing after things that have nothing whatsoever to do with Christ or the people being trundled off to hell.

My obsession with the pulpit pimps forced me to tie the following video (I found it at Julian of God’s site) from John Piper and Reach Records to the time the pimps are wasting building up huge congregations, huge buildings, huge homes, and huge stashes of stuff.

Apparently Highland Park Baptist Church in Prince Georges county Maryland has decided to up the ante in the facade race. They are now involved in a multimillion dollar building project. I suspect (though I can’t say for certain) it’s at least partly in response to John K. Jenkins’ memorial and mausoleum built out in Kettering. Here’s a shot of the planned monstrosity.

And of course you defenders of the pimps will say “But it takes money to do ministry!” After all, that’s the same thing you said when I pointed out the $55 million price tag for the Mausoleum on the Kettering (aka First Baptist Church of Glenarden).

But take a look at the following quote from Piper’s site and then let’s revisit the idea of ministry requiring money, lots and lots of money:

This prison is the largest maximum-security prison in America. It is one of the most famous prisons in the whole world. It has only murderers, rapists, armed robbers and habitual felons. The average sentence is 88 years, with 3,200 people in one place serving life sentences. Ninety percent of the inmates will die here. This is a place of hopelessness…

This little narrative describes Angola Prison in Louisiana, former hell hole and detention nightmare.

Here are some words used to describe the environment now:

There is a local extension of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in the prison and about 140 prisoners are enrolled. There are six churches in the prison and they train their own pastors. They send trained “missionaries” to other prisons to plant churches. They do this without using any tax money. But O the money—and lives—it saves!

Violence in the prison is rare. Courtesy and respect is pronounced. The ministry team of women who were visiting at the same time we were said they were treated with more respect from prisoners here, than in many places on the “outside.” Public profanity is not allowed.

Let me draw your attention to a statement in the quote. The PRISONERS send missionaries to other prisons to plant churches.

What is the difference between these men and the pimps who have a church on every corner of the decaying cities? Rather than making a bunch of noise about the need for money, these men are trusting the power of the Holy Spirit to make a difference, both in their prison and in providing opportunities to present the gospel to others.

They don’t have a big building. They don’t have a luxurious and sprawling campus (except to grow their food), and they definitely don’t have Armor bearers (aka inexpensive butlers and drivers). Instead, they have a love for God and a passion to see other men come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

These men do what I keep talking about. They disciple. They tell folks about Jesus Christ and His salvation and then they work one on one with the men who accept the message of life. They don’t try to pack the pews. They don’t come up with inane programs that make the congregation feel good while assisting them in avoiding the task of every Christian - telling others about the good news of Jesus Christ. They even send people to other prisons to tell them about Jesus Christ.

Oh, and if you read the entire article on Piper’s site, pray for GB, he is scheduled to die in January.

Pulpit Pimps | 16 Comments »

Last week I told you about my encounter with Fred (not his real name) when I visited First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering. It was heart breaking to listen to him and to watch the men strutting around in their suits, looking religious.

This past Thursday, while taking the metro in to work, I met another of my former associates from FBCGotK. This meeting was even more depressing.

I’ll call this bloke Rufus.

I saw Rufus a couple of feet from me as we traveled to L’Enfant Plaza to change trains. As I positioned myself to get off the train, I called his name (I was actually behind him as we exited) and said hello.

He responded, somewhat politely. I asked if he still worked at the Pentagon and he replied “yes.” He then asked me if I still ran this site and I responded “yes.” Then I mentioned that I assume he hasn’t seen any of the recent stuff since he asked about it.

Here’s where it gets interesting. He told me that he has read it (a curious thing to say since he just asked me if I still maintain it). And he followed that statement with “It’s all just a bunch of bickering!”

Being a fellow who likes to understand the terms being thrown around, I asked him what he meant by “bickering.”

At that point he became very defensive and said “You know what I mean. It’s bickering.” Efforts to clarify or give specifics to the accusation seemed to upset him more than anything else. I pointed out that he had brought up the site, not me. And if he didn’t want to talk about it I was fine with that.

He then asked me where I worship now and I told him the name of the place is Reformation Alive Baptist Church in Temple Hills. Interestingly, his response to that was “What does that part about Reformation mean?”

Being the gracious fellow I am, I proceeded to explain our adherence to the doctrines of grace.

To my amazement, as the train was approaching, he quite suddenly blurted “That site doesn’t read that way. It’s just a bunch of bickering!” At that point, I again explained to him that he brought up the site yet he didn’t seem to want to address specific issues. Like many of the readers who object to what I do here, he simply repeated himself. I didn’t bother to follow him as he entered the rail car. I got on the next one.

Rufus is one of the two types of men who attend FBCGotK. There are the folks like Fred, thoughtless enough to be able to stay in a place that completely disregards the truths of the Bible, having not a clue about doctrine, but friendly, wanting to be your friend.

Then there are the mindless dolts like Rufus who haven’t a clue about true Christianity and get insanely agitated when you actually call the church, and its pastor, to task for wandering from the truth of the Gospel. All they are able to do is make the same inane accusation over and over again, getting more upset when you ask for details.

On the other hand, I can at least respect Rufus. He was upset with me and he let me know he was upset with me. Deacon Featherstone, one of the the less than worthless deacons who allow John K. Jenkins to run amok (second set of definitions), smiled in my face and hugged me the last time I saw him. I was almost tempted to see if he had had his…um…package removed since he didn’t even have the ‘nads to tell me what he thinks.

Pulpit Pimps | 19 Comments »

I finally figured out what my general attitude is toward the lay men (those who aren’t pastor, assistant pastor, ministers or other position of responsibility) at First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering. It’s not anger and it’s not frustration.

It’s pity.

My wife thought last Sunday was communion Sunday. That means the evening service would be held in the monument out on the Kettering just off Maryland Route 193. Since she doesn’t drive all that well at night, I offered to take her. About half way there, we both realized it wasn’t communion Sunday, an easy conclusion since it was November 1st. Instead of returning home, we decided to go on over to the old building (at 3600 Brightseat Road) since we were already out.

That’s when I met one of my old students, a guy who has been a part of FBCGotK for at least the last 15 years. Let’s call him Fred since I don’t really want to throw his name out here and he’s not a public figure of any kind. He’s just one of the blokes trapped at FBCGotK.

Months earlier, I had asked Fred if he had any trouble at all with John K. Jenkins bringing in men who deny the essentials of the faith – you know, things like a Trinitarian God versus a Oneness approach to God, a la Noel “Christobabble” Jones and Charles Ellis. Unfortunately, Fred didn’t know what Oneness was. Once I explained it to him, he agreed to go and check on Jones and see if what I said about Jones is true.

He surprised me pleasantly and did the research he said he would do. But the response he gave on November first gave me some major insight into how John K. Jenkins can do and say the things he does and says.

After verifying what I said about Oneness men coming into the church, Fred went on to say that he didn’t have a problem with these men speaking to the congregation from the pulpit – as long as they don’t preach any kind of Oneness doctrine.

My internal theological attack dog’s chain almost slipped from my hand when Fred said this. But I controlled it and instead asked if he would have problems with a Jehovah’s Witness coming to preach to the congregation. He said he would not as long as the JW didn’t preach the doctrines the church disagreed with.

I then asked if he would have a problem if Louis “Calypso Louie” Farrakhan came to preach to the congregation. Fred said he would have to think about it. I told him I would give him a follow up call to discuss it.

Apparently it doesn’t matter what a person believes. It only matters what they preach. It doesn’t matter that Scripture says to stay away from these men and women and to have nothing to do with them. Apparently it doesn’t matter if the person preaching is even saved, as long as they preach the right thing.

John K. Jenkins has apparently spent the last ten to 15 years making sure the men of the church don’t grow spiritually. The ones who have remained there are at precisely the same level of Biblical understanding as they were when I left. To them discipleship consists of attending a class on Saturday mornings, facilitated by men who think Christian growth is measured by the number of activities you participate in around the church building. The idea of gaining a deeper understanding of Scripture and to allow those same Scriptures to begin to transform your mind doesn’t even occur to these men. The thought of standing on doctrine, any doctrine, to filter out the chaff is apparently alien to them. And when you consider the organization’s leadership have pledged to support John K. Jenkins’ vision, all would appear to be hopeless.

The men of FBCGotK, the ones who are on the religious treadmill, are not going to grow in Christ. As long as they remain in the circumstances they are in, they are not going to see anything past that which John K. Jenkins permits them to see.

The church’s motto is “Developing, Dynamic Disciples through Discipleship, Discipline and Duplication.” (sic) I was there when the church developed the catchy sounding motto. And I was the one who immediately questioned it when the catchy motto was being rolled out.
My objection was that it is at best a redundant statement. And at a minimum, the statement appears to indicate the creators have no real understanding of discipleship. If I am going to disciple someone, am I not going to bring discipline into their lives? And isn’t duplicating in another that which I have in my life a part of making a disciple?

John K. Jenkins is, at best, playing at church. And the men following him? They are religious, never coming to understand Christianity in terms of anything other than “shalt nots”. If you keep your willie in your pants, you must be a Christian. If you don’t steal, you must be a Christian. If you don’t do this or that, then you must be a Christian. Having a working knowledge and understanding of the Bible isn’t really something they consider. As one guy put it: “You’re getting too detailed.”

To them, it doesn’t seem to be about the glory of God. They seem more concerned about the opinions of men and the glory of their buildings since it’s the building that indicates whether or not God is blessing them. Ask the Oneness perp T. Dexter Jakes. He’ll tell you. According to him, the buildings we build now are a testimony to our faith. Or you can ask the Mormons, they have a bunch of really neat buildings, one of them right here near Washington DC.
The men at FBCGotK are treading water, going nowhere. They have an opportunity to impact their world for Christ and instead are sitting in a building playing at church. They have an opportunity to grow in Christ and instead are singing in the choir and “getting’ their praayze on.” The deacons are men who have no doctrinal foundation.

Their main qualification appears to be the ability to recite the books of the Bible, in order, and to recite Bible verses that refer to deacons, elders, and pastors. Check the boxes, stay busy and do your homework and you too can be a deacon (as long as you don’t question leadership and display the ability or willingness to actually use Scripture to question.

By the way, my brother bought me an iPod Touch a couple of weeks ago. I took it with me to occupy myself while John K. Jenkins preached. The iPod is wi-fi capable – that is, I can access a nearby open wireless network and get onto the internet using my iPod Touch. I used it to do a little research on the F-100 Super Sabre, a follow on to the F-86 Sabre. I snagged a couple of images. And I did some other Google searches.

I thought it would be pretty neat to do some historic real-time blogging from within the belly of the beast. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered the church IT administrator has blocked Pulpit-pimps.org’s specific IP address. That would explain why all the visits I was getting from FBCGotK fell so precipitously. FBCGotK slammed the door to my site shut. I guess maybe they are paying a little more attention to me than they might want to admit.

Pulpit Pimps | 23 Comments »

Back in the early days of the site, I toyed with the idea of audio clips of me and various other folks. This one, a tirade against the pimps, is pretty much the only one I did. And let me tell you - it took a lot of work. I couldn’t just wait until the anointing hit. I had to lay out what I wanted to say. I actually had to walk through it a couple of times to make sure it said what I wanted it to say.

The speech (I still hesitate to call these things sermons) lays out verbally the reasons for the site, attempting to address the proliferation of knee-jerk responses the site drew.

Melvin’s Rant - Click Here

Interestingly, I could almost feel some spirit trying to take control of me and have me tell you “Turn to you neighbor and say ‘Ain’t no pimp gonna take advantage of me!!!!’” But as you can see, I was able to successfully fight off that particular urge.

Christian Living, Pulpit Pimps | 17 Comments »